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freedslave -> Help Me (12/3/2008 7:12:37 PM)
New to this and not sure what to ask but respectfully please help me... my journal spells it out some...where is that line between master/slave and real life too much hurt...any advice? He wants me back if i expect less for the next year and let Him explore the lifestyle with and without me...does a slave stay and be hurt and left behind so to speak?

barelynangel -> RE: Help Me (12/3/2008 7:21:37 PM)
I am going to tell you what i tell every slave friend who has pretty much asked the should i stay or should i goo goo question. You will leave when the pain of staying becomes greater than the pain of leaving and you will leave when you are able too because he lets you. Many will freak out with the last part but if you take in the concept that exists in M/s it is the concept of mastery and enslavement, you will hopefully understand what that last part means. Good luck, angel

cjan -> RE: Help Me (12/3/2008 7:23:04 PM)
After reading your journal, and your post, I'm not sure what you are asking, freed. However, I'm just a stranger online and know nothing of you or your situation. Do you have any real friends that you can discuss this with ? I hope so. Good luck and best wishes.

lovingpet -> RE: Help Me (12/3/2008 7:26:53 PM)
What is going on in your relationship that has you considering leaving? What is there left in your relationship worth sticking it out? If you could clarify some, it would be helpful, but in the end only you can really determine what you need and what your limits are. Best wishes! lovingpet

freedslave -> RE: Help Me (12/3/2008 7:34:01 PM)
He wants me back...to change the relationship...not be "in love"...the timings off...He wants me to not date, stay home and with children while He explores the lifestyle...He wants me to be patient yet come over once a week and "play"...We built a dungeon together..we talked of a future He my Master and i His slave...floggings to vanilla...church on Sundays...dreams...He wants my service thats all now...how do u unlove ur Master and be a fuckbuddy?

KnightofMists -> RE: Help Me (12/3/2008 7:40:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedslave He wants me back...to change the relationship...not be "in love"...the timings off...He wants me to not date, stay home and with children while He explores the lifestyle...He wants me to be patient yet come over once a week and "play"...We built a dungeon together..we talked of a future He my Master and i His slave...floggings to vanilla...church on Sundays...dreams...He wants my service thats all now...how do u unlove ur Master and be a fuckbuddy? Frankly... at this point what he wants is rather irrelevant!!! The question you should ask is "WHAT DO YOU WANT"? figure that out.. and you will have a better idea of what you should do.

lovingpet -> RE: Help Me (12/3/2008 7:41:43 PM)
I don't know that he necessarily means it to be quite that flat. He may be more attempting to explore new areas. Perhaps there is a loss of direction or identity he is struggling with. I have no idea. If what he is asking is not something you can handle, then you have your answer. Are you seeking monogamy and he poly? If your expectations are that vastly different, I have to wonder what you are realistically able to hold on to. It is truly and ultimately your decision. lovingpet

Focus50 -> RE: Help Me (12/4/2008 1:39:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedslave New to this and not sure what to ask but respectfully please help me... my journal spells it out some...where is that line between master/slave and real life too much hurt...any advice? He wants me back if i expect less for the next year and let Him explore the lifestyle with and without me...does a slave stay and be hurt and left behind so to speak? You take the "slave" right out of the context and ask yourself what a mature adult would/should do with the options presented. Seems to me he wants the freedom to do as he likes with the security of you waiting around when he's in the mood. Sounds like most teenager's ideal relationship. As KnightofMists said, izzat what you want? Focus.

celticlord2112 -> RE: Help Me (12/4/2008 7:32:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedslave He wants me back...to change the relationship...not be "in love"...the timings off...He wants me to not date, stay home and with children while He explores the lifestyle...He wants me to be patient yet come over once a week and "play"...We built a dungeon together..we talked of a future He my Master and i His slave...floggings to vanilla...church on Sundays...dreams...He wants my service thats all now...how do u unlove ur Master and be a fuckbuddy? Darlin', the relationship hasn't changed a bit. He's getting exactly what he wanted in the first place--pussy on tap. That stuff he said about church on Sundays and dreams...the technical term for that is "LIE"--a common tactic for prying a girl's legs open.

DesFIP -> RE: Help Me (12/4/2008 7:45:42 AM)
Is a fuckbuddy relationship with someone you don't trust or like much enough for you? I'm suggesting you just say no. He doesn't feel about you the way you want your man to feel. At the same time he doesn't want to be without someone to beat and fuck. So he's asking you to be his booty call until he finds someone he does love. Don't you deserve more than that? Take time off and heal. Then go out to the dungeons, the munches etc by yourself. It he comes sniffing around tell him to go away. You're beautiful and you won't find any shortage of guys to date, play with who do like you and want you to be happy with what they do. No guesses as to when you'll find someone compatible to love and marry, but you have plenty of time for that. In the meantime, go do some volunteering for the holidays. It will make you feel good and you need that. Take the kids to hand out Christmas cards at a nursing home. Religion isn't just for Sunday morning.

