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Rules For Subs - 12/8/2008 8:16:03 PM   
MadAxeman


Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline 		Rules For Subs
 
1. I will not hum the theme from Jeopardy while Master decides which implement to spank me with.
2. I will not annotate Master's "To Do" list.
3. I will not applaud when Master uses big words.
4. Master's dog does NOT stink.
5. I will not genuflect at Master's erection.
6. Master does NOT hog the bed.
7. I will not refer to Master's kitty as "snake food."
8. I will not snigger at the pronunciation of Master's commands.
9. I will not perform a ventriloquist act with Master's penis.
10. I will not imitate Master's accent.
11. Master's chair is not to be used to pile my clutter.
12. I will keep my leopard print sheets laundered so that Master is not subjected to "those flowery things."
13. I will not yawn while waiting for Master to climax.
14. I will not chew my collar.
15. I will not giggle during paddlings.
16. I will not propose letter grades when Master belches.
17. I will not snarl when Master asks me to share my chocolate.
18. I will not tell Master he has permission to fuck me.
19. I will not say "good boy" to Master.
20. I will not make shadow puppets in the candlelight while Master is tying me up.
21. I will not critique how Master ties me up.
22. I will not masturbate after Master falls asleep.
23. I will not get caught speeding when borrowing Master's car during lunch.
24. When Master is kind enough to bring me a cup of tea, I will not call him "the tea fairy."
25. No matter how much Master adores me, he does not get down on his knees to do so.
26. I will not yell at the other slaves.
27. I will not change the settings on Master's alarm clock.
28. I will not deliberately mispronounce words to confuse Master.
29. It is unlikely that Master pushed all the covers onto my side of the bed so he could shiver all night.
30. If I don't like the settings on Master's car radio, I can drive my own car.
31. I will not tell Master to go away.
32. I will not accuse Master of being gay when he arranges his driftwood in "artistically pleasing ways."
33. Or his candles.
34. Or his doilies.
35. I am always the spankee; I am never the spanker.
36. I will keep my greasy fingertips off Master's computer screen.
37. I will not eat Master's leftovers without permission.
38. When asked how many spanks my misbehavior warrants, I will not answer using fractions.
39. I will not write on Master's back the night before his doctor's appointment.
40. I will not play connect-the-dots with Master's moles.
41. I will not make lengthy "to do" lists for Master.
42. On second thoughts, I WILL applaud when Master uses big words (this overrides rule 3).
43. Hooting and whistling, however, is excessive.
44. Master is the judge of whether or not I am a moron.
45. I will be spanked if I leave the caps off Master's pens.
46. If it becomes obvious that I'm deliberately leaving the caps off Master's pens, I will not be spanked. Even if I beg.
47. A warm Master is a happy Master.
48. I will not hoot with laughter when Master accidentally whacks himself on the back of the head with the flogger.
49. When eating cornflakes and Master tells a good joke, I will laugh until milk runs out of my nose!
50. Despite His strict instructions to the contrary, I will seek to do the same to Master

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RE: Rules For Subs - 12/8/2008 8:27:34 PM   
toddlefeet


Posts: 129
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline 		ROFLMFAO! THAT is funny as hell!

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RE: Rules For Subs - 12/8/2008 8:42:20 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Lmfao...

I'm guilty of

3. I will not applaud when Master uses big words.
4. Master's dog does NOT stink.
12. I will keep my leopard print sheets laundered so that Master is not subjected to "those flowery things."  (He calls them my granny sheets)
29. It is unlikely that Master pushed all the covers onto my side of the bed so he could shiver all night.   (SO fricking guilty... I am blanket hog)
30. If I don't like the settings on Master's car radio, I can drive my own car. (BUTTON PUSH!!)
48. I will not hoot with laughter when Master accidentally whacks himself on the back of the head with the flogger.  (What if I point and laugh??)

He's peeked over my shoulder and made some extra suggestions...

51) I will not wake him up suddenly while I am wearing full Fx makeup and blackout contacts
52) When directed to go get the flogger, I will not make the dog do it.
53) I will not pet and baby talk the cat while being tied up.






< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 12/8/2008 8:46:35 PM >

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RE: Rules For Subs - 12/8/2008 9:52:04 PM   
elegantalexis


Posts: 237
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		54.  When told to get the paddle, I am to NOT tell the dog to get it.
55.  Ditto on the wand and riding crop.
56.  I will not refer to Master's nap as "quiet time".
57.  I must not fuss over Master like I would a child.

Added...so far I have to go to the restroom from laughing too hard!

< Message edited by elegantalexis -- 12/8/2008 9:55:30 PM >

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Subbies to 12 cats...

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RE: Rules For Subs - 12/8/2008 10:01:25 PM   
MarksFantasyGirl


Posts: 3660
Joined: 10/13/2005
Status: offline 		10. I will not imitate Master's accent.
Oh, Come ON!!  Your accent it HOT!!

12. I will keep my leopard print sheets laundered so that Master is not subjected to "those flowery things."
Sweets only MAKES His bed when He knows I'm coming over... lol Makes it look like He cares about His room. lol

15. I will not giggle during paddlings.
GUILTY!!!

16. I will not propose letter grades when Master belches.
I usually just say "That was soooooo Weak!!"

24. When Master is kind enough to bring me a cup of tea, I will not call him "the tea fairy."
Does muttering "BITCH!" Count?? lol
 
29. It is unlikely that Master pushed all the covers onto my side of the bed so he could shiver all night.
Oh, But He DOES!  He was sleeping! How does He know??

