Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

New to the scene


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> New to the scene Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
New to the scene - 12/2/2008 6:11:59 PM   
forbiddenfruit09


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/28/2008
Status: offline 		My dominant and I have been together for a little while now, and we are on the road to becoming Master and Slave. I do not know if this is my place or not...perhaps I should simply be in the Ask A Slave/Submissive thread...in any case I am here seeking advice from any Dominant or Master with experience. My Dom lives in the state above me, and after I finish high school, I hope to join him up there. As it stands, I handle all of my own punishments (he assigns them as needed and I take care of them while he is on the phone and watching me on webcam). I'm not really sure what questions I have for the Dominants and Masters, but I suppose I am just looking for any advice you are willing to give us. My Dom has requested that we both seek assistance in this matter, since we are both inexperienced. Sometimes, I feel my Dominant gets too emotional. I have a disciplinarian who I have been getting help from before I met my Dom and the other night my Dominant witnessed a punishment I performed for my disciplinarian (I recieved 700 with a hairbrush to my "sitspots") and he called me after I was finished and he was crying. I had a few bruises but I was alright, my Dom knows about and approves of my disciplinarian until I am living with him (my Dom). My disciplinarian is 16 years older than my Dominant and has been a disciplinarian much longer than my Dom has been domming.

I think one question I can come up with is, is it crazy of me to think that we could find a more experienced D/s couple and learn from them by watching them then trying it ourselves? For instance, watching a Dom punish his sub then have my dom try the same with me?

I know that I have much to learn, please help me, teach me.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: New to the scene - 12/2/2008 6:56:22 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It sounds like you are using the term "punishment" to mean "general impact play" and not actual behavior conditioning, correct?  That can change a lot of it.

What do you consider "too emotional" and why do you consider that something which should be changed?  What is the line of authority?  Does your dom have final say so or this disciplinarian? 

You can learn from anyone you choose and there are lots of great couples open to teaching. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to forbiddenfruit09)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: New to the scene - 12/2/2008 7:01:11 PM   
MasterTslave


Posts: 200
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		I think that you need to first figure out what your limits are, set up some slave/sub rules, figure out what He is into...then find out what you both want.  It takes some time (esp if you are both new).  Be careful, you are YOUNG and you may not want to be tied down to ONE person for long term.  Just wanted to throw that out there...Anyway, read some blogs from different slaves, this will get you to understand what others do and give you both some ideas, most are willing to email you if you have questions (I know I have)...look online to pictures of bdsm and see if they look good to you and try them.  Use your imagination!  If you want to check out my blog with some of the things Master T does to me (along with some useless crap) feel free to visit www.mtslave.wordpress.com and email me if you have questions :)  Good luck and have an open mind!

(in reply to forbiddenfruit09)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: New to the scene - 12/2/2008 7:05:46 PM   
Sakone


Posts: 41
Joined: 9/3/2007
From: Queensbury
Status: offline 		Hello, I am the dominant and yes I would agree that I did get emotional. I have been working on this and know its cause. I do agree with her and also would like to have a lesson with a couple in showing me, and her how to be better at this. I have asked for books in a past post, and will buy them and learn from them as well.  

< Message edited by Sakone -- 12/2/2008 7:15:49 PM >

(in reply to forbiddenfruit09)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: New to the scene - 12/2/2008 7:14:43 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		it's "dominant"  Dominate is a verb.

Again- do you think being emotional is something that should be changed?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Sakone)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: New to the scene - 12/2/2008 7:18:46 PM   
forbiddenfruit09


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/28/2008
Status: offline 		No, I mean it as a form of correction. Yet, I suppose that is the job of my dominant...I was being punished by him because I thought of myself as worthless basically, without getting into all the drama of the details. My dominant punished me because I was unfaithful to him.  They punished me for the same incident but for different reasons. I think that too emotional for me would be my Dominant crying because he feels I am being punished to severely by my disciplinarian (I got a few bruises as I said.) There is a very fine line of authority and to be honest, I haven't given any thought to which of them has the final say...though the answer should be my Dom, I am not entirely certain that that is the answer I would give you. My Dominant is someone I trust to help me make decisions, but my disciplinarian has more experience in manners of safety...they have not crossed paths as of yet, but if my Dominant feels threatened or challenged by my disciplinarian at any time, I will not hesitate to severe the connection should I receive the order to do so. My disciplinarian does not have the power to tell me to leave my Dominant, but my Dominant has the power to tell me to leave my disciplinarian. 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: New to the scene - 12/2/2008 7:21:36 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Every idiosyncrasy we each have can be shoved into one of two boxes in our heads:

Box 1: "This is part of who I am and I'm going to embrace it."
Box 2: "This is a part of me that I consider a flaw and I'm going to work to change it.

Be careful you don't go shoveling too much of yourself into Box 2 because of what you think a "dominant"/"submissive" person is supposed to be like. Both of you.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: New to the scene - 12/2/2008 7:24:04 PM   
Sakone


Posts: 41
Joined: 9/3/2007
From: Queensbury
Status: offline 		Crying yes I need to work on that, I don't like it and at times may be good not that time. 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: New to the scene - 12/2/2008 7:30:04 PM   
forbiddenfruit09


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/28/2008
Status: offline 		Well, I know most of what I am into, and I am willing to try the things that I have heard of and think I could get into. I'm not so sure about him though, we are still experimenting. Thank you for your advice and I will hope to talk to you more. 

(in reply to MasterTslave)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: New to the scene - 12/3/2008 4:31:57 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm not sure what you mean exactly by disciplinarian but I'm getting the feeling that it's a person deep into spanking who is using any excuse to do that.

The only person who should be punishing you is your dom. With two people who don't work together, stuff is being done at cross purposes.

I'm not sure how 700 spanks teaches you anything more than 5 would. If you have disappointed your dominant, then you should care about having disappointed him. And that should be more important to you than impact play. If you don't care about having disappointed him, then no amount of spanking will change that.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to forbiddenfruit09)
Profile   Post #: 10
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> New to the scene Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.063