RE: Satiation? (Full Version)

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boytroy -> RE: Satiation? (11/28/2008 8:51:39 AM)

I am most impressed with the responses received – the advice is terrific and the answers are well expressed.  Many of these responses are heartfelt and certainly force me to look deeper into myself and my relationship.  The general opinion is what I feared – that satiation is unachievable thru short infrequent experiments with reality.  What I need to ask myself is: how far am I willing to experiment and still keep a life-line with my family?  For that matter, even putting myself out there is not likely to result in anyone taking an interest; so the exercise would be a mute effort anyway.  

I only wish that there were filtering mechanisms available when I was young and I would have a more compatible relationship.  You internet generation are damn lucky!  I knew I had this kink then, but it wasn’t something that you breach early in a relationship.  With that said my wife back then seemed willing to play along.  Time travel to now and we have children and no sex at all because my ‘kink’ is disgusting to her even though I have constantly tried to temper the ‘kink’. Even something as tame as forced nudity in the bedroom is too weird for her.

This is my weakness but it seems to be the only way I can get aroused.  I love my wife, but she is much heavier than I am and try as I might – I cannot ‘rise to the occasion’ thru vanilla sex but I can if she is willing to be a bit dominant.  But, since she is unwilling to do so and has no interest to even try (and yes, I have asked her to read some of these therapy books) I am feeling more and more resentment which makes me feel even more guilty.  I know a good slave does what their mistress wants, but it does not work when your mistress does not want to be a mistress and the suffering of abstinence is in vain.

Sorry, this turned into a rant.  My hope was that experimenting would be a ‘cure’ that would vent the lust without costing me a relationship.  I am still hoping for a compromise and since I do have a bit of ‘rope’ to experiment a bit - I have not lost hope yet.  Thanks again for the advice and please add any more that you may have…



CalifChick -> RE: Satiation? (11/28/2008 9:01:49 AM)

There are indeed some women who are content with their marriage without any type of sexual activity.  They are with someone they love, they've been with a long time, and they have the security, friendship, whatever-it-is, that they want and need.

And indeed some of those women are accepting of their husbands getting their physical needs met elsewhere, and it's usually when it is discreet and not thrown in their face, no drama, no girls calling the house or showing up, etc. 

So you have to figure out how much rope you have, and how to use it wisely so that you don't end up hanging yourself.  You may find that just the physical and BDSM play is not enough, that you need it full time.  Or you may find that it satisfies your yearnings.

In any case, I wish you to find peace.


Cali



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