Rule -> RE: Help Me (12/4/2008 7:53:35 AM)
FR I second Focus50 and celticlord2112. Natural slaves have powerful magic. Know your desire and be determined that it will happen.

agirl -> RE: Help Me (12/4/2008 8:46:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedslave He wants me back...to change the relationship...not be "in love"...the timings off...He wants me to not date, stay home and with children while He explores the lifestyle...He wants me to be patient yet come over once a week and "play"...We built a dungeon together..we talked of a future He my Master and i His slave...floggings to vanilla...church on Sundays...dreams...He wants my service thats all now...how do u unlove ur Master and be a fuckbuddy? He wants.......quite a lot of things. For you to wait while he moves ahead in his exploration. He wants to step back from the 'love' thing. He wants you not to date. He wants you to be patient. He wants you to play 'weekly'. He wants your service. As others have asked.......What do YOU want? Your expectations, hopes and desires don't match his. He's trotting down a route and doesn't want you alongside. That's fine. If YOU desire to wait, to step back, not date, be patient, play weekly and serve......then you'll do it and be content, up to a point. But your post and questions suggest that you will not. Cost/benefit........Is it worth it? Loving someone doesn't mean their wants and wishes are worthwhile or beneficial for you. agirl

agirl -> RE: Help Me (12/4/2008 8:48:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rule FR I second Focus50 and celticlord2112. Natural slaves have powerful magic. Know your desire and be determined that it will happen. What about the un-natural ones?. agirl

SassySarijane -> RE: Help Me (12/4/2008 9:39:29 AM)
Take slave and master out of the equation and sit down and think about what you need and want, what fulfills you and makes you happy. Sounds like you guys don't match. Go find your happiness since he's obviously searching for his without you. Don't you deserve better?

KnightofMists -> RE: Help Me (12/5/2008 3:51:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: Rule FR I second Focus50 and celticlord2112. Natural slaves have powerful magic. Know your desire and be determined that it will happen. What about the un-natural ones?. agirl They can fake it!!! w

Lashra -> RE: Help Me (12/5/2008 4:49:36 PM)
quote: He wants me to not date, stay home and with children This part I do not understand. Why would he not want you to date, but to stay home and with children if you aren't anything but playmates/fuck buddies? Is it so in case he doesn't meet someone he has you nicely tucked away to fall back on, or is it because he is just being selfish, both maybe? Tread carefully is my best advice and I would counter his offer with, I will date just like you are and we will see how it goes from there. If he bolts, I don't think you have really lost much. ~Lashra

scottjk -> RE: Help Me (12/5/2008 7:55:30 PM)
If this isn't what you agreed to at the beginning, then it's time to bring it to a close. Slaves as property need care, not neglect, or they'll rapidly lose value. Translation: He's not taking care of your needs, emotionally and you're at risk for more neglect if you continue on this path with him. I know you love him, but he's gotten lost and doesn't appear to have a sense of purpose or direction. I'm making a lot of assumptions here, I know, so I'll say this much. The kids are a priority.

DomDG -> RE: Help Me (12/5/2008 9:41:53 PM)
My question would be is this a strictly M/s thing or a 'marriage' thing? Because for me there is a big difference between Master and slave coming to an end and a marriage. There are moral issues in both, but legal issues in the latter. I, like others probably don't know enough to give deep well centered advise. I can say that if it's a marriage involved, this sounds a lot like a mid life crisis on his part. Which is hard all around. One might ask if he is seeking other or another? There are differences here. One list question I have do you have a BDSM group in your area where you to can go and maybe learn more about all this life has to offer? For us the group is so much a part of our life. As to what to do, only you can really answer that. Only you can know what YOU need as others have said. I am sorry you find yourself in this position. D

myotherself -> RE: Help Me (12/5/2008 11:18:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lashra quote: He wants me to not date, stay home and with children This part I do not understand. Why would he not want you to date, but to stay home and with children if you aren't anything but playmates/fuck buddies? Is it so in case he doesn't meet someone he has you nicely tucked away to fall back on, or is it because he is just being selfish, both maybe? Tread carefully is my best advice and I would counter his offer with, I will date just like you are and we will see how it goes from there. If he bolts, I don't think you have really lost much. ~Lashra I'm with Lashra on this one. He doesn't want a romantic relationship with you, he just wants to fuck you when he feels like it. So if he's not your bf/partner/whatever, why are you letting him dictate how you live your life? Either you're a couple and he gets a say, or you're not and he gets what you want to give him. There's a fine line between 'slave' and 'doormat', and he thinks you have 'welcome' tattooed on your ass...

NihilusZero -> RE: Help Me (12/6/2008 10:41:47 AM)
With the situation as presented, agreeing to his offer will leave you in an emotionally unreciprocated relationship. Heck, the reason you are even entertaining being in an emotively barren relationship with him is specifically because of your lingering emotional attachment. If you are not even remotely attracted to the idea of a purely casual sex dynamic with him, then then there isn't even a decision for you to make.

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