Joining the community

Joining the community (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

trealeon -> Joining the community (11/25/2008 4:55:11 PM)
One of the reasons why I joined collarme is that though I've been in the Dom/sub lifestyle for about 7 years now and have had multiple slaves and trained many others, I don't feel like I know anything beyond my own experiences. (For instance I don't know what half of the abbreviations and acronyms that are used in the forum mean lol). I know that within several months, my current slave will be 24/7, living with me, and there is a strong possibility that there may be a second one with me as well (though that is still being worked out). I've had a 24/7 slave a while ago almost at the beginning of my experience with Dom/sub relationships but after that one ended, I haven't had another potential 24/7 slave until now. I think that one of the things that will help me and my slave(s) is communication and interaction with others in the community so that we can learn and grow but also make friends that will understand the unique lifestyle we choose to live. I have heard that there are groups or meetings of people in the BDSM community but have never found anything like that in my area (Richmond, VA). I've also heard that there are things like conventions and such, but know nothing about them or which might be right for us. Does anyone know of how I could really link us into to the community, especially specifically the community in my area of Virginia (if anyone is from here). I have tried searching online but I'm either looking for the wrong thing or looking in the wrong way. I know that with CollarMe's profile section I can find and talk to people in my area, but I didn't want to just start randomly messaging people either. I'd like to first see if there were some places around that we could go, meet up with others in the lifestyle in a group setting. In addition, what types of conventions or larger gatherings are out there, and where do you suggest I go on the web to find out more and really link us into the community? In addition, I'd really like to find our "niche" in the BDSM community. I'm sure there are others like us. I think we're actually fairly tame on the physical/sexual aspects of BDSM. Only light bondage, whipping, some tying up, clamps, etc. (and a lot of exhibitionism and public play) but extremely heavy on the mental/psychological/obedience aspects between Master and slave. Also with my current slave it is definitely a "daddy/little girl" relationship. I don't think it would do us much good find a local group who are heavy into things like dungeon play and torture devices because that's not us. So I'm not only trying to link us into the community but into the part that matches us as well, so we "fit in".

ResidentSadist -> RE: Joining the community (11/25/2008 5:37:27 PM)
I went through some of my old webmaster resources and dug these up. I checked all the links to see if they are current, the info was 3 years old. I have included Hampton Roads links since it is just over an hour away from you. I excluded the Arlington & Charlottesville links because it is over 3 hours away. Release Of Virginia Richmond BDSM Group yahoo group Virginia_BDSM - 9 messages past 7 days Phyxios Mystique - Central VA yahoo group CUFF-CvilleBDSM - 8 messages past 7 days yahoo group TIED - Hampton Roads - 5 messages past 7 days yahoo group VirginiaBDSM_TPE_Personals - Activity within 7 days:1 New Member - 2 New Links - 45 New Messages yahoo group East_Coast_BDSM - Activity within 7 days:2 New Members - 34 New Messages yahoo group novaspankingenthusiasts Activity within 7 days:4 New Members - 17 New Messages Anyway, you get the idea. Search your yahoo groups for more.

trealeon -> RE: Joining the community (11/25/2008 5:54:40 PM)
I didn't think to check yahoo groups. Unfortunately both "Release of Virginia" and Phyxious Mystique require you to be 21 to join. "Release" states that's the "age of legal consent". My slave is 18 so that excludes us... more importantly though is there something I don't know about age of consent laws? Or are they just referring to the drinking age?

