Am i being overly-sensitive?

Am i being overly-sensitive? (Full Version)

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FlyboysOwner -> Am i being overly-sensitive? (12/2/2008 8:50:10 AM)
I have been involved in a LDR M/s relationship for the past few months and at first, communication was plentiful and frequent but then the communication slowed down somewhat - it's simply not as frequent nor as detailed. Questions pertaining to permissions have gone unanswered and though I certainly don't expect every single thought or question to be commented upon and every question answered, i do require guidance and welcome a response on the gist of my emails but it's not always forthcoming. I recently sent off a long email detailing these thoughts and fears and received a response advising that he needed time to think about my mail and would respond in a day or two. Well, i've actually seen that line once or twice before, but the responses are never forthcoming. I know he has a particularly busy job, that he sometimes needs to travel but i can't help feeling a little neglected and have begun questioning whether he has the time for an M/s relationship. I feel I've said my piece and let him know how i feel about things and do not wish to harp on the subject but still can't help how i feel and i guess i'm also feeling a bit fearful and afraid - this isn't the first 'important' email i've sent that 's not been answered. Because of the nature of our relationship he has naturally become very important to me and when we chat, we gone on really well on all levels, i do enjoy his company as well as his Ownership. Any thoughts...?

sailorfrank -> RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? (12/2/2008 9:07:17 AM)
Only a couple of months? Have you two met in real life? Sorry to say but the lack of response from him is disturbing after such a short time. Myself I get upset when I dont hear from my slave on a daily basis. You may end up having to look again. But dont be upset or blame yourself okay? It happens people may find themselves in over their heads and dont know how to back out of it? Keep looking as you will find the right person for you okay?

FlyboysOwner -> RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? (12/2/2008 10:06:09 AM)
Thanks Sailorfrank for the advice and thoughts. We've not yet met in real life - work (both his and mine) have played havoc with our plans; and I've begun wondering whether he isn't in over his head with a hectic work schedule, family commitments and a newbie slave to train. I have begun to suspect that I'll soon find myself looking again. Regards

MadRabbit -> RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? (12/2/2008 10:46:31 AM)
Would you prefer that he responded immediately, but in a wrong way that didn't correctly use the new information for future courses of action that were in your and his best interests? Just chill out. I don't think your being overly sensitive, but obviously you have laid down a big peice of your soul for this guy and the mild anxiety of "How is he going to respond? How is he going to handle it? Is he going to flip out and get mad at me?" is spurring you to want a response NOW. Him taking awhile isn't necessarily a red flag to me, because I do the same thing sometimes. I'm a pretty calculating guy so when presented with something major, I often take time to reflect and think it over before responding or making a decision. As far as the aspect of time, rarely ever is anyone in the ideal 100% perfect place for a relationship when one usually lands in our feet and even if he was and assuming that your in this for the long haul, it won't continue to stay like that forever. Life brings hardships, overtime, new projects, deadlines, unexpected catasrophes, and important priorities that put a strain on two people's ability to devote time to a relationship. You either both endure it and can make it work or you can't. Given your response at the end of your second post, I see you have already made up your mind as to which route your going to change. But that's probably the best anyways. Assuming that he is genuinely caught up in a hectic and stressful work schedule and cannot sincerely devote time to you, then thinking solely of "You, you, you" and adding stress to him in the form of a guilt trip for neglecting you is probably not the best attitude for making a relationship work out.

NuevaVida -> RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? (12/2/2008 11:20:52 AM)
My former owner always made it clear that he would respond to me in his time, not mine. It wasn't always easy, but once I came to accept it, I could deal with it better. In many ways, I can understand that. Even with me, sometimes I'll receive a big ol' heavy email from a friend, filled with all sorts of things I could comment or advise on, and I need some time & space with which to process my thoughts to give a well thought out and worthwhile reply. Communicating via email is much different than a give & take verbal conversation, because one person becomes the recipient of all thoughts and feelings in one big dose, rather than piecing it out over the course of conversation. Oh and there were often times my concerns or thoughts weren't addressed at all by my former owner. I took that as, he is not my savior, god, or fixer of all things - these were my personal demons to sort, and if I took advantage of the time given to me to sort them, I usually came up with some pretty good answers myself. This helped me a great deal to analyze and problem solve on my own, and in retrospect I am grateful for it.

