Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You

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Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/3/2008 9:01:07 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
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I have written about this before, but I wanted to resurrect the subject and ask:

How do the daily restraints your Dominant uses on you, affect your mental state? And what do they -mean- to you?

Now, I am sure it varies, but I imagine that each of us have some sort of collar, or cuffs, or combination thereof that we find ourselves wearing repeatedly. In my case, it is a 1 inch leather collar with three O rings, and 2 inch wide leather wrist cuffs with D rings. There are also matching ankle cuffs, but my Lady does not use them unless she intends to restrain my legs. I wear them at my Lady's home when we are together. I kneel and kiss each of them before they are put on, and when they come off.

At first, they were just objects...now, they are so much more. They are a symbol of my service, and a focal point for my submission. I cannot adequately describe how much better and different I feel when my Lady puts them on me. Whatever my mental state, they calm me when she puts me in them. My whole focus narrows to Her and I feel a deep sense of love and submission. I absolutely LOVE to sleep in them, even though they can be a bit uncomfortable. I hate it when she takes them off...

For me, they have become so much more than objects of restraint. I love them...

So, I am wondering, what collars and/or cuffs are in your life, and what do they mean to you? I want to know how they make you feel when you are in them, and how they affect your mood, attitude, and mental state when you wear them?

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

Post #: 1

RE: Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/3/2008 9:33:44 AM

RainydayNE

Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline

i have a "special bracelet" that is very ... what's the word exactly
well it's a handcuff, and most people probably assume that i'm punk and i'm just wearing it because it's cool =p haha
i wear it all the time, either by itself or in a mass of other bracelets, and i totally believe that it carries his energy
which is cool
i remember one time in particular, i had this experience of channeling his energy when he wasn't there, and being alot more confident and outgoing, and talking to strangers/classmates and other stuff that i don't do normally
and the feeling i had was specifically the feeling that i have when i'm with him
it was really interesting
i believe people leave their energy on/in things, especially when those things have "purpose" behind them
sleeping with it on is nice because i have a tendency to be harassed by "ghosts" (yes i know, i probably sound insane) and i don't feel quite so scared when i'm wearing it =p

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 2

RE: Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/3/2008 9:36:35 AM

mc1234

Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
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I'm just entering into a new relationship, and don't have anything from it as of yet. But I did have a necklace from my last relationship that my former Master gave me which I wore daily. It had a charm on it, and I'd use it as a touchstone throughout my day. It always made me smile and feel warm and fuzzy ... now it's in my jewelry box, a memento.

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 3

RE: Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/3/2008 9:47:45 AM

GabrielleSlave

Posts: 616
Joined: 9/20/2007
From: in servitude
Status: offline

i have a necklace that i wear all the time; my all day collar and i feel the power from that constantly. When i broke it by accident i was in bits until it was mended even though He wasn't angry with me. i think i had not appreciated the energy it had within it til then... i also have a play collar; a thick leather one with a single O ring on it. It was the first one Sir ever bought me and it has special significance because of that and when i am not wearing it i sleep with it under my pillow. It also comes with me if i have to go away for a night or two. When i kneel so that He can put it round my neck, i feel apprehensive and excited about what He has instore for me, but also incredibly calm. i know that is a seeming contradiction, but there we are, can't explain better than that lol!

The wrist and ankle restraints are not so special for me as they were His before He met me and have therefore been on other subs... Maybe one day Wwe will buy a set especially for me (i would love a set of suspension cuffs) but until then it's cool.

gabrielle x

_____________________________

Slave to Master Slayer

~ Host of the Rather Marvelous Greenwich Munch ~

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

(in reply to mc1234)

Post #: 4

RE: Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/3/2008 9:51:53 AM

toddlefeet

Posts: 129
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline

I have a pendant "Dogtag" on a rope chain necklace I wear & dont ever take off. on the front it has my initals and on the back it has the names of all my CF friends & Baby brother that had passed away. My aunt had it made for me before my move from Chas SC to Redding Ca, a year & a half ago. I'm also very open minded to things like The Bermuda Triangle, Conspiracy Theories,UFO's & Ghosts. No..I'm no nutcase or anything like that..I've felt at least twice in my life, the presence of my Baby Brother when I was very sick and thought I was close to death. I've not ever seen a ghost ( But I do believe in them.) but I've felt his presence and the presence of my 1st "mommy" after she had passed away when I had 1st walked in the door to my best friends house in Shasta Lake 1 year ago. So I do understand what you mean how peoples energies can be tied to an object. I feel my the love of my baby brother and my fallen CF friends with me all the time while wearing this pendant around my neck. My biofather tells me I need to put them behind me and forget.. I Refuse. My heart goes out to you Rainy & MC. -hugs-

"The Toddle"

(in reply to mc1234)

Post #: 5

RE: Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/3/2008 9:59:07 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

Thank you for the replies thus far. Interesting that folks have brought up jewelry. I also have a new bracelet made of stainless and black rubber links. My Lady had it sized to fit close and so it is a bit like a cuff, and it is narrow and so looks just a bit delicate - appropriate for me.

