subs who've ever tried to be Dominant?

subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (Full Version)

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fp2012 -> subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/26/2005 5:19:21 AM)
Hey there I'm back after a long break, with an interesting new experience under my belt. I identify as a submissive, and I know for a fact that being Dominant doesn't turn me on in the same way (i also can't bring myself to punish anyone but that's a different story). Anyway, a few weeks ago I had the opportunity to teach my new guy (who I'm introducing to BDSM) a thing or two about being in control. The only way I saw to go about this was to show him by being Dominant myself. Have any other subs tried taking the reigns before and switching roles (I mean subs here more than switches)? It definitely opened my eyes to how difficult it is to come up with stuff to do, and made me realize just how indecisive I am lol. What are your thoughts on it? I actually think it's a good idea if you've never tried it before... sure made me appreciate my Master's talent more than ever! Cheers, ~fp

Yourkitten -> RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/26/2005 6:01:49 AM)
about a year ago when i lived in memphis i played with a dom and we were friends. one nite he asked me to put on a strap on. i didnt want to do this but i wanted to please him so i did. we got on the bed and he did things to me that i would do to him only my cock wasnt real. then he would get on his belly and have me use him from behind. i would tie him to the cross and then used the flogger on his back and ass. i pulled his hair and pinched his nipples. i made him wait to cum. it was not who i am or wanted to be but i did this for him. i did enjoy the flogger but the strap on made me wonder how can a guy do that. my back hurt and i got tired. it was interesting but not something i ever want to do again. anyways, i did this three times and finally i asked him to dom me. i guess he liked the sub role better and wanted me to keep on topping him. thats when we decided to not play anymore. he was getting all the pleasure and i wasnt. so we became just friends. the marks i left on his back did make me smile. not letting him cum till i said was fun too.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/26/2005 9:14:06 AM)
LOL my former owner encouraged me to become a top in relationships. I think half the reason he did it was to make me sympathize with all the crap he has to put up with as the dom and not let me do it blindly anymore. I greatly enjoy topping. I don't know if I will ever consider myself a switch, but it certainly has helped me grow as a slave. But as with everyone, it's not for everyone.

ehlovindom -> RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/26/2005 9:22:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fp2012 Have any other subs tried taking the reigns before and switching roles (I mean subs here more than switches)? It definitely opened my eyes to how difficult it is to come up with stuff to do, and made me realize just how indecisive I am lol. What are your thoughts on it? I actually think it's a good idea if you've never tried it before... sure made me appreciate my Master's talent more than ever! Cheers, ~fp Unlike the majority, I think doing what you did should be done by both subs and doms for the reasons you pointed out and more. What better perspective to understand the responsibility given to you by your submissive than to experience being tied up at the hand of another? I know this is not a view shared by many but your actions allowed you to grow more as a submissive, recognize who you are and appreciate your master even more. Would the same not occur if the reverse happened? (Sits back and keeps his 6 month shitzu puppy away from the ceiling fan. I really don't have a puppy but I love the pun)!

michaelGA -> RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/26/2005 9:26:50 AM)
i have tried being Dom, online, of course. it was how i started out in the lifestyle, sometimes i think i would be better off going back to it. i might actually get to meet more people in real life this way...but it's not me.

veronicaofML -> RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/26/2005 9:30:55 AM)
the strap on made me wonder how can a guy do that. my back hurt and i got tired. ======== this is when you make the guy do the work.. Mistress had Hers strapped to Her leg and made me go up and down on it. it was one way of Her "claiming" Her boy...and it was 'a' way of stepping farther into my gurl side...

Shayna -> RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/26/2005 10:10:22 AM)
I sometimes top men and I have learned an enormous amount from the experience. With one man we switched roles halfway through the night and I decided that doesn't work for me at all - I can't switch with the same partner. It's clear to me that I'm hard wired as a submissive - I see the traits in my vanilla life, and submission is very intense for me emotionally and erotically. My "ideal" Dom would enjoy watching me top a boy if someone I clicked with came along. While I'm single, it's not a big deal, though I will only play with boys that aren't looking to me for me than just play.

Sensualips -> RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/26/2005 10:14:36 AM)
quote: but the strap on made me wonder how can a guy do that. Haha. The first time I used a strap on (on a woman) my thought was damn, how do men use these things any way! Not that I am a pro now by any means, but I did find the type of strap on and positions made a HUGE difference.

Yourkitten -> RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/26/2005 11:31:46 AM)
it kept getting in my way lol.

