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Holiday Traditions - 11/23/2008 7:13:28 AM

RealSub58

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I know that holidays mostly starting this time of the year can really weigh on the emotions of some people. This is not about our loneliness or aloneness on these holidays. I want to think positively cause I can dish out a lot of negative emotions and I don't want to ~~~ think positively.... but I am curious.I am going to use the word traditions to mean anything that is repeated year to year. 1.) Those without SO or close (as in distance) family, do you have any traditions of your have? With a specific group of friends?2.) Those without SO and you have family within 100 miles (or so), what traditions do you have?3.) Those with new SO and family (both those of his and yours), what will you do during the holidays? Have you met each other's family and will you try to fit in both places?4.) Those with SO of several years, have you come to a phase where you have your own traditions?5.) How many of you feel totally "scattered" with visiting family and wanting your own traditions? This question is for submissives who do not live with their D type.How long was it before you were included in his family for their traditions? Or he into yours. And do you have your own?

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RE: Holiday Traditions - 11/23/2008 8:46:03 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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I'm pretty darn scattered since I chose to move away from family with my partner. This means I have an annual tradition of flying out to see family, get a hotel and a car on my own for a few days, and get the "only just a few days" response as in I'm not being a good enough family person because I take my own few vacation days and pay for everything myself just to make sure I see them. They mean well and I love them, but they can be quite passive aggressive.

In our family, other friends and such don't really get included until it gets "serious" like living together or engagement or marriage. So my partner is invited, but again due to distance, hasn't actually gone with.

My partner and I created things that works for us- we celebrate Hannaukah together in our simple way and we also do some christmas presents, and we go to at least one holiday concert.

So for us I'd say it's all sort of a mixed bag- we both mostly just want extra days to sleep in and be warm and snuggly together.

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RE: Holiday Traditions - 11/23/2008 8:53:20 AM

Surata

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When I was still with my ex, my favorite holiday tradition consisted of almost everyone pretending to sleep while his mother yelled at everyone to get in the f*cking kitchen and play board games with her. Now that I'm alone after having moved halfway across the country, I'm going to revert back to what I did before I met him... Spend the holidays reflecting back on my life and reveling in the fact that I have no regrets.

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RE: Holiday Traditions - 11/23/2008 2:33:38 PM

peppermint

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We're a group of snowbirds from the US and Canada...some married, some single. I do the traditional Thanksgiving meal for everyone at my motor home. Our friends cook steaks on the BBQ for Christmas. None of us has family within 1000 miles so these traditional dinners make the holidays more special.

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RE: Holiday Traditions - 11/23/2008 8:43:57 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RealSub58

1.) Those without SO or close (as in distance) family, do you have any traditions of your have? With a specific group of friends?

When I was single, I spent the holidays with family and friends. Before we all parted company to spend time with our families, my group of friends and I would all gather to decorate a tree - usually with homemade decoraction cause we were broke college kids - in the living room of whoever had an apartment. We mulled wine, sang, honored as many different traditions as we could without going broke or crazy.

quote:

4.) Those with SO of several years, have you come to a phase where you have your own traditions?

I wouldn't say we have our own traditions yet. This is the first year where we are doing the holidays as a couple rather then two people who seperate to see their own families for the holidays.

quote:

5.) How many of you feel totally "scattered" with visiting family and wanting your own traditions?

I wouldn't say we feel scattered though I would say that we are starting to make our own traditions to bridge the differences in the religious beliefs in our families and ourselves.

quote:

This question is for submissives who do not live with their D type.How long was it before you were included in his family for their traditions?

While I live with my mine, I feel that this is a still a valid question for us. We have lived together for about two years and this is the first time we will celebrate the winter holidays together (with the exception of New Years). Val and I have been trading off New Year's since we first started dating and have traded off Thanksgiving with our familes for two years. This year both families and we will meet up for the winter holidays.

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RE: Holiday Traditions - 11/24/2008 7:22:27 AM

wandersalone

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I will be away from my immediate family for the first time in 8 years this christmas. I have relatives here who have invited me for the day and my flatmate has also invited me to spend time with he and a friend however I am thinking of going for a drive to the coast and walking along the beach, maybe meditating a bit and reminding myself of all of the wonderful people in my life.....I just wish they lived closer.

At various times my friends and I would have an orphans christmas where everyone who didn't have somewhere to go would pile up to one of our places, we would all bring a dish and it would be a wonderful day.

