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KnightofMists -> RE: What is a Lifestyle friendship for you? (4/2/2006 9:30:15 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub
To KoM...After reading your post.This thought popped into my head (ouch)..when you were first talking with kyra for that year before R/L did you not ,though you had not met or had shared any R/L experiences,consider her a friend?And another thought that came up and possibly simplistic or totally oranges and apples, but let me try anyway.When you state that friendship come from shared experiences,I came up with a comparison whereas say a woman gives up child to adoption,child adopted considers adoptive parents as parents because was there for them in life experiences.But yet though child has never met birth parent cannot one say that both parents were actually part of this childs growth process one actively so ,the other not at all,but still a part of who that child has become.So maybe my thought is this..,maybe not active in R/T with you but nonetheless friendship enough to have had possibly a small shaping of your thought processes.So hence acquaintance? or friendship?......(I am now only hoping this made any sense at all)..tempting
actually no... I didn't consider her a friend. What I new of her was very extensive even for an online/phone situation. But, We were then two people getting to know each other... we saw potential for more. But, it was only potential and until we were able to validate what we suspect within ourselves.. I was but a Dominant with lifestyle experience and she was but a person newly discovering the lifestyle wanting to learn. Our relationship actually began as an very informal mentorship. I was very direct right in the beginning. That there would be and could be nothing but mentorship if we never met and realistically even if we should meet I would expect only a friendship of a minor scale. It was my expectation that I was only providing thoughts for her to consider as she began to learn about the lifestyle and herself within it. I also told her that I expected her to disappear from me... that what was occuring was only a passing shared interest and when her thirst for what I could give her was enough she would carry on and look for the one that was for her. But, it wasn't me.... famous last words lol Her desire to learn and mine to exercise my knowledge by teaching her what I knew, we began as a mentorship. As time went on she knew that if she desired to have any type of relationship with me beyond mentorship she would have to come and see me. I am not sure how long she held these desires from me, but when she did share.. it did have a significant impact on the path we traveled.
My expectations became suspect... in fact... other possiblities became possible that I did not consider. We shared alot of thoughts for each other. But, we never called each other friend or even acquaintances. In fact, our informal mentorship for her learn my perspective of the lifestyle, became an interview process. It became a mentorship on learning what it is to be a slave and more importantly what it is to be a slave to ME!
I was very determined to be resolute on not sharing any specific feelings I precieved for her and I wouldn't entertain hearing her feelings and thoughts that she felt about me. In fact, I told her this all could be just a wild fantasy that we are living. When you feel my touch and I feel yours... one look into each others eyes.. then and only then can we say what we feel to be real.
Besides spending much of the time learning what it was to be a slave to me, we also spent alot of time learning about who the other person was. Each other's experiences and opinions on an array of thoughts. Both every day stuff and the lifestyle. I encouraged her to learn from others and strongly suggested that she visit a local community event. Interestly enough, one of the first events she went to was an opportunity to meet John Warren. She remembered me talking about his book and how much I enjoyed it. She also remembered that I was upset that the copy I had was never returned to me after I had loaned it out. This lovely girl was so intent to meet me, she bought a copy of "The Loving Dominant" and brought it to me signed by JW.
In hindsight, that fact my relationship with kyra has occurred is all because of kyra herself. Yes, I had to be what she was looking for and all that stuff. But, my expectations was this was going to pass. That the shared interests would dwindle and we would go our seperate ways. For I was not going to make the trip to see kyra all the way to florida. I might of had hope, but I also had fantasies... and fantasies don't come true. Dreams do! When kyra came thru the airport doors... I must say... It was like the past months whip thru my mind. The realization that this wasn't a fantasy anymore... that this was a Dream and now this moment today... I can take a girl and make her mine. That is exactly what I did.
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