31. I will not tell Master to go away.
Ok, Fine.... "LEAVE ME ALONE!" then!

35. I am always the spankee; I am never the spanker.
But..... But..... :(

37. I will not eat Master's leftovers without permission.
Hell no!  I know how He flips on His sister for that! lol


44. Master is the judge of whether or not I am a moron.
Then I guess, I am a moron!

46. If it becomes obvious that I'm deliberately leaving the caps off Master's pens, I will not be spanked. Even if I beg.
Please?!?!?!
48. I will not hoot with laughter when Master accidentally whacks himself on the back of the head with the flogger.
I'mma have SERIOUS problems with this one

Oh, Yeah... And One more thing....
 
  HEHEHE!!

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--Fannie
AKA Savage's Fantasy
AKA Girl Dave
AKA Resident Flirt
AKA Sexy Hawt Woman

~*~Happily and proudly collared by my best friend~*~

Quitcher bitchen, and get out of the kitchen! ~Harry {3rdRock}

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RE: Rules For Subs - 12/8/2008 10:02:56 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: elegantalexis

54.  When told to get the paddle, I am to NOT tell the dog to get it.



But it's such a cool trick!!!


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RE: Rules For Subs - 12/8/2008 10:11:51 PM   
MadAxeman


Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline 		Teethmarks on toys always make you look more committed when having company over for play.

< Message edited by MadAxeman -- 12/8/2008 10:15:09 PM >

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RE: Rules For Subs - 12/8/2008 10:17:52 PM   
futuremilf23


Posts: 20
Joined: 12/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadAxeman

20. I will not make shadow puppets in the candlelight while Master is tying me up.



hahahaha


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RE: Rules For Subs - 12/8/2008 10:20:35 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Goodness, thank you for the late night laugh.  Shall we continue????

58.  I will not laugh when Mistress is so far gone into Top space that she walks into a wall.

59.  Farting during trampling is not acceptable.

60.  I will tolerate Mistress' insomnia, or her snoring.  Whichever comes first.




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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: Rules For Subs - 12/8/2008 10:35:02 PM   
MakeMeSmile4U


Posts: 710
Joined: 4/27/2008
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		61.  I will remember that uttering the words "Oh my G-d, THAT is beautiful" is NOT an acceptable form of cock worship

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"And of course you can't become if you only say what you would have done, so I missed a million miles of fun"~Len

"Do all those things that you do to me, ya know what I mean boy... Do all those things that you do to me, yeah.." ~The Cult

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RE: Rules For Subs - 12/8/2008 10:39:06 PM   
futuremilf23


Posts: 20
Joined: 12/3/2008
Status: offline 		61a. Nor is "Awww, it's so cute."

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Share your smile with all, save your kiss for One.

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RE: Rules For Subs - 12/8/2008 10:39:51 PM   
MakeMeSmile4U


Posts: 710
Joined: 4/27/2008
From: South Florida
Status: offline

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"And of course you can't become if you only say what you would have done, so I missed a million miles of fun"~Len

"Do all those things that you do to me, ya know what I mean boy... Do all those things that you do to me, yeah.." ~The Cult

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RE: Rules For Subs - 12/8/2008 10:41:27 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		Max....

youre so fukkn sexy i dont know what to do with myself right now...

32. I will not accuse Master of being gay when he arranges his driftwood in "artistically pleasing ways."
33. Or his candles.
34. Or his doilies.

lmao
perse

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And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

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RE: Rules For Subs - 12/8/2008 10:47:59 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		51) I will not splooge massage oil into his buttcrack while giving him a back massage. 

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RE: Rules For Subs - 12/9/2008 5:24:20 AM   
freyjasdottir


Posts: 253
Joined: 8/29/2006
From: PA
Status: offline 		19. I will not say "good boy" to Master.


hehehe ummmm how about texting it to him? 

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RE: Rules For Subs - 12/9/2008 9:50:40 PM   
kinkienesss


Posts: 198
Joined: 3/22/2008
Status: offline 		lmfao i needed a mighnight giggle

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My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!

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RE: Rules For Subs - 12/10/2008 2:15:23 AM   
MadAxeman


Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline 		Perse, we ALL know what you're doing with yourself right now. You never stop.
And thank Gawd for that.
XX

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RE: Rules For Subs - 12/10/2008 9:24:52 AM   
GoodFeathers


Posts: 202
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MakeMeSmile4U

61.  I will remember that uttering the words "Oh my G-d, THAT is beautiful" is NOT an acceptable form of cock worship


what about "Holy Goddess!  Where do you want me to put THAT?" followed up by, "Are you sure it'll fit?!"


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RE: Rules For Subs - 12/10/2008 10:50:41 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

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PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


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RE: Rules For Subs - 12/10/2008 7:49:56 PM   
MarksFantasyGirl


Posts: 3660
Joined: 10/13/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoodFeathers

quote:

ORIGINAL: MakeMeSmile4U

61.  I will remember that uttering the words "Oh my G-d, THAT is beautiful" is NOT an acceptable form of cock worship


what about "Holy Goddess!  Where do you want me to put THAT?" followed up by, "Are you sure it'll fit?!"



How's about "You want to put that WHERE?!?!  awwwww HELLLLL NAW!!!!"  lol   "Yes it's big... Yes, I love it... No, I do NOT want that THERE!"  lol

_____________________________

--Fannie
AKA Savage's Fantasy
AKA Girl Dave
AKA Resident Flirt
AKA Sexy Hawt Woman

~*~Happily and proudly collared by my best friend~*~

Quitcher bitchen, and get out of the kitchen! ~Harry {3rdRock}

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