KatyLied -> RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/26/2005 1:02:17 PM)
I've always thought it might be fun to try and "top" someone. But not dominate them, at least not in the way that it means for me to be dominated. But perhaps if I were directed to top another person, that could be fun, who knows?

talltxsub -> RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/26/2005 1:21:58 PM)
I suppose it depends on a person's personality in general, as well as the roles they are used to filling. My day-to-day life requires me to be in charge of many things, which seems to suck any latent dominant traits out of me, the it is possible to "play the role" of being dominant.

tasha_tart -> RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/26/2005 1:22:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Yourkitten i did enjoy the flogger but the strap on made me wonder how can a guy do that. my back hurt and i got tired. If you are referring to the actual penetration part of it, I think a male performing it (without the strap-on of course) tends not perform for too long, due to the feedback he's getting.[:)] Tasha

wetsub000 -> RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/26/2005 1:42:16 PM)
I've done it a couple of times now. The first time was the worst, I was playing with a switch, but thought I'd made it clear that I only wanted to play the sub role. However half way through the night he untied me and said 'My turn now'. I was at a complete loss as to what to do, but did attempt to top him. It felt just as awkward as I'd imagined it would for me. I don't think I needed to experience that at all to get any sympathy for a Dom. On the other hand, I've topped a friend out at a club, he's a switch and it was fun doing to him things I know he likes. For me I guess it was the closest I've come to role-playing and that's how it felt, like I was acting a part.

addcted2it -> RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/26/2005 2:01:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fp2012 [Snip] It definitely opened my eyes to how difficult it is to come up with stuff to do, and made me realize just how indecisive I am lol. What are your thoughts on it? I actually think it's a good idea if you've never tried it before... sure made me appreciate my Master's talent more than ever! Cheers, ~fp Oh, yeah! It's hard work being a dominant. Who ever said that it wasn't? But I suppose that the real payoff for the dominant person would be the same level of intensity that a submissive or slave receives, but by way of causing the action and reaction rather than the other way around. It is not only entertaining but enlightening (for the sub or slave in particular) to make one's sub or slave try the dominant role, because you KNOW that if they are really submissive, they will have to work twice as hard to get the result. An interesting exercise, fur sure!

kiale -> RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/27/2005 7:42:55 AM)
I can do what I call co-topping. I can be supportive to a dom when he is dominating another, I can support a top who is providing sensation play to another--but I'm still clearly in the rung of command underneath the dom/top. I actually don't mind that kind of play, but don't ask me to run a scene--I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have a natural sense of pacing in the least.

ehlovindom -> RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/27/2005 11:50:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tasha_tart quote: ORIGINAL: Yourkitten i did enjoy the flogger but the strap on made me wonder how can a guy do that. my back hurt and i got tired. If you are referring to the actual penetration part of it, I think a male performing it (without the strap-on of course) tends not perform for too long, due to the feedback he's getting.[:)] Tasha Feedback? Is that what that was? I thought it was just interference from the stereo system. Ya learn something new everyday!

sub4hire -> RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/27/2005 1:55:28 PM)
quote: Hey there I'm back after a long break, with an interesting new experience under my belt. I identify as a submissive, and I know for a fact that being Dominant doesn't turn me on in the same way (i also can't bring myself to punish anyone but that's a different story). Anyway, a few weeks ago I had the opportunity to teach my new guy (who I'm introducing to BDSM) a thing or two about being in control. The only way I saw to go about this was to show him by being Dominant myself. Have any other subs tried taking the reigns before and switching roles (I mean subs here more than switches)? I knew which side of the fence I stood on at a very early age. Before people called the lifestyle BDSM. It was sexual dysfunction back then. I learned about it out of a textbook or two. I also had siblings who were much older than me who I could look at and tell they were submissive. Both married abuser's. So, for many years I fought who I was because I didn't want to be like them. I wanted to be loved and cherished. Not just for someones kicks to use and abuse me. So, in that arena yes I turned myself into the person I am today. Mentally I've never met a person I could not take a mind control hold over. Well, one. As far as physical punishment I don't have it within me either. I can hit a person when mad but everyone who knows even the simplest about the lifestyle knows a dominant doesn't lash out when angry. Have I ever had a sub? No, any desire, no. Yet have I mentally controlled people, yes I do it daily within my job. There is only one person in this world I strictly obey and that is my dom. To the rest I can care less how I am perceived.

mystictryst -> RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/27/2005 2:14:49 PM)
One night, I decided that he needed to know what it was to be on the bottom.. So I persueded him to let me "top" him... It ended (very quickly) with both of us laughing and we decided that it wouldn't happen again, mostly because it held no appeal for either of us. It was hard work being the Dom... It wasn't all about me, so that was a problem too.. g

littleone35 -> RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/27/2005 2:32:01 PM)
I was once asked to top and i could not do it. I really did try but it felt so untratural and i was ao akward he never asked again. I guess i am one of those subs who cannot do the top thing. I mean can't even play at being a top. Hey to those of you that can do it i say more powere to you. I just somehow can't. littleone

slavejali -> RE: subs who've ever tried to be Dominant? (12/27/2005 3:32:45 PM)
ive tried topping a few times, i felt awkward and out of place, i got no pleasure at all out of flogging someone, or telling them what to do, i couldn't appreciate the male bottoms enjoyment of it, or his willingness to be subserviant, it really turned me off majorally.

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