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CreativeDominant -> RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet (11/22/2008 12:37:26 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MzMia
I would like to get some comments from the BDSM population
here at CM, so here goes.
I am meeting someone from CollarMe, soon!
[:D]
A potential submissive if all goes right.
We have exchanged photo's, been chatting basically everyday online,
telephone, and emails for almost 3 months.
He lives about a 13 hour drive from me.
We are planning to meet over the Christmas holidays.
I am planning to fly to meet him on a fairly inexpensive flight, since he lives
near a major city, so that is not a problem.
I don't want to stay at his place, so I am planning on staying in a hotel.
He has been joking about sleeping on the floor and I was talking about separate beds.
After giving this more thought, I am now thinking we need separate rooms.
This is after all, our very first face to face meet.
It is going to cost both of us more than I would like, but deep down I think it is the right thing.
Both of us have our own place, but again I feel more comfortable about it going this way.
Question.
When you meet someone for the first time, and you live a considerable distance from each other,where do you stay?
I know all about "safe calls" and that could be an option, but I am talking about getting to know someone in person well, prior to playing, when distance IS an issue, and you won't be in a position to see each other every weekend.
Being 12-13 hours away, I doubt we will ever see each other every weekend, unless one of us moves.
That would be something to think about a LONG time from now.
We are hoping if all works out, in the future seeing each other at least once a month.
And the NEXT visit would be in the same room.[;)]
Deep down, part of me wants to know how many of you sluts meet and play on the first meet!!!
[:D][:D]
I've had several submissives come and visit me...3 of them I was developing relationships with and the first meet seemed to seal the deal. In each of those relationships, the length of the dynamic ranged from 1 yr, 3 mos to 2 3/4 years. There were also a few who came to see me in which a relationship other than "casual" playpartners/friends was not sought by either of us. I played with each of them on that first meet but we'd been talking for quite awhile before that meeting took place. The time range varied from 3 mos. - 6 mos. of talking beforehand.
As has been said, you have to go with what feels right. I never coerced them into playing with me and they certainly did not force me to play/sleep with them. I may have been extremely lucky or smart or a combination of both but I've only had one meeting/beat/sleep end badly and I've detailed that on here before.
I've stated on here that I am a firm believer that a long-distance relationship is possible...with time and attention from both parties, with a commitment to overcoming the difficulties inherent in such a relationship from both parties, and a desire to truly give it a chance. That belief has been shaken up a bit from time to time but I always remember that one of them came to live with me and was here until I sent her home and another moved herself and her husband here to be near me so I do know that it can be done.
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