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Mercnbeth -> RE: Mind Fucks (12/28/2005 12:42:30 PM)
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quote:
My approach is as a champion to the bottom in facing their fears. I do not bring the fear... we work together in facing the fear. A submissive I had was deathly afraid of canes... so afraid that she would and did freak at the sight of them. I left a cane in her bedroom in the corner until I return... told her she could break it if she choose to... but I also told her it was my favorite cane.... I returned about 2 weeks later and my cane was still there... this is a mind fuck.... in a mild form. About 6 months later... after some more work on the fears.. she asked and recieved strikes with the cane. She never really liked the cane... but she did conquer her fear of it.... and it all started with a mind fuck.
KoM,
I would consider your example as training, and advancing the subs experience level, and see it as a good illustration of consensually advancing limits. If you define that as a "mind fuck", then I routinely used and use similar mind fuck training techniques. I too believe the most effective training comes with the submissive acquiescing to activity which previously would be avoided. Having a sub beg for an experience that was previously a "hard limit" is fulfilling to me as a Master.
As you state, fear is a valuable tool. Not just for training, but for understanding. I don't know exactly when or even if, beth's obedience to me was inspired by fear. I can't pinpoint when it transitioned from the fear of punishment to the fear of disappointment. But I assure you now she fears more to disappoint me versus any punishment I could render.
I see your point that any scene where you come out of it with a deepening of trust serves a purpose. Removing fear and replacing it with trust is an obvious and very desirable goal. Sessions and scenes that accomplish that may accelerate the deepening of trust. It comes back to risk/reward. If I could accomplish the same goal taking a longer time, but avoiding the crossroad type mind fuck scenario, I'd choose the longer time. Maybe I'm jaded by that camping experience but I can't help it. If it's a weakness or if I'm missing out, I accept that too. Truth be told, that until it was obvious that the slave from my example was not going through the process as planned, I enjoined the rest of the group taunting and tormenting her. I didn't feel very good about myself afterward, but I was just as wrapped up into the scene as her Master and everyone else there. Again, it wasn't planned to come out the way it did. Being the control freak I am, I avoid situations where any unexpected result could be terminal to a relationship as special as I share with beth. Because of that, I've never been involved with a "mind fuck" that would compare.
I don't think your situation falls into the same category. You have indicated communication and a willingness on the submissive's part to address this fear. In the case of the camping trip, the entire scenario was a surprise. Even those subs with a "kidnap/rape fantasy" whose Master's facilitate the experience fundamentally have given consent. Your sub did the same. You technique worked well as indicated by her asking to feel the sensation of a cane.
In my example if the slave had expressed a desire to conquer her fear of heights, or even casually wanted to know what it felt to bungee jump, then that would be the same category, albeit maybe more intense, than your cane example. If, in my example, the master took her to that same cliff, had a real bungee cord attached and without the blindfold told her to jump all the time telling her it was safe, he tested it, he maybe even made a jump of his own, it may be in the same category. But as in your case, I would think the slave should also have had the desire to conquer the fear.
Thank you for replying to my inquiry and providing your perspective.
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