Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Young Domme with a much older sub


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Young Domme with a much older sub Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Young Domme with a much older sub - 11/28/2008 3:06:28 PM   
sweetdarknes69


Posts: 4
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline 		I wanted to ask a question to the Dom/Domme who are much younger than their submissive/slaves....when you are in public what kind of reactions do people give to you if they see you (a much younger person) acting in an authoritative/dominating  way to your submissive(much older)? I am a Domme in this type of relationship with My lil boi and it seems that we get alot of dissaproving stares considering I am 20 and he is 48...I also believe it has somthing to do with the fact that I am a black female and he is a white male....

_____________________________

Princess........you should be asking Me....no begging Me.....for the privilege of My company....now face down....ass up.....I own you....
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Young Domme with a much older sub - 11/28/2008 3:35:18 PM   
sexisubi


Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline 		i can only say this....

F them if you're happy... yes people will look, yes they might not like it, but if you're happy who cares. If for any reason it's a small town they should get over as soon as bob beats his wife again.

(in reply to sweetdarknes69)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Young Domme with a much older sub - 11/28/2008 5:01:22 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Yeah, I have to agree with sexisubi.  We all have some reason to expect reasonable compromise in society.  I get it that taking my wife out in a body harness, bit, and leash is probably not really fair to my neighbors.  So I compromise and don't do such things.  But the flip side is also true.  Simply "acting in an authoritative" manner cannot reasonably be considered imposing your lifestyle choice on strangers.  So let them deal or not as they see fit.  I boss my wife around in public.  I'm sure I must've gotten a look or two from some radical feminist somewhere but I really don't care.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to sexisubi)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Young Domme with a much older sub - 11/28/2008 6:20:29 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		It could be a combination of the color and the age.  I find I tend to stare at couples where the woman is much younger than the man.  I'm not prejudiced - just curious.  My Master and I are a mixed race couple but in the city where we live it is common to see that.  My white father married my black stepmother 27 years ago and things have changed a lot for them since then.  They used to get a lot of stares and some rude comments.  Now people barely act like they notice.

_____________________________



(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Young Domme with a much older sub - 11/28/2008 11:10:31 PM   
Araven


Posts: 149
Joined: 3/16/2006
Status: offline 		Most people don't understand or can't comprehend. Especially depending on where you live. If you guys are happy is what matters. I wouldn't worry about what other people think. 

_____________________________

beloved pet of Mistress Joy (JoyfulMistress)

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Young Domme with a much older sub - 11/29/2008 3:30:04 PM   
MistresseLotus


Posts: 443
Joined: 9/19/2008
From: (aka LotusSong)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetdarknes69

I wanted to ask a question to the Dom/Domme who are much younger than their submissive/slaves....when you are in public what kind of reactions do people give to you if they see you (a much younger person) acting in an authoritative/dominating  way to your submissive(much older)? I am a Domme in this type of relationship with My lil boi and it seems that we get alot of dissaproving stares considering I am 20 and he is 48...I also believe it has somthing to do with the fact that I am a black female and he is a white male....


When in public, just tone it down and be descrete.  What you do should not be imposed on the general public.  It's your gig..not anyone elses.  If you insist, then take your lumps.

< Message edited by MistresseLotus -- 11/29/2008 3:31:50 PM >

_____________________________

I leave it to the 20-somethings to do the "open-minded, total unconditional acceptance thing" for it's how THEY learn that all the things others older than they have deemed BS, are in fact BS. What a waste of a decade.

(in reply to sweetdarknes69)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Young Domme with a much older sub - 11/29/2008 5:29:44 PM   
NoFury


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/28/2008
Status: offline 		So in most places in the U.S. it's not that common to see a young, beautiful black woman with a significantly older white man. Yeah, you're going to draw attention.  Perhaps you could learn to absolutely relish the attention you recieve, or perhaps you could learn to ignore it.  But, if YOU'RE made uncomfortable by people's responses, then you may want to edit your behavior a bit. Would you be comfortable and happy if you were a bit more subtle?  I'm not trying to imply that your behavior has been outrageous -- I certainly have no way of knowing, but it doesn't sound like it has been.  You may want to consider things like taking his wallet before you go out, or just as matter of factly as I know you can, make sure that YOU order for him when the waiter comes to the table, practice the art of the ice stare or leaning in close to him and whispering, "Oh, that's going to cost you, boi!" 