Rover -> RE: Joining the community (11/25/2008 6:13:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: trealeon One of the reasons why I joined collarme is that though I've been in the Dom/sub lifestyle for about 7 years now and have had multiple slaves and trained many others, I don't feel like I know anything beyond my own experiences. (For instance I don't know what half of the abbreviations and acronyms that are used in the forum mean lol). I know it will be tempting to view this as confrontational, but I assure you it's not. Just a sincere question... On what basis were you "training" anyone? What were you "training" them to do? John

Rover -> RE: Joining the community (11/25/2008 6:19:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: trealeon I didn't think to check yahoo groups. Unfortunately both "Release of Virginia" and Phyxious Mystique require you to be 21 to join. "Release" states that's the "age of legal consent". My slave is 18 so that excludes us... more importantly though is there something I don't know about age of consent laws? Or are they just referring to the drinking age? The age of consent in Virginia is (evidently) not very clear. It is alternatively 18 or 15, depending upon how one interprets the very poorly written state law. But it seems as though the Virginia Court of Appeals has settled on 18: http://newyorklawschool.typepad.com/leonardlink/2006/06/virginia_appeal.html Either way, your girl is above the age of consent if she is 18. Now you just have to avoid the sodomy prohibitions against oral and anal sex. John

trealeon -> RE: Joining the community (11/25/2008 6:41:38 PM)
There was a point when I was younger (not that I'm that old now) that I was not interested in having any sort of relationship (BDSM, vanilla or otherwise) but girls that knew me and one of my previous submissives, knew that I was a good Dom (according to my previous sub). So they came to me wanting to be a sub or slave. When I said I wasn't interested in taking on a sub or slave for myself, they asked me to "train" them in specific things like serving/protocols/mindset changes and especially public play / exhibitionism.I never really considered these girls "my" subs just girls that I trained, kind of like a trainer in a gym (probably a horrible analogy but all I can think of). Sometimes I was even able to introduce them to other Doms and they entered into relationships with them. I also had a few Doms come to me to train their subs , but I only did that a couple of times before stopping. Though both experiences were positive for the doms and slaves involved, I realized that it could cause problems in relationships if I wasn't careful. This was all before I moved to where I am now. I haven't done it since. Hope that works as an explanation.

trealeon -> RE: Joining the community (11/25/2008 6:42:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rover quote: ORIGINAL: trealeon I didn't think to check yahoo groups. Unfortunately both "Release of Virginia" and Phyxious Mystique require you to be 21 to join. "Release" states that's the "age of legal consent". My slave is 18 so that excludes us... more importantly though is there something I don't know about age of consent laws? Or are they just referring to the drinking age? The age of consent in Virginia is (evidently) not very clear. It is alternatively 18 or 15, depending upon how one interprets the very poorly written state law. But it seems as though the Virginia Court of Appeals has settled on 18: http://newyorklawschool.typepad.com/leonardlink/2006/06/virginia_appeal.html Either way, your girl is above the age of consent if she is 18. Now you just have to avoid the sodomy prohibitions against oral and anal sex. John Why then do you think these groups have a 21+ restriction?

UmbraDomina -> RE: Joining the community (11/25/2008 7:40:17 PM)
ok, I just have to ask............ you state you have no dealings with or know of any type of the community or public play parties but you state you trained girls in public play? 2+2 = 5 ?

Rover -> RE: Joining the community (11/25/2008 8:12:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: trealeon Why then do you think these groups have a 21+ restriction? To know specifically, you'll have to ask them. But it could be that they either serve, or allow, alcohol and don't want to give the local authorities a reason to come nosing around because someone under the legal drinking age is there. John

trealeon -> RE: Joining the community (11/25/2008 8:18:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina ok, I just have to ask............ you state you have no dealings with or know of any type of the community or public play parties but you state you trained girls in public play? 2+2 = 5 ? I've moved since my days of training as I said in the above post. But no I don't have any real connection or dealings with any sort of community or group or public play parties (never even heard of that). I have always enjoyed sexual activity in public places and exhibitionism and I think I just had a natural talent for that and am always finding new ways to experiment. That's why I felt comfortable teaching others. When I ventured into this it was basically on my own. I had some friends who were into BDSM where I used to live up in New York but even then, it wasn't like there was group that I went to or any sort of "community" activities or conventions. Now that I'm down here in Richmond, VA... I don't even have the friends I used to have from then, we've since grown apart, and I am still unfamiliar with things like conventions or other things of that nature. Does that clarify things?

