RE: a first (Full Version)

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eyesopened -> RE: a first (11/29/2008 3:56:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: frenchbitchchris

Wait wait... Limits are your goals? That's disgusting man. How can anyone trust you if you aim to break their trust. Sure, Owners are going to try and push their slave's limits but to go out of your way to crush those limits that they have set for themselves is not only disrespectful to one who is dedicating their life to you but completely precipitous. These are people's lives. It's not some game.

You, Sir mistaken your haughty nature for being Dominant. [:@]

--french bitch--

quote:

ORIGINAL: Violation

I am as my name says, a violator.  Limits ARE my goal, to move, and even reshape limits into fetishes.  It is not something to take lightly and without skill, both in the art and in the mechanics as it invites great unhappiness and drama.  Like wit, I do not use women who are unarmed, there is no sport in it.  Soft and pliable women do not arouse me, I need strength and power in them to tear down and strew about like wreckage.

To violate a limit, one must know the emotional path you are going to lead someone on to get them to a place of readiness for violation and one must know how to walk them through to a safe place on the other side.  Sometimes the violation may seem sudden for them but you have been slowly shaping them, eroticising elements of it to play with in their mind as an emotional bridge over the chasm.  No matter how far you debase her, turn her into a piece of unworthy flesh, you must have the strength to reach down into that black hole you shoved her into and pull her back into the light.  Every element in this is unique, far more so than other things and so metaphors rather than rules must be your guide. 

When are you ready to do this?  Not when drama and hurt rule the relationship but instead when bliss and happiness envelop you.  Like having a baby to "save" a relationship, play on this level will destroy an unstable one more often than not.  One must learn to respect boundaries, to make a partner know at their core, that she will get through to the other side, because you have shown her through actions and deeds over and over again that she is safer with you, emotionally, physically and romantically that she is actually safe and secure in your care.  This is the reward for a good relationship, not the path to creating one.



That's just because so many folks define "limits" as particular activities rather than by results or consequences.  For example someone might say golden showers is a limit, when perhaps the real limit is the perceived humiliation or perceived health threat.  But then a lot of people base their relationships on activities.  Without knowing the definitions of others, it's really difficult to give constructive advice.




NorthernGent -> RE: a first (11/29/2008 4:06:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirslittleredass

today was th first time my Sir ever  really pushed a soft boundary. 



Was it in the rules? If so, no problem. If not, then what's next?

People need security, and that's engendered through the other partner being good for his word, and you knowing that the rules aren't going to change on a wing and a prayer.




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