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AAkasha -> RE: How I screwed up... (11/22/2008 3:33:22 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: thatstheway
I was given a second chance by mistress and were given simple directions to post on the message boards here but didnt take the time to do so and upset her. I feel like a piece of crap for doing so. MY mistress has never done anything wrong to me. All she has done was show me the way and teach me the "ropes". I can honestly say that I dont think she will forgive me. I will do my best to make it up to her. Does anyone have any advice for me to earn her forgiveness?
So it was the "second" chance and it was pretty simple and straight forward and you blew it? Your chances may be lost.
I'll offer one piece of advice, or an observation, just in case it applies or if some other sub is reading this who might have screwed up in a similar manner. You have to take a serious and long look at yourself. What is it about your inability to obey? Why is it? I have had experiences with some subs who were very obedient and always screwed up, in short order, but then in a matter of days came crawling back, pleading for a second chance, or a third, and while they could follow dramatic and intense sexual commands to the letter, they failed miserably at the crucial, tiny little orders. Like "call me tomorrow," or "send me a short email before you go to bed" or "drop me a line at the end of the weekend and summarize your thoughts." .
Ok - so why? Why is this the case? If you find, that as a sub, your ability to *obey* tends to wax and wane, you have to get a handle on that. You either have to realize that you will never be in a successful relationship with a femdom if you cannot be consistent and are doomed to constant flings. Or, you have to be brutally honest with her and yourself about your flakiness - and figure out why it's so. Either you are just a bottom, and you don't care enough to want to commit for the long haul (which is fine, but find partners who want the same thing), or your ability and desire to submit runs in cycles parallel to your sex drive. Horny = very able to submit, mostly to fun and sexual tasks. Not so horny = lazy, the little rules seem boring, hard to focus, oops I forgot, damn I forgot again! Oops! And the cycle goes on and on...
Honesty and communication are key above all. Femdoms have a lot of options. If she totally digs you during "playtime" and things gel very nicely, she might be willing to put up with the drama for the short term, but it gets old quickly. Femdoms are often likely to tolerate a little less lustful connection in return for consistency and a sub who does as told and doesn't randomly turn into a flake. That kind of drama might work with vanilla women who like a bad boy or a guy who seems hard to 'tame,' but femdoms tend to tire of the bullshit faster.
Akasha
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