(in reply to MistresseLotus)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Young Domme with a much older sub - 11/29/2008 5:47:13 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		And I am bettin`, as well...the fact that your a black female and he is an older white...man...
 
yep...
 
Screw `em...

(in reply to sweetdarknes69)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Young Domme with a much older sub - 11/30/2008 10:14:52 PM   
sweetdarknes69


Posts: 4
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you for the compliment...you are very beautiful yourself from what I can see....Oh you have no idea...I am from a small town in South Carolina so its very uncommon...From the time I began dating I have only been in interracial relationships so I am use to the stares from that part...I love what you said and I do believe I am going to have to start enjoying the looks and stares and whispers....and you were right I haven't been doing anything that would be considered out of place or too wild...except one time I made him kneel by the dinner table at a restaurant and eat only what I placed in his mouth but we had a private boot and the only person who saw was out waitress  and she got a kick out of it....other than that its mostly been me telling him what to do....thanks for the advice!

_____________________________

Princess........you should be asking Me....no begging Me.....for the privilege of My company....now face down....ass up.....I own you....

(in reply to NoFury)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Young Domme with a much older sub - 12/1/2008 4:55:35 AM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		sweetdarkness69:

I grew up in a small town in SC. So, I totally understand. In high school my boyfriend was black and man...the hell we got over it from the town, but we didnt care! Mostly we made fun of it. LOL! He would follow me around stores a few feet behind me and call me Master and talk like how blacks did in the early movies.  I'd almost want to die from laughing. I would wear my rebel flag shirt when I went out with him and then I'd kiss in him public while it was on. Ha....now that got a whole different kind of stare. We figured if people were going to look we would give them a reason...granted we were young teens pissed that the world thought we were doing something wrong.

Sir and I have 24 yrs apart and we get stares, but mostly older men smiling at Sir. LOL! Sad to say I'm sure its a race thing for you. Try to not let it affect you two. No one has to live your life, but yourself.

(in reply to sweetdarknes69)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Young Domme with a much older sub - 12/1/2008 12:44:20 PM   
malloves69


Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		i am 51 ..gawd dont feel like 51 ...maybe 40 but not 51  just wondering what you 2 can have in common with such a big age difference ? heck your young enough to be my daughter  just my preference of course but i would rather be with a older dominant woman because of the age factor and the experience factor ..kinda suxs when the bottom knows more then the top my opinion of course ..good luck in your relationship ...i couldnt see myself submitting to a younger lady of 20 unless we really hit it off well ..have fun mal

(in reply to Sandyshores29718)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Young Domme with a much older sub - 12/1/2008 1:37:23 PM   
Coupleofwhats


Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		People tend to stare at obvious couples that have an age gap.
(By "obvious," I mean, you can't be mistaken for a parent and child or some other innocuous pairing.)

Two of my exes were white men in their 40s: I was Switchier in those days, so they took the brunt of the disapproving looks. My advice is to throw the starers a wink.

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm6JgZ35w8w

(in reply to malloves69)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Young Domme with a much older sub - 12/1/2008 5:19:35 PM   
SirJeremy


Posts: 7
Joined: 11/27/2008
Status: offline 		I was in a similar situation about 12 years ago... the real question is whether the stares bother you - and if they do, then there might be a lot of things for you to reconsider about the life you have chosen.  Remember always that You are the only one living Your life... That being said, you could be grabbing stares for any number of reason - age gap, race difference, power exchange ect... somebody will always have a reason to stare at you - that can be good, bad, or indifferent - but the choice is always yours.   

