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Rover -> RE: Submissive and Doormats (12/7/2008 8:59:01 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf
Rover, I have never seen you use terms such as this, so I have always been willing to engage you.
I appreciate your recognition that, although my style may ruffle a few feathers, I'm not prone to statements like that. Unfortunately, your not representative of all the folks on the Gorean forum (nor should you be). Many of them do not distinguish between difficult questions, and expressions that should be modified.
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Forums such as this quickly degenerate into name calling and insults when posters use terms as Stella did, and why the mods have put prohibitions against it in the guidelines.
It's a fine line between allowing folks to express their own opinions, and enforcing guidelines. No one envies the Mods for having to do so. But name calling and insults ARE an everyday occurance on these boards, and is no particular slight against Gor or Goreans. Folks here are equal opportuntiy offenders.
Reflexively invoking the Mods and the guidelines makes it appear that you (and by extension, all Goreans) are thin skinned.
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You can believe that the invitation is not genuine if you like, and that makes for a great excuse to not accept it, but it is genuine.
Allow me to elaborate... the extension you offer to engage in disucsion on the Gorean boards is very likely genuine on a personal level. And that would be well and good, if you were the Moderator on that board. But you're not, and we all know who is and how sensitive that person is to discussion that they, personally, do not enjoy or that does not portray them, personally, favorably.
The offer is not genuine because the standards on the Gorean forum differ than the standards here. And the expectations of the majority (and the Moderator) on the Gorean forum is that folks like us should be seen and not heard. I base this upon extensive personal experience.
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If you wish to actually have some deep discussions that go into more detail about the philosphy without the M/s involvement, try www.silkandsteel.com . Some of the best minds in the Gorean Community post there.
That may indeed be a more genuine forum for discussion. My reference was to the specific invitation to the forum here at CollarMe.
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I suppose maybe it would have been more acceptable to just sling insults back at Stella about some of her life choices or paths?
We all have choices when our lifstyles are challenged or insulted. We can respond with humor, sarcasm, insult, complaint, try to elevate the discussion, etc. We can even question the offender to ask if what they wrote was actually what they meant. All of us have omitted key words like "most" or "many" on occasion, that significantly changes the perception and meaning of a statement.
Had you taken issue with the statement on the grounds that as an absolute, it could not possibly be true, you would have found much agreement and support here. For lots of folks, their only contact and experience with Goreans are the (very) unrealistic online stereotype. Give it a try and see what you get.
John
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