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holiday identity slip - 12/27/2005 10:54:40 AM   
nelbot


Posts: 95
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline 		Hi folks, after all the stress of cooking and family visits and assembling santa gifts I was laying in bed last night thinking how I felt that I had lost some of that sub headspace I had been working so hard to build on and kindle in myself. I was laying there and I just felt ordinary, like I wasn't centered on my service at all. Now I am not collared, maybe it helps if you are collared living 24/7 with your Master (in fact I'm sure if does help keep you centered to have your Master right there to lay his hands on you and remind you of your center and help you keep your focus). Did any other non-collared subs feel any identity slip over the holidays? How are you coping with it now?

_____________________________

In life there are no winners, only saints and sinners
of pleasure and pain both have their gain for
what is a devil but an angel in bondage?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: holiday identity slip - 12/27/2005 11:00:02 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Did any other non-collared subs feel any identity slip over the holidays? How are you coping with it now?


Nope :) But my submissive personality does not take holidays...it is always there, 24/7, 365 days a year...just because I get up every morning, go to work, come home and make decisions does not mean that I ever lose who I am. Sometimes, around the holidays, I become sad that there is no one to shower it upon, but that does not mean that its gone. I just smile, be happy that I have what I do have in my life, and use that to go on another day.

(in reply to nelbot)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: holiday identity slip - 12/27/2005 11:01:03 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nelbot
Did any other non-collared subs feel any identity slip over the holidays? How are you coping with it now?

I get this feeling after a good long kink convention. I go back to the "real world" and get very bad drop, like I want to just scream at people "Yes I'm kinky and slutty! Deal with it!"

So I've learned to take a day off and give myself time to readjust, saves me a lot of emotional stress.

For you, try meditation and focusing exercises. Remind yourself that you are not what you wear, how you act, what you say, but you are simply who you are, and that won't change. Center yourself again.

No one FEELS that yummy submissiveness all the time. But you can work to KNOW yourself and at least be calm in that.

(in reply to nelbot)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: holiday identity slip - 12/27/2005 11:41:38 AM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		Odd. I don't normally "feel submissive" at all - but after the holidays and kids ordering me to bring batteries STAT, cooking for family, rushing out to buy last minutes gifts as signs of devotion, and quietly cleaning up miles of empty soda cans and wrapping paper -- I felt pretty service oriented. :)

(in reply to nelbot)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: holiday identity slip - 12/27/2005 12:18:02 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		I always try to remain centered, but it is often difficult. I need daily reminders of what I am about and who I am grateful for. This includes lifestyle friends and nill ones...in other words...continue to count your blessings.
This will keep you centered in life and focusing on what is important to you.

Peace, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to Sensualips)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: holiday identity slip - 12/27/2005 2:14:58 PM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Did any other non-collared subs feel any identity slip over the holidays? How are you coping with it now?


Oh this is very interesting. Thank you for this post. I've been with my Master a year now, however we do not live together and had minimal contact over the holidays.

Normally, i keep a strong headspace on my own and I dont need him to put me there.

Oddly, today I certainly havent been in that headspace and I havent even wanted to talk to my Master (which is extremely different) and I cant figure out why... no issues there, so perhaps Im dealing with some of this holiday identity slip.... not sure, but i can assure you Master wont allow my quietness to go on for too long...he is a huge proponent of communication even if i cant figure out why Im not communicating (smile)

BTs willing

_____________________________

Definitely A Journey!

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: holiday identity slip - 12/27/2005 4:15:52 PM   
nelbot


Posts: 95
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline 		That's it exactly, I just feel uninterested yesterday. My dom and I spoke the other night and he asked what I was wearing to bed to which I honestly replied that I was in sweats and a T-shirt and he said that's not very sexy and I said well I don't feel very sexy tonight.

My aunt's drive me crazy and I bite my tongue and smile and nod and try to keep cool, I work hard cooking for two days for a feast, there was santa and every thing else and I just felt plain and nilla after all that.

I haven't had that sort of slip in my feelings like that in many months now so I tried to manage by some self imposed under the clothes bondage today to help me refocus, some affirmations and so on and I am feeling much better now but it was an odd disorienting feeling while it lasted, wasn't it?

_____________________________

In life there are no winners, only saints and sinners
of pleasure and pain both have their gain for
what is a devil but an angel in bondage?

(in reply to willing2serve)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: holiday identity slip - 12/27/2005 4:40:36 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		ummm,,, I find sweats and t-shirts...very sexy.....to each there own.

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to nelbot)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: holiday identity slip - 12/27/2005 5:19:47 PM   
LindaLashes


Posts: 170
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nelbot

Hi folks, after all the stress of cooking and family visits and assembling santa gifts I was laying in bed last night thinking how I felt that I had lost some of that sub headspace I had been working so hard to build on and kindle in myself. I was laying there and I just felt ordinary, like I wasn't centered on my service at all. Now I am not collared, maybe it helps if you are collared living 24/7 with your Master (in fact I'm sure if does help keep you centered to have your Master right there to lay his hands on you and remind you of your center and help you keep your focus). Did any other non-collared subs feel any identity slip over the holidays? How are you coping with it now?


I always wandered into my sub headspace during my christmas holiday wich I spent a long way from my mistress, and I wont see her until the beginning of january... It wont be a problem for me but I do miss her alot.

_____________________________

Smack me around and call me Suzy...

(in reply to nelbot)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: holiday identity slip - 12/27/2005 8:39:43 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Actually, I'm comtemplating sucicide?
So, don't listen to me

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to LindaLashes)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: holiday identity slip - 12/27/2005 8:56:33 PM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I haven't had that sort of slip in my feelings like that in many months now so I tried to manage by some self imposed under the clothes bondage today to help me refocus, some affirmations and so on and I am feeling much better now but it was an odd disorienting feeling while it lasted, wasn't it?


That's it exactly...an uninterested feeling..Im not in a bad mood at all...certainly not a feeling that i make a habit. Hmmm trying to think of some things like you did to get me back in that headspace.

My Master notices this mood immediately and normally he will allow me a day or so to get myself together before he really says something or intervenes. So, the clock is ticking...smile.

Glad you are getting there!

_____________________________

Definitely A Journey!

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: holiday identity slip - 12/28/2005 6:19:45 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane
Actually, I'm comtemplating sucicide?
So, don't listen to me

If that is an attempt at humor...you really missed the mark with that one.

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 12
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