DesFIP -> RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? (12/2/2008 11:46:13 AM)
Him responding in his own time, not yours is one thing. But you state that he frequently says that and doesn't ever respond at all. I have to assume that this cyber romance thing was fun for him but isn't a priority. Up to you to decide if you want to continue to make someone a priority for whom you are merely an option.

Rover -> RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? (12/2/2008 12:57:45 PM)
Perhaps there are differing expectations for each other, and the relationship. If that's the case, then one or both of you will end up frustrated and disillusioned. The only way to know is to talk openly and honestly about it with each other. You cannot find answers, or mutual agreement, here. John

Gage46Bstn -> RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? (12/2/2008 1:36:53 PM)
Three months is a very short time. I am not sure an on line Master and slave relationship can exist beyond a certain point. Talking and meetimg are too important. It does not sound like your Master is not paying attention to you. More importantly not communicating why? I try hard to confine my search for a slave to New England when I see profiles. Sometimes the perfect candidate is in somewhere like Utah - it's hard to resist an email to say hello and then he may return it with the perfect response. Where do we go from here? Give youself a break and look closer to home. Master Greg

Usako -> RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? (12/2/2008 1:53:35 PM)
I know I never answer e-mails promptly. I hate e-mails personally, I'd rather talk via IM or phone. Maybe he's just too busy to deal with an on line only relationship. Perhaps the next time you look it will be closer to home and easier to keep tabs on and control?

greeneyedreamer -> RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? (12/2/2008 2:36:00 PM)
Being somewhat innovative at times, I had a Dom once who would read my emails and not answer them, at all and I had no idea why. So I once sent a BLANK email to him. He laughed and said to me "Boy, you were full of information!" I replied, That's what if feels like when you don't answer my emails. His reply was "ouch" Still didn't change anything! LOL That's why HE a Dom I ONCE Had! LOL Dreamer

KnightofMists -> RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? (12/2/2008 2:48:05 PM)
I am curious.... have the two of you ever met? if you haven't is there plans to meet?

CalifChick -> RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? (12/2/2008 2:52:23 PM)
I'm confused... are you actually flyboy? If so, then did your owner change the profile without you knowing, saying he wasn't keeping you any longer? Cali

Maya2001 -> RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? (12/2/2008 6:13:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick I'm confused... are you actually flyboy? If so, then did your owner change the profile without you knowing, saying he wasn't keeping you any longer? Cali I read the profile as well and am confused all to hell

KnightofMists -> RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? (12/2/2008 6:19:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Maya2001 I read the profile as well and am confused all to hell oh the embarassement of it all... One moment your a slave in a life long committed relationship to servitude... and the next minute you read that you have been dumped!

MasterTslave -> RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? (12/2/2008 6:53:32 PM)
You are being overly sensitive..it is an online thing only and that is like dating on email. If you want someone committed, get someone you will get to screw at some point in your life...just don't get the long distance, never meeting, online thing.

SirMIkeSD -> RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? (12/2/2008 7:00:11 PM)
After you have actually meet and have problems get back to me. Mike

FlyboysOwner -> RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? (12/2/2008 11:15:50 PM)
All Many thanks for the many diverse and varied answers - it has certainly given me lots to think about! Re the profile - sorry for the confusion - I'm not flyboy but rather his Owner. Over the past year I have gone from Mistress to sub (possibly slave) and don't feel that I can devote the time to flyboy hence the exploration for anothe Mistress/Owner for him.

mc1234 -> RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? (12/3/2008 6:28:04 AM)
Huh, ok. Clear as mud.

DomDG -> RE: Am i being overly-sensitive? (12/8/2008 12:51:04 AM)
And yes, this why I don't get cyber only 'collars'. Sorry, not for me. I don't mind LDR as long as it's not too LD and we can have regular times of together. But to commit to anyone over the wwweb and even phone is not real enough for me.

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