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the treshold - 11/23/2008 3:58:05 PM

sobayblackmaster

Posts: 108
Joined: 11/16/2008
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anyone have an interesting story about resolving their struggle to move from being vanilla and desiring/fantasizing something more, to actualizing it and either asking for what you want or taking it? I struggled for months (perhaps years) before I "worked up the nerve" to begin approaching a potential sub about doing kinky things to her body.

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RE: the treshold - 11/23/2008 4:11:24 PM

kiwisub12

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heck - i am no good for you in the story department - once i discovered my submissionhood, i dived into CM, and within a month met my Sir and basically moved in with him. No hesitation, no angst (apart from the whole enjoying pain thing) and no looking back.

(in reply to sobayblackmaster)

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RE: the treshold - 11/23/2008 4:14:09 PM

persephonee

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i suppose i got all that out of the way in my 20s while coming to terms with my lesbianism...and frankly, im so old now, i dont even recall all that much struggle then...just happiness at being able to define a part of myself that defied definition before...felt the same way about this.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

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RE: the treshold - 11/23/2008 4:29:04 PM

sobayblackmaster

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lol. both wonderful and true stories. I honestly have no idea how long I hungered to do things to a woman's body that were edgy and aggressive. luckily some encounters along the way actually ended up seeing me ratcheting things up, you try something, check the response, if it's positive, then that's a green light to push yet a little harder.

(in reply to persephonee)

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RE: the treshold - 11/23/2008 4:34:51 PM

sexisubi

Posts: 373
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When i was younger i always thought of the damsel in distress thing as kinda hot... as time progressed and sex became a thought i started doing a lot of things by myself ice play, using belts, hair clips for nipple clamps... the little things... but i kept it a secret even from my bf of a year... there were times he questioned it... maybe a bruse that i left or why there were hair clips on his bed when i usually wear my hair down. After we broke up it was time for me to start a new chapter. When i got out of my last (same guy i was talking about before) vanilla relationship i started seeking someone who shared my intrests, I went on lots of dates by joined sites like this, and met my current Master. W/we met three years ago, and have been together now for almost 2 years... and i am glad he chose me.

(in reply to persephonee)

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RE: the treshold - 11/23/2008 4:39:19 PM

kiwisub12

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quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

i suppose i got all that out of the way in my 20s while coming to terms with my lesbianism...and frankly, im so old now, i dont even recall all that much struggle then...just happiness at being able to define a part of myself that defied definition before...felt the same way about this.

oh perse - you aren't old - you're seasoned! or mature. or aged. like a fine stilton cheese.

yum!

(in reply to persephonee)

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RE: the treshold - 11/23/2008 4:41:33 PM

persephonee

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But not of the stinky variety, i hope!

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

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RE: the treshold - 11/23/2008 5:16:57 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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No struggle here. But I'm not conflicted sexually. Hell, considering my background that's the last thing I would be.

Asked the ex if he would tie me up, I loved it but it made him feel bad so we didn't do it. Vanilla sex was satisfying as long as the relationship was good. I had no trouble getting by with fantasy and masturbation to get my needs met.

After the marriage ended though, I went looking for a bondage top. Found a lot more in him than just that.

My aha moment was discovering the word submissive. Things done in play are just that, things. They don't define me. But finding out there's a word for people like me, who naturally defer, that was enormously helpful. As was discovering that there are men who really like this in their women, and more importantly appreciate it.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 11/23/2008 5:59:25 PM >

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RE: the treshold - 11/23/2008 5:39:41 PM

everhope

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i was 45 and i didn't struggle.. i felt relieved as if the missing puzzle piece had been found. it was aha moment!
i hit the ground running seeking out those who had actual life experience in living in a D/s or M/s dynamic. oh and all the kink too.

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We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.

(in reply to DesFIP)

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