It is interesting to me that we have these things that signify our submission, that mean something to us, and help us stay in that wonderful submissive space, or even just feel that space when we are out in the world.

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to toddlefeet)

Post #: 6

RE: Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/3/2008 10:07:00 AM

RainydayNE

Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline

*hugs* to toddle :)
don't forget anyone! :D

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 7

RE: Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/3/2008 11:08:37 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i wear either my eternity collar or my princess leather one, my wrist cuff (on my left), my ring on my left hand , and my two ankle chains everyday. Between Daddy and i, they are symbols of His love, ownership and our eternal commitment to each other. i wear His symbols with pride and much love. i have received compliments from others on how pretty my "jewelry" / collars look on me.

on a lighter note - my "jewelry" really fits with the in-crowds at metal/goth/industrial rock shows.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 8

RE: Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/3/2008 11:47:16 AM

WalterRego

Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline

I'm not "collared" but Mistress has a special collar for me with an engraved dog tag and locking ankle and wrist cuffs. We live apart so She brings them when She comes to my home or I go to Hers. After I have properly greeted Her, the next thing to occur is that She puts them on on me and locks the tiny brass padlocks.

Usually we spend at least a weekend together and I wear them the entire time day and night. If I want to shower, I do it with Her permission and at Her convenience, since I must wait until they are temporarily removed. Other than showers I wear them until She (or I) part to go home. If we are going out someplace vanilla, I do the best I can to conceal them under my shirt or sweater sleeves, shirt collar, etc. This was difficult sometimes over the summer and sometimes I am so used to and comfortable with them on that I have forgotten they are there and am suddenly caught up short at a restaurant.

Even at the beginning or end of the weekend when they have been unlocked, only She puts them on me or takes them off. Of course, once locked, then only She CAN take them off.

I know exactly what you mean about the effect of them going on and hating it when She takes them off. The best part for me is when She clicks the tiny padlocks shut. She knows that the sound of each click is heaven and will sometimes pause dramatically so that I can focus on the change of my status. I do love them, but especially the cuffs, more than the collar because I can always see and am aware of them.

Recently we have also acquired an electric dog collar which is fastened around my cock and balls with a nylon collar and metal buckle. The controller is always at hand, in Her purse or at Her side when seated. We are both growing quite fond of that. And it is beginning to have an incredible effect on my mental state. Just knowing it is on I think makes me more aware. Any time she wants my attention, wants me back in front of Her or wants to make a point, either the warning sound or a zap of appropriately varying intensity immediately gains my full attention and focuses it totally on Her.

< Message edited by WalterRego -- 12/3/2008 11:51:35 AM >

_____________________________

A person should not choose the form in which he wishes to perform the service, but he should perform it in any manner the opportunity affords. He should be like a vessel into which anything may be poured - wine, milk, or water.
-Abraham Joshua Heschel

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 9

RE: Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/3/2008 11:57:16 AM

mc1234

Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline

Thank you, toddle!! Hugs back

(in reply to toddlefeet)

Post #: 10

RE: Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/3/2008 2:03:16 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

It meant more in the beginning when we were LDR. Now that we're together I don't need an object to feel connected to him. Just like I used to wear his shirt when we were LDR, I don't do that anymore because he's here to hold me.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to mc1234)

Post #: 11

RE: Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/4/2008 5:33:27 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

When I was in a relationship, I wore a steel collar that was welded around my neck from day one. I had to have it cut off after he passed away, and to be honest, that was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do....letting go sucks

BUT, the collar meant more to me than a wedding ring. In my mind, it was more binding. Perhaps that was because I choose to wear the collar willingly and the wedding ring came about as something that signified our time together coming to an end.

Besides the collar, I never wore anything else. No cuffs on the ankles or wrists, ever.

edited to add:
I take that back. The times he branded me, he had to bind me down to keep me from attacking him

< Message edited by IrishMist -- 12/4/2008 5:35:01 AM >

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 12

RE: Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/4/2008 6:51:33 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Females tend to still be females- they generally enjoy jewelry is considered a love token and a status symbol. So combining existing cultural symbols with new symbology (ownership, submission) is quite simple.

But remember that not everyone in Ds is kinky, not everyone DOES use collars or restraints, and that for a lot of people, a charm is just a charm.

