RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship. (Full Version)

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IrishMist -> RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship. (12/1/2008 2:51:46 PM)

quote:

My question to all the submissives out there, what are some of your reasons for wanting or needing a D/s relationship?

Pretty simple for me. I NEED  to be in  a relationship that is control based... it's what I thrive in.



DavanKael -> RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship. (12/1/2008 3:05:30 PM)

It is an aspect of who I am.  I desire to be with a partner who I accept fully and who accepts me fully; there is much more to that than those simple few words.  Power dynamics, in my lexicon, are a part of this. 
  Davan



veryniel -> RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship. (12/1/2008 3:12:05 PM)

As others have answered here, it is simply who I am. I am naturally submissive, and I need a man to dominate me. But this is not a simple sexual thing with me. For me without love there is nothing. I need to be able to love my Master and be loved in return. I must be His alone, and He must be mine alone. I could never last with a Master who would take more than one slave. I am Master's property, but I must also be the woman He loves, the only one. I am infinitely thankful to have found such a Master. [:)]



oceanwynds -> RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship. (12/1/2008 3:35:04 PM)

The biggest need within me is serving. D/s is still new to me, so i am not totally sure what i want to get out of a Ds relationship. There are similarites of what was in my marriage, trust and respect on both parts. Those are needed for me in any relationship. Letting go of the me me attitude is very rewarding to me on an emotional and mental level.

oceanwynds



Lordandmaster -> RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship. (12/1/2008 3:35:35 PM)

The attraction of d/s for me is that I love s.



NuevaVida -> RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship. (12/1/2008 6:14:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
The only way to achieve that is to go into wanting and expecting nothing but a shared experience. Managing to get something good, with that neutral expectation, even a minor 'good' becomes a pleasant surprise. Going into the same experience with the focus on high expectations about what you want out of it and the same result could produce disappointment. 



I love this, and this has become my new approach to life in general. I am open to possibilities of shared experiences with people. When I began talking to the person I'm seeing now, I was fraught with stress about where it might go, how it should be, if I was ready for a relationship...blah blah blah. And then one day I decided to live in the present, and just enjoy the now. If things continue to progress forward - cool. If not, then this has been a wonderful and short shared experience. That mindset let such a load off - no more stressing or fretting about things, just living and enjoying. No need for definitions, or to "prove myself" or to have a game plan or to worry about the future. Just be in the present, and be open. It's a new way of thinking for me, and seems to be working quite well.



hallieB -> RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship. (12/1/2008 6:37:19 PM)

I can tell you exactly what my attraction is: It is the love, respect, honesty, self control, total commentment to the person you are with. I am very familiar with men who would lie, cheat, humiliate and deceive you no matter what you would do for them. They would destroy your heart and walk all over it and never think twice. Leaving you to look like a complete fool. Men who would jeopardize their marriages, their children, their homes just for another piece of pussy. When I meet my Master i was reluctant to give him my heart. I felt as if he not only wanted what the vanilla men wanted but he wanted me to sell my soul as well. ( LOL ). After many discussions about trust and honesty, after he showed me that its not the act that usually destroys people and their relationships its the lies and deceipt. If your man came to you and said I have a fantasy or a kink that I want to fullfill.... omg.... that for me was the turning point. If you have trust, honesty and mutual respect and would not jeopardize or hurt your partner in any way. What more can anyone ask for.... I know I will always be his top priority and in return I will submit to him with very few limits if any. To sum it all up I guess I just want to be priority. I want to be loved and cared for above all else. I like the fact that we will discuss anything, no secrets, no lies, there is no reason for them. I trust him completely. Sex is a bonus and I will give myself to him willingly and completely.



Maya2001 -> RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship. (12/1/2008 9:10:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
A common denominator of people not in relationships is that what they "want out" of them keeps them out of them. The only way for the cumulative value to exceed the individual total is to not have a 'zero sum' game in mind going of what you are getting out of it equal, or exceeding, what you bring into it. The only way to achieve that is to go into wanting and expecting nothing but a shared experience. Managing to get something good, with that neutral expectation, even a minor 'good' becomes a pleasant surprise. Going into the same experience with the focus on high expectations about what you want out of it and the same result could produce disappointment. 

Until in a relationship, it is all about you. Once in a relationship or attempting to get into one, it becomes all about the relationship; not what you can get out of it, but what you, and a partner, are willing to put in. Success, or failure, is a joint effort. What you "want out" of it better be referencing the plural form of 'you'.
Applause for this.  This post has gotta be the swiss-army knife of relationship advice... good for almost any problem.

Another round of applause here... I always found myself stumbling over my tongue when I would be asked the question of what "I" want out of the relationship



SlaveBlutarsky -> RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship. (12/2/2008 10:42:44 PM)

I'm a very simple person, I just want to have the perfect American Dream type relationship, except with a dungeon in the basement of the white picket fence house. 



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