Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age?

Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (Full Version)

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Dalanius -> Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (12/1/2008 8:54:53 PM)
Curious to hear from maledoms on what they have experienced with their urge to dominatet as they have grown older. Have your dominant urges grown stronger over time as you've aged? I identify as a switch, but I have never truly been submissive. I have found that my dominant side has only grown more and more over the years. Today I only submit with love to one person, my current love, but she also loves to bottom on occasion, and from time to time we play, either separately or together, with others. Now at 34, I find often my mind fluttering with images of an attractive woman in bondage, naked and gagged or spead eagle against a post. Today a lovely assistant of a client of mine came in during a conference. I have had her in my mind on and off throughout the day, imaging what her muffled pleas would sound like, her whimperings, and frustrated sighs. Images of her hog-tied, naked, gagged, and face down have filled my head, replete with images of my partner and her friends toying with her and fucking her with their strapons. I find these strong urges and fantasies come almost out of nowhere but often triggered by an occurance as above, in which a chance meeting or catching sight of someone that caught your fancy. It is escapist, for sure, but the urgency and potency of the drive can at times be distracting, and only with a concentrated effort to shake it off and get back to the affairs of the day, will it recede back into the darkened corners of my mind, awaiting new chance to surface. When younger, how I would have fantasized about being spell-bound perhaps by that same woman, but now, it is like all I've learned and experienced in bottoming and even when I submited, is there at my disposal. In talking with other male switches or maledoms, often they had an earlier period when they too were almost exclusively submissive, but it seems to me that in fact they were always dominant in that they sought the experience for the sake of facing and having the experience, which later enriched them as a dominant. Has this been the case for you, in which your dominant nature only asserted itself all the more strongly as you got older?

SirMIkeSD -> RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (12/1/2008 9:02:31 PM)
As you grow in confidence and skills you become more comfortable with them allowing the other parts of you to come out naturally. Mike

Lordandmaster -> RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (12/1/2008 9:16:08 PM)
No, that hasn't really changed. What has changed is that I've gotten more responsible as I've come to understand the real consequences of things I do. That nixes certain fantasies I used to think were kinky, but also opens up new vistas that I wouldn't have imagined with less experience. quote: ORIGINAL: Dalanius Has this been the case for you, in which your dominant nature only asserted itself all the more strongly as you got older?

IronBear -> RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (12/1/2008 11:30:06 PM)
I have found that the Dom Frenzy I felt as a young man was replaced gradually as I grew into my dominance and maturity by confidence and self awareness that I had nothing to prove to anyone. Interesting this thread, for I was just responding face to facea similar question regarding Rank and Command and my answer was similar..

Rover -> RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (12/2/2008 3:48:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dalanius Have your dominant urges grown stronger over time as you've aged? No, but with the passage of time I've become more aware of what I enjoy doing with those urges. John

DesFIP -> RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (12/2/2008 5:19:58 AM)
It sounds as though your current relationship isn't fulfilling your needs. You say she will bottom on occasion, but it appears that you need those occasions to be much more often. Perhaps if you were fulfilled at home, you wouldn't suffer from frenzy so much. I will say that The Man surfs bondage sites a lot more if we haven't had time to play or I've been ill and unable to for a couple of weeks. When the stars are aligned, and we can play frequently, he doesn't seem to bother about it.

SadysticJester -> RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (12/2/2008 5:33:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirMIkeSD As you grow in confidence and skills you become more comfortable with them allowing the other parts of you to come out naturally. Mike i agree with this,as long as you keep an open mind and are confident in your own self,allowing yourself the luxuries of experimenting to the other side..theres a debate on whether or not a Dominaqnt submitting makes them a better Dominaqnt..for me it has it has allowed me to experience what it is i expect from my subs/slaves and the struggles they go through.i have also found out that over time in a relationship whether D/s, M/s,,,the longer the relationship the more willing each is to try new and more extreme things,this is because the trust builds over time to the point where there is no reservations period....early on the trust may be there but there is always the lingering fear(whether known or not)..

MasterTslave -> RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (12/2/2008 1:47:18 PM)
Master T is older than I am by 12 years...He has been interested in bdsm for most of his life...so I think that it grows stronger or maybe that is not the word, but he does sure as heck know what to do to this slave!

Dnomyar -> RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (12/3/2008 9:49:59 AM)
I think it may grow stronger because you get less tolerant of a lot of things.

