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LadiesBladewing -> RE: knowing your role (12/23/2005 5:23:31 AM)
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I think that this is one of the concepts that sort of fell by the wayside when "classical" leather training fell away for much of the community. The classically-trained Master got there by submitting and learning, and working hir way up the ladder, until xhe earned hir leathers.
In the same way, in many other walks of life, it is common to yield oneself within the community, to ones who have walked the road before and who have experience there, and submit to learning before taking off an leading... then, eventually, taking on the responsibility to -teach- those who are coming in fresh to yield and to learn.
I think that human beings are infinitely flexible. I can tell you that I would -never- have considered myself a "submissive" person before I came to study in the monastary. In fact, I never backed down to anyone, and often "bit off my own nose to spite my face", rather than giving in to anyone else's idea of what I should and shouln't do. The cost of doing so was amazingly high -- many things that I might have as resources now, and many people that I might have been able to call on as friends became "burned bridges" to my inflexible attitudes.
Do I regret having had classical training, both in life and in the "lifestyle"? No. I think that it has shown me how flexible I can be, and opened me up to see an innate wisdom in people, even when they don't express it well. It has given me options, and helped me to learn how to pick my battles for the greatest positive movement for everyone involved. I think it has made me a better owner, and a better matriarch.
I tell people that their time with us will shape them. We don't -know- yet what it will shape them into, but -I- know that if they apply themselves, giving their whole hearts to the training even when it isn't what they think they would like, or what "turns them on", and even when it seems harder or more boring, or more menial, or less "sexy" than they imagined, they will really -like- the person who comes out of it.
Some of the people who train with us don't -stay- servants with us. Some of them pick up a life where they lead and the people that they lead flourish under their leadership. Other people find that they -live- to serve, and that living -in- service is all they can imagine for their lives.
I listen to people say that they are "naturally" one thing or another... and truthfully, at one point in my life, I said the same thing myself. I think this idea limits us, though. If it is true that we are bound by what we think we are born as, it limits our flexibility (adaptability) in the world. Honestly, most of the people who have come to us to begin service have been really -strong- people. Many of them would -never- have been taken for "submissive" in the outside world. This is a mark of our capacity to adapt, and while they may not have been -happy- about the adaptation they had to make, and it may not have seemed fulfilling, the truth is, we all have a bit of everything in us, and it is our mind, heart and spirit that determine how fully we allow ourselves to stretch to see just exactly what we can become. In the end, I believe that the more resilient and more versatile we are, the more fulfilled we will be as people.
Lady Zephyr
quote:
ORIGINAL: foxglove716
I was thinking about the so called dominant or submissive roles... and I was just thinking what if it were just a uniform? That the truely creative doms and subs think outside of that box while the sheep are herded into it? Its just a thought... I had better stop now before I say something that will get me labled "not submissive" [;)]
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