We have collars and cuffs and they are nice things because they are gifts and we use them for special time together. But I'd say we enjoy and appreciate our DVR a lot more.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 13

RE: Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/4/2008 9:20:36 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

Master has obtained several collars to put on His slave, depending on His preference at the time, the situation at hand or the event we attend. they are in a variety of styles and made from a variety of materials from polished steel to vegan "latex".

the first collar He ever put on this slave's neck is the one she wears most of the time (by default, unless He wants it changed). it's over there on the left in our avatar pic, but the heart charm is turned into the chain in that pic and isn't dangling like it usually does. the links of the chain are eternity-symbol shaped, like an 8 on it's side, and He had the jeweler cut the links to fit the particular length He wanted, after trying it on this slave at the store.

as a symbol, it means the most to this slave, in comparison with other "symbolic" jewelry that she is allowed to wear. He changes them, physically, each and every time one comes off and another is put on.

as for cuffs, they are worn all the time...on ankles and wrists. currently this slave wears dark purple leather, lined with deerskin, whip-stitched around the edges in black, dangling the big jingly o-rings, unless she is in a water-based environment or it pleases Him for her to wear something else. there are times when they are not practical considering the costume this slave would be wearing, so a variety of anklets and bracelets, made of metals, stones, bells and/or crystals are substituted for the leather.

there is always a token, a symbol of our M/s relationship, either of metal, leather or vegan materials around this slave's neck, wrists and ankles...save from the obvious rare circumstance of medical procedures that require their removal.

quote:

I want to know how they make you feel when you are in them, and how they affect your mood, attitude, and mental state when you wear them?

owned, cherished, grateful and proud to be His is this slave's attitude/mood/mental state...
but the collars and the cuffs don't MAKE this slave feel that way, the relationship that they are a symbol of does that!!!

it has always felt good/positive/fun to this slave to wear beautiful works of artistic talent, and they ALL are...some so incredibly unique, this slave has never seen another like it.

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 14

RE: Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/4/2008 6:12:29 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Beth, isn't latex made from rubber plants? As such isn't it already vegan? Or am I misinformed?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 15

RE: Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/5/2008 3:44:24 AM

RainydayNE

Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline

some latex has milk proteins in it.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 16

RE: Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/5/2008 4:13:04 AM

Zechriel

Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline

Good morning,
We have a cuff and collar set that we use when we play, but mostly it is put away. I go over to see Daddy about twice a week and he hardly ever makes me wear it. I have begged for him to leave it out on the foyer table but he doesn't so I guess it is no big deal for us. It is more a feeling inside that only I and he know about.
I am married so I cannot wear special jewelry, most times I do not even wear my wedding ring as I am constantly cleaning the house. So daily jewelry is no big deal. The feelings that we have for each other and the knowledge that both of us share certain things only with each other makes up for any symbols that I would wear. I know in my heart that certain acts, fantasies, and parts of my body are only for him, no one else and that makes up for not being able to wear any outside symbols to express it. Good luck!

Love,
Zechriel

_____________________________

Sir HighlanderME's little z

(in reply to RainydayNE)

Post #: 17

RE: Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/5/2008 6:35:09 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

Beth, isn't latex made from rubber plants? As such isn't it already vegan? Or am I misinformed?

DesFIP,
indeed, the rubber comes from a plant source, however, as RainydayNE has pointed out, there are often milk proteins added, exposure to non-organic pesticides as well as testing done on animals with regards to the ingredients and/or finished product(s).

vegan, as opposed to vegetarian, has a bit broader scope of what isn't acceptable.

quote:

The word vegan, usually pronounced [vee-gun], was originally derived from vegetarian in 1944 when Elsie Shrigley and Donald Watson, frustrated that the term "vegetarianism" had come to include the eating of dairy products, founded the UK Vegan Society. "Vegan", which they saw as "the beginning and end of vegetarian", started and ended with the first three and last two letters of vegetarian.
Since the founding of the UK Vegan Society, the term veganism has come to mean people who seek to eliminate all animal products in all areas of their lives, as opposed to those who simply avoid eating animal products...Vegans generally oppose what they see as violence and cruelty involved in the meat, dairy, non-vegan cosmetics, clothing, and other industries.
http://www.eatoutzone.com/Vegan_Cuisine.htm

there is also the "Straight-Veg" variety of vegan:

quote:

...More recently, many young people who subscribe to the anarcho-punk or straight edge punk movements have embraced veganism (in the latter case coining the term 'Straight Veg'), and the corresponding beliefs of the animal rights movement. Straight Edge is a philosophy that rejects the use of alcohol, casual sex or recreational drugs, originating as a reaction to what some perceived as the cultural excesses of the 1980s...
(same link as above)

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 12/5/2008 7:32:47 AM >

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 18

RE: Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/5/2008 7:23:32 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

The only daily restraints are mental and emotional in our house.

His collars are usually only worn at events, but even then he may decide to leave them off. I do not really have any emotional attachment to the one he has me wear. The emotional attachment is to him and the relationship.

When the cuffs come out, that means I will not get to process pain the way I normally do by hitting back. Sometimes that can be annoying if I am feeling aggressive.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 19

RE: Collar and Cuffs and their Meaning to You - 12/5/2008 10:55:52 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

Master and i have wrist and ankle restraints but we don't use them every day. Master has used them on me in the past. The thing that has meant to me idn my collar. To anyoine else it looks like a pretty necklace ( a prof in school even commented on what a pretty necklace it is). Master and i both know what it is. I will reach up and touc it sometimes. The only way this leaves my neck, is if i change if for my dressy collar or Master takes if off me.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 20

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