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sublilcious -> First time meetings (12/22/2005 2:54:41 PM)
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There has been much said about first time meetings, safety etc. I have arranged safe-calls, come prepared with a list of questions, et in a safe, neutal location, etc.
But recently i had a different experience that has paved the way for what looks to be the beginning of a great relationship. First i was rather picky about choosing a playmate. Spent sevral months looking for someone who had much in common w/me in the vanilla sense. We "vanilla chatted" online for sometime before meeting. I wanted to be sure he was really interested in me as opposed to being interesed in just doing me.
We met for dinner at his suggestion and had a lovely time. Very little scene talk took place. He was charming and quite the gentleman. A short time later he asked me to accompany him to a movie and we sat holding hands in the dark. The vibe betwen us so incredibly strong, but still he did not act on it.
On the third evening we had another great restaurant experience and had planned to spend some time "getting to know each other." I could barely hold my fork and could not finish my meal. He knew about my interests and experience level and kept that in mind as the evening progressed. There was never any formal negotiation and yet it was the wildest, most wonderful time I've had to date.
What have i learned from this? It reinforces the idea that one's gut reaction is quite accurate. If someone leaves me feeling bored, strange or even creepy then it is not a match (perhaps not a safe situation either)
And, that it is just as much the responsibility of the dom/master to create the atmoshpere you need to feel safe. If he does not do that immediately,
what else will he not do? Will he not play safe? Not attend to your own needs? Bore you to death?
Advice: Don't waste a lot of time analyzing every thing he/she said or did. If you find yourself doing that-then say "Pass." Listen to your own heart beating above all else.
[:@]
Ciao,
Subilicious
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