Meeting in r/l (Full Version)

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RobbieNJ -> Meeting in r/l (12/22/2005 7:47:40 PM)

How do you meet true D/s friends in real life; the only interesting online people are just too far away?



siamsa24 -> RE: Meeting in r/l (12/22/2005 7:48:56 PM)

Go and meet them in real life instead of online.






Or learn to love traveling [:D]



sub4hire -> RE: Meeting in r/l (12/22/2005 8:03:42 PM)

quote:

How do you meet true D/s friends in real life; the only interesting online people are just too far away?


Depends what the word true means. However, you can find a local munch or drive to one if one isn't in your city.
Best places to meet people.



peppermint379 -> RE: Meeting in r/l (12/22/2005 8:09:18 PM)

quote:

How do you meet true D/s friends in real life; the only interesting online people are just too far away?


You live in the best of times. You have the internet to help you find people in real life. So, search for the local dungeons. Find out where the nearest munch group meets. Then get out and meet those people. If you're too shy to show up to a munch alone, contact the munch and see if you can get a buddy to meet you and introduce you around on your first visit.

I attended my first event this summer. It was a camping trip for BDSM people. When i signed up to attend the camp, i didn't know a soul who was going. However, i met people there and made some friends. Those friends introduced me to other people....and the ball was rolling.



OscarHargraves -> RE: Meeting in r/l (12/22/2005 8:43:28 PM)

I don't know. I have the same problem except it's a heck of a lot further to go to find a munch. Closest one I've located is in Denver which is 450 miles away.



obis -> RE: Meeting in r/l (12/22/2005 9:07:40 PM)

The next time a conversation about movies begins, bring up "Secretary". You will find out within a few minutes who is interested or active in D/s simply by the smiles, knowing glances, and foot-shuffling.



Rayne58 -> RE: Meeting in r/l (12/22/2005 10:50:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: obis

The next time a conversation about movies begins, bring up "Secretary". You will find out within a few minutes who is interested or active in D/s simply by the smiles, knowing glances, and foot-shuffling.


Hmmm.....I rented that movie last week and when I returned it the guy in the shop looked at me and said "Interesting movie isn't it" - I didn't know which way to look [&o]

In answer to the OP try searching for Yahoo groups in your area. There is a Sydney group which has monthly parties and though we have only been to one so far everyone was friendly and welcoming.



cravinspankin -> RE: Meeting in r/l (12/22/2005 11:00:28 PM)


quote:



In answer to the OP try searching for Yahoo groups in your area. There is a Sydney group which has monthly parties and though we have only been to one so far everyone was friendly and welcoming.


I would agree. I'm a member of a local yahoo group which is where i've made great friends, both Dominants and submissives. i've learned much from them, and while i'm looking for the right Dom to serve, they give me an opportunity to scene and try new things.



MasterRobert1 -> RE: Meeting in r/l (12/23/2005 4:01:27 AM)

There are resl life BDSM D/s venues available. It's simply a matter of looking around. They are there, if you are interested. Try doing a serach.



sweetpettjenny -> RE: Meeting in r/l (12/23/2005 4:16:07 AM)

you just do it ...simple as that



fldrkhorse -> RE: Meeting in r/l (12/23/2005 5:20:11 AM)

Distance is only relative to desire.



JohnWarren -> RE: Meeting in r/l (12/23/2005 7:09:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RobbieNJ

How do you meet true D/s friends in real life; the only interesting online people are just too far away?


Libby and I are members of SPICE (www.spicebds.com), a social and educational organization in southeast Florida. We also attend several munches and are members of several organizations that throw private house parties. In addition, we travel to regional events like Orlando Bash and national ones like the Folsom Street Fair.

A good resource is www.darkheart.com/usalist.html


Mostly we just use online for realtime and massageboard communications but we have met a number of play partners through that medium.



JohnWarren -> RE: Meeting in r/l (12/23/2005 7:11:52 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint379
I attended my first event this summer. It was a camping trip for BDSM people. When i signed up to attend the camp, i didn't know a soul who was going. However, i met people there and made some friends. Those friends introduced me to other people....and the ball was rolling.


Was it Camp Crucible? Libby and I've attended. Great crowd and well run.



wolffeathers -> RE: Meeting in r/l (12/23/2005 8:02:53 AM)

To the OP:

You'd be shocked at how many people you know are into D/s. There are many that just don't advertise it.

When I go to the local goth/industrial/fetish club, I don't go in "dom gear".

I let what I am be known from the way I act.

There are also many that don't want to be known.

Why? They feel that it's wrong.

Bring up D/s in conversations with friends.

Just don't go "Hey, I want to know if your into D/s".

No, start asking about dominance in other places.

Watch their eyes, their the gateway to the soul.