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Young Domme with a much older sub - 12/1/2008 5:25:40 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		Fox and I are 10 years separated, and we get stares as well. Part of it is simply you acting in an authoritative manner to someone. Younger or older, the public sees it as a henpecked man, not a submissive. They have no idea he is happy in the situation, just that you are being controlling. I wouldnt worry too much about it, their opinions dont have any real impact on your life anyway.
For us, people stare, and occasionally I overhear comments. Being the person I am though, I will often whisper back just as "quietly" about how nice it would be if some people minded their own business and focused more on their own issues and less on those of people they didnt know.

DV


_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss



(in reply to SirJeremy)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Young Domme with a much older sub - 12/1/2008 5:36:19 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Adding to the voices of: if y'all are happy, that's what matters. 
As far as 'imposing lifestyle'on others, I have a bit of a different perspective.  You're 20, so you missed the fashion era of which I am about to speak (Or were too young to participate truly), so bear with me: I grew up in the 80's and in my middle/latter teens, I took immense glee in offending people with my teased hair, spandex pants, heavy metal t-shirts, tall boots, garrish make-up, lots of metal accessories, etc. 
I've become comfortable with myself and don't make a standard point of being visually off-putting to people these days but I'm as comfortable in a business suit as I am half-naked in a goth schoolgirl outfit (As I was wearing this weekend!); I believe it has to do with self-posession and confidence. 
My point in discussing fashion is that some have suggested you guys 'tone it down'.  I wouldn't necessarily encourage that, nor would I mention you take my spandex-clad in-your-face approach.  Be yourselves; be who you are.  I'm guessing you're not flogging him in the middle of Gymboree or Chuck-e-Cheese, so I say don't sweat it!  People need to get a grip that there are variations out there and what better way than seeing people behaving respectfully and genuinely with one another, even when dynamics are involved: Afterall, wiitwd is okay!  :> 
Best wishes, 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to SirJeremy)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Young Domme with a much older sub - 12/2/2008 4:40:43 AM   
hellfarmer


Posts: 6
Joined: 11/26/2008
Status: offline 		As foxxy as you are my guess is at least some of the stares are from people wishing it were them. But mostly I imagine its the age thing, they just see a young girl being disrespectful to an elder and him taking it. But who cares what anyone else thinks? do what pleases the two of you.

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Young Domme with a much older sub - 12/6/2008 5:20:53 PM   
Subversed


Posts: 52
Joined: 8/17/2008
Status: offline 		it wouldn't bother me irl to see- but i'm sort of on the side of not doing anything outwardly evident of orientation in public.

(in reply to hellfarmer)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Young Domme with a much older sub - 12/6/2008 7:10:28 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		Hi.

We train and own slaves of all ages and we're Mistresses of a wide range of ages ourselves so this is something we're used to. Not sure if it's the age why people stare but it's maybe they can tell your domme. Saw a young domme today who was shopping with her older slave and he was carrying all her packages and behaving all sub. More people are shocked over women being dominant than age or racial difference. Do whatever you want (if it's safe, sane and consential) and don't worry what others think. It's your life not theirs.

Hope this helps.

_____________________________

Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to sweetdarknes69)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Young Domme with a much older sub - 12/6/2008 8:32:09 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		Oh Snap another age question lol


(in reply to AcademyForSlaves)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Young Domme with a much older sub - 12/6/2008 9:04:28 PM   
bluepanda


Posts: 328
Joined: 12/12/2005
Status: offline 		My ex was 15 years younger than I, and we did indeed get a few curious looks and raised eyebrows when we were out in public from time to time. I wouldn't say that we were overtly "in character" when we were out and about, but given the fact that we were 24/7 with fairly strict protocols, I guess the reality was that we were never really "out of character" even when we were trying to be discreet. Some things just stood out, and people often did seem to notice. We both just learned to let it roll off our backs. We lived in our own world, and those people were just passing by it, not really a part of it. Fuck 'em. 

_____________________________

Panda, Panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Young Domme with a much older sub Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.141