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RE: Holiday Traditions - 11/24/2008 7:25:34 AM

persephonee

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When i was married, we spent every holiday with her family.
Now that im on the coast and my friends and family are in the middle of the country, i dont get to see them for the actual holidays...i tried to fly home a few years back, and it was a flippin nightmare.
Thanksgiving is taken care of as we are invited to one of my friends house for the day.
Christmas will more than likely be spent at home just the two of us, wait, and the cat, of course..she just looked at me when i almost didnt mention her. Think she gets on here when im at work.
i have tried to create certain traditions for the other occupant of this house, but im so lacking in that area that i just havent been successful....he wakes up, finds me passed out under the tree usually with a screwdriver still in hand, as i generally fall asleep while trying to put together whatever hellish contraption he requested from that Nazi SantaClaus...he wakes me up by throwing ripped up wrapping paper on me as he just steps over me to get whatever it is im using as a pillow...the whole time, yelling out that he cant believe how lucky he is. Kids...what do they know?

Then i make breakfast and force him to stop running, ripping, screaming...whatever it is that hes doing to exacerbate my headache from sleeping on a baseball mitt all night.
Then we eat throw the popcorn off the tree at the cat so she gets a snack. (we make popcorn/cranberry strands)
Then i spend the day trying to sneak the batteries out of the things that make noise or are otherwise annoying...and he spends the day hiding said toys and playing with them in closets and the hallway...hoping that i dont find him and win the tug of war....
i generally find him at one point in time or another sleeping inside a larger sized box from some such toy and leave him there until the smell of dinner wakes him up.
And thats that.

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RE: Holiday Traditions - 11/24/2008 8:12:15 AM

NuevaVida

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I wouldn't really call him my "SO" at this point. He lives in Hawaii, I live in California. We spend time with our families over the holidays. He'll be here in a couple of weeks and we'll have some time together, and then we'll part - he'll be with his son and mother and I'll be with my family. My brother invited him for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas, simply because it's so obvious they'll all get along really well and because, as my brother says, "Anyone who brings that kind of smile to my sister's face is welcome in my home." I thought that was sweet.

But no, we haven't met each other's families. His is scattered, and the timing probably won't work out well this visit to meet mine. But we'll see...

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RE: Holiday Traditions - 11/24/2008 8:17:08 AM

LaTigresse

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It is always changing and evolving. I have a huge extended family. I always cook a Thanksgiving meal at my house, it's been years since we've all gone any place else. Whomever is around, related or just friends, that isn't pouting about some imagined slight, is invited.

Christmas we switch around from year to year. Most years it's at the farm, but once in awhile one of my kids will want to do it at their house.

For us, it's just about spending time together, enjoying one another's company.

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RE: Holiday Traditions - 11/24/2008 9:21:12 AM

oceanwynds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RealSub58

I know that holidays mostly starting this time of the year can really weigh on the emotions of some people. This is not about our loneliness or aloneness on these holidays. I want to think positively cause I can dish out a lot of negative emotions and I don't want to ~~~ think positively.... but I am curious.I am going to use the word traditions to mean anything that is repeated year to year. 1.) Those without SO or close (as in distance) family, do you have any traditions of your have? With a specific group of friends?2.) Those without SO and you have family within 100 miles (or so), what traditions do you have?3.) Those with new SO and family (both those of his and yours), what will you do during the holidays? Have you met each other's family and will you try to fit in both places?4.) Those with SO of several years, have you come to a phase where you have your own traditions?5.) How many of you feel totally "scattered" with visiting family and wanting your own traditions? This question is for submissives who do not live with their D type.How long was it before you were included in his family for their traditions? Or he into yours. And do you have your own?

Hello Realsub
A new tradition has been formed since last year for Thanksgiving. I go to my daughter's for Thanksgiving. This also involves Sir, since he cat sits for my cat and takes me to the train station.

There is a tradition with Sir and me as well now, since the last 3 years I been putting up his Christmas tree and prepare his home to look all Christmasy. He really appreciates this, and has thanks me for bringing the spirit of christmas back to him.

With obligations with my family, Christmas is just spent with myself and a friend at the condo. My family is Jewish. Mom did her thing with her friends, so I learned to create my own holiday traditions. Three years ago, I got to spend Christmas with Sir and it was nice, but haven't been able to since then. He did come to see me last year for Christmas eve. This year, I have to pack Mom for her move out of state.

One thing I am grateful for is that my core being is basically optimistic and been told that I am contigous with good cheer around the holidays. If i end up alone without knowing anyone, have done that several times in my life, I will find something or do something that cheers me up.

I did get to met Sir's mother last year around Thanksgiving. Sir though tends to work during holidays and isnt able to get out. When I get back from my daughter's I usually make him his Thanksgiving dinner. This might be also a new tradition.
blessings
oceanwynds

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RE: Holiday Traditions - 11/24/2008 5:28:24 PM

MasterTslave

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I have been really lucky, my mother and Master T's mother are great friends and our dads get along well as well...we just do holidays together...we have started a tradition of inviting friends of ours that we know don't really have anyplace to go for the holidays (or don't have the money)...we have a great big party and include everyone...we even tell people that if they know anyone that needs a place to go, ask us. Is fun and nice thing to do.

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RE: Holiday Traditions - 11/25/2008 1:52:24 PM

tcl0712