Mental Blocks Without Trauma?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Mental Blocks Without Trauma?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Mental Blocks Without Trauma?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Mental Blocks Without Trauma? - 11/30/2008 7:55:08 PM

JadetheBoheme

Posts: 16
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline

I've been very curious about a small problem I've been having issues with piercing, needle play and staple scenes. I'm not afraid of needles and certainly love sharp objects, but I've been having trouble during these scenes. They aren't hard limits for me and I love the effect they give for pictures 'n stuff, but they aren't very sexual or spiritual for me either, just for aesthetics and fun. The problem is, the needles really do hurt (in an unpleasant way) no matter how skilled or gentle my friends (who I trust) work - and I'm a fairly big masochist. When I get staplework done, it's the same effect - I was so terrified during their removal that I started to cry in a bad way and had to be calmed down by two of my friends during the procedure. None of this makes sense because I've had staples before (from surgery) that never bothered me at all. And none of my piercings (ears, nipples, belly button) ever hurt at all when I got them done... nor have my tattoos. As well, another Dom friend put a needle in me (for demonstration) and it didn't hurt at all, just felt nice, actually. I can't remember having any traumatic events with these items, nor am I afraid of pain... I've also had normal, relaxed reactions to these items outside of scenes... plus, I trust my scene partners - they're my good and dear friends- so what's going on? Has anyone else ever had this issue before? How can I overcome it?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Mental Blocks Without Trauma? - 11/30/2008 7:58:42 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Well the difference may be the context, atmosphere and permanence of your piercings and tats. Were they done in a public display to be recorded and used for other peoples hotness? Were you allowed to choose the piercings and tats as a symbol of yourself? Perhaps when there's a real deep purpose behind the pain, it binds itself to you differently.

Or maybe not, we're fucked up creatures.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to JadetheBoheme)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Mental Blocks Without Trauma? - 11/30/2008 8:05:00 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

What state of mind were you in when you had bad experiences? What state of mind were you in when you had good experiences?

Not just at the moment that the piercings were taking place, but in the hours or days before? The mind and the ways in which it experiences and processes stimuli can vary greatly from day to day. Looking back, can you remember what was going on in your life at those times? Going forward, can you be more mindful of the differences in your state of mind from day to day and be aware of your reactions so that you have a better idea of what you can withstand in regard?

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to JadetheBoheme)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Mental Blocks Without Trauma? - 11/30/2008 8:33:09 PM

JadetheBoheme

Posts: 16
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline

I know I get really nervous before those kinds of scenes, kind of like a child does when they're waiting to get a shot - or even grown people waiting to go on a scary carnival ride. I just don't know why it happens. I just freak out and can't take the pain into pleasure. I want to know what makes me get all worked up. I know it isn't the environment 'cuz I've done some really intense, personal scenes in the same environment. And I'm always in a chipper/ecited mood right before I actually enter the dungeon for the scene. It's when I sit down and get ready....

(in reply to yourMissTress)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Mental Blocks Without Trauma? - 11/30/2008 10:45:30 PM

porcelain26

Posts: 181
Joined: 11/16/2007
Status: offline

It sounds to me like the difference is your ability to remove yourself from the procedure. When you're in the scene, you're very present and it's a different means of processing the sensations, interacting with the dominant etc. When you're doing something to yourself (getting tats or piercings), it's easier to be removed from what's happening...same thing with having the staples removed after surgery. I'm not sure what your relationship is with your piercer or tattoo artist, but I doubt you see them as being your dominant...same with the person who removed the staples after surgery.

It doesn't seem likely that it's a pain you can't deal with, or anything like that, it's just a scene experience that takes you to an emotionally vulnerable place, and it's very difficult for you to process that. This might be one of those activities that you need to be really, really careful playing with in terms of who's doing it, where it's being done, etc. Or it might be something you find is just not a good fit for you in terms of play.

That's my two cents worth anyway.

(in reply to JadetheBoheme)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Mental Blocks Without Trauma? - 11/30/2008 11:45:11 PM

JadetheBoheme

Posts: 16
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline

That makes a lot of sense! Thank you so much!

(in reply to porcelain26)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Mental Blocks Without Trauma? - 12/1/2008 2:11:57 AM

porcelain26