You will see the knowing looks on their faces.

Now, if I can just get one concrete thought out, instead of eight, these would be easier to read.



RobbieNJ -> RE: Meeting in r/l (12/23/2005 8:42:43 AM)

Thanks for all the great replys, but munches aren't at all what I'm looking for. I've been to a few clubs and things in NYC, and its about as real as Disneyland, but much weirder, and some really scarey and dangerous people. That's not at all what I'm looking for.
The people I'm looking for live "Secretary" not watch it.
I've met a bunch of really great people though this one older woman, but she moved in one direction and I moved in a different direction, and now I'm nowhere close to anyone. They could somehow meet people in stores, at work, on the street, whatever, and I just can't seem to do that.



MasterLark -> RE: Meeting in r/l (12/23/2005 9:08:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RobbieNJ

Thanks for all the great replys, but munches aren't at all what I'm looking for. I've been to a few clubs and things in NYC, and its about as real as Disneyland, but much weirder, and some really scarey and dangerous people. That's not at all what I'm looking for.
The people I'm looking for live "Secretary" not watch it.
I've met a bunch of really great people though this one older woman, but she moved in one direction and I moved in a different direction, and now I'm nowhere close to anyone. They could somehow meet people in stores, at work, on the street, whatever, and I just can't seem to do that.


Then online and patience and perservence will guide you to where you need to be.



GentileDomNY -> RE: Meeting in r/l (12/23/2005 9:24:25 AM)

To some extent the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence.
A few friends had convinved me that the ways in which I traditionally met people, through work or school, theirs or mine, was simply too risky in the politically correct and litigious society that we now live in, especially in a smaller and more conservative city.
My experience with online has been a few brief interesting exchanges with a few people who seemed nice and interesting, but 99% just an empty void. OK to pass some time when you are home alone on a snowey winter night, but not much more than that.
I think circumstances didtate what is best. Online is certainly the approach that is easiest, safest, least risk. Its easy to do at times like this, when you are waiting for the delivery man to show up when you can't do much else. Connecting in r/l with people you meet online sounds good, but so far my experience has been only 2 "no-show, no calls."
My suggestion, take it for what it is worth, if you want to meet people in r/l, get out from in front of the computer and go where you will be exposed to interacting with a continuous stream of new and different people, face-to-face.



Archer -> RE: Meeting in r/l (12/23/2005 9:26:48 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RobbieNJ

Thanks for all the great replys, but munches aren't at all what I'm looking for. I've been to a few clubs and things in NYC, and its about as real as Disneyland, but much weirder, and some really scarey and dangerous people. That's not at all what I'm looking for.
The people I'm looking for live "Secretary" not watch it.
I've met a bunch of really great people though this one older woman, but she moved in one direction and I moved in a different direction, and now I'm nowhere close to anyone. They could somehow meet people in stores, at work, on the street, whatever, and I just can't seem to do that.


The thing is Munches are where you start meeting people not where you finish it, you meet a few people at the munch that "live the Secretary" and they introduce you to other people who "live it" and so on. Going to clubs and bars will get you meeting bar and club people.

You mentioned being in NYC a few times you might try going to a TES Educational meeting and getting involved that way. www.tes.org

Meeting people into this RT isn't all that hard, but you may have to leave your comfort zone a little bit.

In Leather

Archer



peppermint379 -> RE: Meeting in r/l (12/23/2005 9:28:34 AM)

quote:

Was it Camp Crucible? Libby and I've attended. Great crowd and well run.


No, it was called In The Woods 2005 and is put on by the Triskeli Guild here in WA each summer. As with your Camp Crucible, was a great crowd and just so much fun!!!



peppermint379 -> RE: Meeting in r/l (12/23/2005 9:58:58 AM)

quote:

Thanks for all the great replys, but munches aren't at all what I'm looking for. I've been to a few clubs and things in NYC, and its about as real as Disneyland, but much weirder, and some really scarey and dangerous people. That's not at all what I'm looking for.


It's rather difficult to offer advice to someone who wishes to make connections, but doesn't wish to go to those functions where connections might be made. I still think munches are the best place to meet people who
quote:

live "Secretary" not watch it.


As to striking up conversations with strangers in a store or on the street....well, once i did see someone wearing a necklace with a handcuff pendant. However, i was at work and didn't feel comfortable in going up to the person to ask if she were into BDSM. Who knows....her boyfriend/husband might be a police officer and that is why she wore that necklace.

The only part of the movie Secretary that i liked was the last minute....where she is on the porch as he drives to work through a normal, everyday neighborhood. We don't carry around banners saying that we're kinky. We have jobs, shop for groceries, in general look like everyone else. Your best bet might be to hang around the local hardware store, waiting to strike up a conversation with someone who is buying hooks and chains.



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