Cuffkinks -> RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (12/3/2008 10:11:19 AM)
I think it's that as we grow older, hopefully we gain some wisdom and insight as to what our own needs are, and feel more comfortable expressing them. If you're in a relationship that's has open communication, then all the more ease in expressing feelings. Myself, my "urges" haven't grown stronger. But I take a certain comfort that I have a little girl who trusts me completely. With that comfort, comes the knowledge that I can search the darkest parts of my mind. And any urges I may get, she is more than willing to comply.

mstrj69 -> RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (12/3/2008 7:03:13 PM)
When I was much younger, my urges and what I wanted to do were very limited. In the interim I have decided I want to know more and have learned how to do more. Now I am at the point where I want to teach others or allows others to have an enjoyable time while with me but I do not expect the latter to be permanent. So in response to your question, yes they grew stronger as I aged.

SailingBum -> RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (12/3/2008 11:47:45 PM)
naaaa i ust get older as I age BadOne

DomDG -> RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (12/5/2008 9:55:47 PM)
Well, to be honest, I think you are comparing apples to oranges in some ways. Some of us were never switches or bottoms other than in a mentorship. I never had any desire to be submissive, I have been 'kinky' since my GI Joes tied up Barbie and spanked and whipped her. So for me my desire to be on top has always been strong. I think it's very different for a switch. I think some switches are more bottom oriented and they grow more to that area and vice versa for top oriented ones. I feel you may be growing in your 'top' parts, and that's a cool thing! As for me, I don't find my urges growing, I find my ability to do things I thought I would never do growing in many ways. I also find that my curiosity to learn has never waned.

MarcEsadrian -> RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (12/5/2008 11:19:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dalanius Have your dominant urges grown stronger over time as you've aged? Perhaps wiser, or so I'd like to think.

StrongSpirit -> RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (12/7/2008 6:33:16 PM)
I have noticed an improvement in confidence and also a "less willing to put up with shit' quality, in both myself and others as they age. I think this explains the "grumpy old man/woman" stereotype - they just won't put up with ANY shit at all.

SirPrizeSD -> RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (12/7/2008 7:21:38 PM)
It seems to be a common theme, but my experience is alot like those mentioned above. Domination to me is something that has remained constant. I have felt an increase in desire at different points in my life. Perhaps a life change or just biorhythems. With age, I am wiser but most importantly, I know myself better. There is a confidence and a peace that comes from being sure. I don't think there is a replacement for age and experience. I'm not saying a young man can't be a good Dom, but I don't think we could find anybody who would say they were a better Dom at age 20 than they were at age 40.

Nogimmicks -> RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (12/9/2008 6:58:53 AM)
The problem with the question is that I am not sure how the OP defines dominance. If by dominance, he means sadism, then I have become less dominant. If by dominance he means a more controlling instinct, then i have become more dominant. Twenty years ago, I thought of the obedience side of the relationship as being subservient to the sexual side. A woman who was sexually submissive was all I really needed. Now I would almost say that I am the opposite, I see the sexual side of the thing as being a tool to use for the obedience. Twenty years ago I was terrified of the fact that I was a "control freak", I feared becoming abusive rather than benevolent. Now I have toned that fear down. Instead of fearing being a control freak in and of itself, I focus on maintaining strict guidelines for channeling that control so that it can never be abusive or counter-productive. Frankly, I think I am a better dominant now than I was then. However, as another person also said here, I have never been a switch or submissive or had any interest in being a "bottom". I am just plain dominant, I can't help it. Believe me, I spent many years trying to deny that side of my personality.

Huntertn -> RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (12/9/2008 6:32:51 PM)
As a kid, I decide what I wanted to do..and usually did just that..then I went and told on myself...took my punishment, and got on with life. My mom said I was a good kid, but "thanks Heaven" I wasn't a mean kid..But if I decide I wanted to do something I did it ....I didn't follow the crowd, instead, it seems allot of th crowd followed me..as for being submissive..lol..I don't think I ever thought about it..You lead from the front..as I get older I stay the same...but I've noticed I am more not less tolerant of others..till I hit that point..and then enough is enough

ResidentSadist -> RE: Do Your Dominant Urges Grow Stronger as You Age? (12/9/2008 10:37:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dalanius Curious to hear from maledoms on what they have experienced with their urge to dominatet as they have grown older. Have your dominant urges grown stronger over time as you've aged? ......Has this been the case for you, in which your dominant nature only asserted itself all the more strongly as you got older? Speaking as a 53 yo that has been in the lifestyle since my teens, I find the "urges" remained about the same but action on those urges was more frequent as experience and confidence grew over time.

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