RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship.

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship.

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship.

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship. - 12/1/2008 2:51:46 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

My question to all the submissives out there, what are some of your reasons for wanting or needing a D/s relationship?

Pretty simple for me. I NEED to be in a relationship that is control based... it's what I thrive in.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to DogGoneBad)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship. - 12/1/2008 3:05:30 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

It is an aspect of who I am. I desire to be with a partner who I accept fully and who accepts me fully; there is much more to that than those simple few words. Power dynamics, in my lexicon, are a part of this.
Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to IrishMist)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship. - 12/1/2008 3:12:05 PM

veryniel

Posts: 13
Joined: 11/26/2008
Status: offline

As others have answered here, it is simply who I am. I am naturally submissive, and I need a man to dominate me. But this is not a simple sexual thing with me. For me without love there is nothing. I need to be able to love my Master and be loved in return. I must be His alone, and He must be mine alone. I could never last with a Master who would take more than one slave. I am Master's property, but I must also be the woman He loves, the only one. I am infinitely thankful to have found such a Master.

(in reply to DavanKael)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship. - 12/1/2008 3:35:04 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

The biggest need within me is serving. D/s is still new to me, so i am not totally sure what i want to get out of a Ds relationship. There are similarites of what was in my marriage, trust and respect on both parts. Those are needed for me in any relationship. Letting go of the me me attitude is very rewarding to me on an emotional and mental level.

oceanwynds

(in reply to veryniel)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship. - 12/1/2008 3:35:35 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

The attraction of d/s for me is that I love s.

(in reply to AngelGeena)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship. - 12/1/2008 6:14:18 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
The only way to achieve that is to go into wanting and expecting nothing but a shared experience. Managing to get something good, with that neutral expectation, even a minor 'good' becomes a pleasant surprise. Going into the same experience with the focus on high expectations about what you want out of it and the same result could produce disappointment.

I love this, and this has become my new approach to life in general. I am open to possibilities of shared experiences with people. When I began talking to the person I'm seeing now, I was fraught with stress about where it might go, how it should be, if I was ready for a relationship...blah blah blah. And then one day I decided to live in the present, and just enjoy the now. If things continue to progress forward - cool. If not, then this has been a wonderful and short shared experience. That mindset let such a load off - no more stressing or fretting about things, just living and enjoying. No need for definitions, or to "prove myself" or to have a game plan or to worry about the future. Just be in the present, and be open. It's a new way of thinking for me, and seems to be working quite well.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship. - 12/1/2008 6:37:19 PM

hallieB

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/7/2008
Status: offline

I can tell you exactly what my attraction is: It is the love, respect, honesty, self control, total commentment to the person you are with. I am very familiar with men who would lie, cheat, humiliate and deceive you no matter what you would do for them. They would destroy your heart and walk all over it and never think twice. Leaving you to look like a complete fool. Men who would jeopardize their marriages, their children, their homes just for another piece of pussy. When I meet my Master i was reluctant to give him my heart. I felt as if he not only wanted what the vanilla men wanted but he wanted me to sell my soul as well. ( LOL ). After many discussions about trust and honesty, after he showed me that its not the act that usually destroys people and their relationships its the lies and deceipt. If your man came to you and said I have a fantasy or a kink that I want to fullfill.... omg.... that for me was the turning point. If you have trust, honesty and mutual respect and would not jeopardize or hurt your partner in any way. What more can anyone ask for.... I know I will always be his top priority and in return I will submit to him with very few limits if any. To sum it all up I guess I just want to be priority. I want to be loved and cared for above all else. I like the fact that we will discuss anything, no secrets, no lies, there is no reason for them. I trust him completely. Sex is a bonus and I will give myself to him willingly and completely.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship. - 12/1/2008 9:10:35 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
A common denominator of people not in relationships is that what they "want out" of them keeps them out of them. The only way for the cumulative value to exceed the individual total is to not have a 'zero sum' game in mind going of what you are getting out of it equal, or exceeding, what you bring into it. The only way to achieve that is to go into wanting and expecting nothing but a shared experience. Managing to get something good, with that neutral expectation, even a minor 'good' becomes a pleasant surprise. Going into the same experience with the focus on high expectations about what you want out of it and the same result could produce disappointment.

Until in a relationship, it is all about you. Once in a relationship or attempting to get into one, it becomes all about the relationship; not what you can get out of it, but what you, and a partner, are willing to put in. Success, or failure, is a joint effort. What you "want out" of it better be referencing the plural form of 'you'.
Applause for this. This post has gotta be the swiss-army knife of relationship advice... good for almost any problem.

Another round of applause here... I always found myself stumbling over my tongue when I would be asked the question of what "I" want out of the relationship

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to leadership527)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: What do you want out of a D/s relationship. - 12/2/2008 10:42:44 PM

SlaveBlutarsky

Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline

I'm a very simple person, I just want to have the perfect American Dream type relationship, except with a dungeon in the basement of the white picket fence house.

_____________________________

Strong for all, weak for one

(in reply to Maya2001)

Profile

Post #: 29