trealeon -> RE: Joining the community (11/26/2008 12:10:49 AM)
For some reason I can't edit my existing posts... so I need to add another one. Just to get back to my original question (not that i mind answering personal questions about me). If there aren't any more suggestions about local groups, could I get further insight about conventions or more national gatherings... I've seen in a few posts people mention them, but not really by name or anything I could find. Also UmbraDomina mentioned public play parties and that's a concept I don't really know anything about (although I think I can hazard a guess). Thanks.

MmeGigs -> RE: Joining the community (11/26/2008 4:40:22 AM)
You'll find more info on local groups here - http://www.drkdesyre.com/ There seems to be quite a bit going on in your area. Play parties are just what they sound like. A kinky group gets some space, sets up a bunch of dungeon furniture, and people come and play.

azropedntied -> RE: Joining the community (11/26/2008 8:10:26 AM)
If your of that age groups look to see if there is a chapter of TnG " the next generation " they are a younger bdsm group and have chapters popping up everywhere .If you do not have one start one .Younger people and yes i sound like a old caveman when i say this ,do not know how it used to be .We all used to buy bdsm newspapers and magazines with paid personal ad's and drive or fly to attend meetings gathering and parties .Us kinksters really do have it very good these days and in these times the far reaching community is vast and much more attainable in comparison . good luck with your search .

trealeon -> RE: Joining the community (11/26/2008 8:24:48 AM)
Yes we are definitely in that age group... I'll take a look. I also just noticed (and obviously I hadn't been paying too close attention) That there is a forum called "Upcoming Events" right at the top of the list. I just skipped right over it thinking it had to do with upcoming events on the website but then I actually stopped to read the description (and you know... I always complain about people not reading and here I am not reading). So that forum is helpful too. I am going to see about us going to a New Year's eve party I found in there. Sounds like fun.

SlaveSimone -> RE: Joining the community (11/26/2008 10:29:00 AM)
I'm under 21 and I'll tell you what, you're probably going to have a heck of a time getting into conventions or dungeons for the most part. The most I've been able to do is attend private play parties and munches. I was able to get in Thunder in the mountains, which is one of the conventions that happens here in Denver every year, but that was with special permission from the owner. As I understand and have experienced it, there just aren't many clubs or dungeons that allow any one under the age of 21.Your best bet would probably be to be looking for local munches, or other groups that meet privately. Good luck, Simone

SingleRarity -> RE: Joining the community (11/26/2008 10:58:12 AM)
You've had some excellent advice, but I just wanted to add one thing. You said something about finding people and groups that are "like you". You'll never find people that operate or play just like you and yours. That's what so great about BDsM, there's lots of flavors to enjoy. If you can't deal with that than you probably won't have very good experiences publicly. Just sayin'..... Daddy's Ballerina, e

trealeon -> RE: Joining the community (11/26/2008 1:12:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SingleRarity You've had some excellent advice, but I just wanted to add one thing. You said something about finding people and groups that are "like you". You'll never find people that operate or play just like you and yours. That's what so great about BDsM, there's lots of flavors to enjoy. If you can't deal with that than you probably won't have very good experiences publicly. Just sayin'..... Daddy's Ballerina, e Oh I understand that.. I just meant for example since Kira and I have a Daddy/little girl relationship, finding others who have that type or similiar relationship would be great as far as other couples to hang out with. I completely understand everyone's different. I just thought it would be awkward since we're not into dungeon play, to go to a group or play party that is heavy into that or that is their focus. We wouldn't fit in as well. Hope that makes since.

SingleRarity -> RE: Joining the community (11/26/2008 1:14:44 PM)
You may want to check out fetlife. They have a ton of active Daddy/lg groups and often post about ageplay specific munches and such. Daddy's Ballerina, e

Page: [1]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875