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Addiction and Recovery - 11/22/2008 10:29:22 AM

califsue

Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
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Due to the circumstance I currently find myself in I am wondering if any M/D/s are willing to share their experience. If not on the board, you can cmail on the other side.

If you as a Master/Dom was ever the person with the addiction were you involved in a M/D/s relationship at the time?
Did you live together or apart?
Did you ask for specific help from your s-type and if so what type of support from them was helpful?

I know there are support groups for families and friends of people who are recovering addicts.

Just curious to get some perspective from anyone who may have been involved in a committed M/D/s relationship if they were in one and what was helpful.

I know communication is KEY and we are communicating.

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RE: Addiction and Recovery - 11/22/2008 10:59:01 AM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
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First of all, I wanted to see our avatars side by side.

Addictions are more common that many of us want to admit.
You can be addicted to food, sex, pornography, work, drugs,
alcohol, people, the internet, etc.

For me, it depends on what the addiction is, and what the person
is doing for themself to control, reduce or eliminate the addiction.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 11/22/2008 11:01:16 AM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

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RE: Addiction and Recovery - 11/22/2008 11:19:04 AM

califsue

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Joined: 2/2/2008
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MsMia,

Too cute....same avatars.

The addiction is alcohol and yes there are many types of addiction.
He went through a rehab program and graduated this week. He asked for the referral from his personal physican and his doctor wasn't sure they would take him. He has a found support group that works for him and is close to him. He had to have an action plan for staying sober before he could leave the program which he does have.

His challenges include learning to structure his day since he has been retired for 10 yrs and his day has been much do as you want. He is thinking about returning to school for his Master's so he can teach as he has all the other credentials.

He is not ashamed or embarrassed about his addiction.

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RE: Addiction and Recovery - 11/22/2008 2:29:07 PM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
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Helping others , who suffered from alcoholism did wonders for...me.

Getting people to *understand* that...at times is very frutrating...they think its about drinking...and its not.

I wish him as well as you some....peace, now...

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RE: Addiction and Recovery - 11/22/2008 2:35:20 PM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
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Obviously, i'm not a Master. And i had been in recovery about 12 years when He and i got together. But, if i can be of any assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me.
My prayers are with You both.
Kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

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RE: Addiction and Recovery - 11/22/2008 2:41:43 PM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
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While not a D/s relationship, my late mother was an alcoholic. She tried a number of rehab programs over the years until she finally went to a 28 days program that stressed the 12 step program of AA. Once released my dad and i both jointed Al anon and she became very active in AA. It helped a great deal, not just knowing none of us was alone in the struggle, but also offered ways to help ourselves and others. While i no longer attend i still have the mindset of AA and Al anon, and more often or not it helps me make it through the day.

Good luck to you both.
jimini

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

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RE: Addiction and Recovery - 11/22/2008 4:21:10 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: califsue

Due to the circumstance I currently find myself in I am wondering if any M/D/s are willing to share their experience. If not on the board, you can cmail on the other side.

If you as a Master/Dom was ever the person with the addiction were you involved in a M/D/s relationship at the time?
Did you live together or apart?
Did you ask for specific help from your s-type and if so what type of support from them was helpful?

I know there are support groups for families and friends of people who are recovering addicts.

Just curious to get some perspective from anyone who may have been involved in a committed M/D/s relationship if they were in one and what was helpful.

I know communication is KEY and we are communicating.

Hello califsue
There is a lot of history in my life with addiction, lost a brother that way and plus my own drug addiction, to just name a couple.
Also I use to work as a drug abuse counselor for a Methadone clinic.

My own addiction cost me a very precious relationship that I had at 19. For me being hit by a car and almost not making it, began my journey to wake up and get clean.

Biggest thing that seems to help people in recovery is to not go back to their old 'bars'. What I mean by that is to let go of old friendships that were all about getting high. 12 step programs are great place for people to start as well. Addiction is a cover -up for the pain we carry. When you take the addiction away, it is a good idea to start working on the past that bind you to the addictions. A good counselor can help, providing you didn't know how to talk around the counselors's head, and nothing gets said. Unfortunately I was an expert at doing that. It is a long and hard journey, and each day is to be celebrated for not picking up that drink or pill. Learning to become accountable is a must. The first real step for me was getting out of the victim role, and the hardest.

When I was in recovery, I went to A.A., N.A, and C.o.d.a (codepency) groups, and i read and listen to a lot of self -help tapes. During my recovery, I was in my marriage, which was vanilla. My husband didn't pick me up everyt time I threw a hissy fit. He supported my going to groups and everything I did to help myself. He did read a lot of the books I read, which helped him to get a grasp of what was going on in my head. I made it, and am clean now from drugs, since i was 28, almost 30 years, and 25 years clean of my warped dry addiction. One thing about being clean from any drug, is the possibility of being a dry drunk, dry drug addict. This means no changes in one's behavior.

Please feel free to cmail me, and if i do not answer right away, it is because I might not have access to a computer.
Blessings
oceanwynds

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RE: Addiction and Recovery - 11/22/2008 9:26:25 PM

Alighierisquest

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Joined: 6/16/2007
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If it was me and I was in a D/s relationship and addiction entered the equation my first step would be to find out who their primary support group is whether it was their family, friends, community or church and act as an adjunct to them helping this person get clean.

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"Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth. "
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RE: Addiction and Recovery - 11/23/2008 12:37:51 PM

natasha66

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
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Alcoholism/addiction is nothing to be ashamed of. They are diseases, just like cancer. The only shame in it should be NOT seeking help. I've been on both sides of the fence as it were, both in AA for my own issues (nearly 6 years now), and in Alanon (my father died of alcoholism). Support (in any form one can get it) is absolutely crucial to solid healthy recovery. It's a long process, but in the end, so worth it....

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

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