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RE: cyber unattachement - 12/9/2008 8:59:46 PM

celticlord2112

Posts: 5732
Status: offline

quote:

my question is: Why Doms seems to think that they own you by the simple fact that you chat together?

You're conflating Dom and Dumb....

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Post #: 21

RE: cyber unattachement - 12/10/2008 1:00:11 AM

Feliciasub

Posts: 75
Joined: 11/26/2008
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The conversation ended on this '' appologizes ''

As my Mom always told me : there are planty of fish in the sea. i just have to learn to be patient and wait for the right person for me.

In the mean time talking with you A/all really helped me to relief the stress. it is not like BDSM relationships can be discuss around table at dinner

i mean , i don't picture myself talking to my family or friends about that. my first reflexe was to post a subject in here, where i know people can understand me and help me find the good path.

Again thank you very much for the listening and advises you A/all gave me. As a newbbie it is much appreciated

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Post #: 22

RE: cyber unattachement - 12/10/2008 2:52:25 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Feliciasub

Thank you for your answers. I actually stopped talking to Him.

The real question was: is it common that Doms act like this ? i find those behaviors rudes and disrespectfull

Thank You

felicia

Hello felicia,
Do Doms act like this? No. Bullies do. Stalkers do. Jerks do.
You are new to the lifestyle, but you are still a grown up.
This is dating! would you get engaged to some guy because he sent you a list of what he wants in a wife?
good luck,
*tgfka sunshine

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Post #: 23

RE: cyber unattachement - 12/10/2008 9:09:21 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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Is this common? not in my experience. Master lets me talk to whomever i want to. Do they own me nope. Just cause you talk to someone, and read some doucument does not mean ownership.

Matt's littleone

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Post #: 24

RE: cyber unattachement - 12/10/2008 12:24:10 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
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First off it's only common for online players. If you go buy the tights next you'll have to pose in them on cam but ofcourse he won't be able to turn on his cam because of xyz reasons and on and on. By listening and continuing correspondence you are in fact encouraging the behavoir.

Do not encourage bad behavoir and wankers

The little "x" at the top of the chat box is a wonderful way to get rid of unwanted communication.

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RE: cyber unattachement - 12/10/2008 5:20:04 PM

BLGirl

Posts: 209
Joined: 10/17/2008
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I would tell you he only owns you if you allow it. Others have told you plenty. I don't believe any Dom would suggest that they own anyone over the net. If they do they are ignorant to what reality is.

Just my 2 cents

Daddy of BLGirl

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Post #: 26

RE: cyber unattachement - 12/11/2008 8:56:59 PM

bipede

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/6/2008
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He does sound like a novice. He knows he likes being in charge, is happy that he's getting some response from you, but isn't quite sure how to seal the deal. And yes, no doubt, he's all horny at the idea of having his way with you all done up in his fave hosiery, and is therefore a bit clumsy in his seduction schtick.

Still, stop the hate. Lots of guys are a bit awkward. Internet dating is pretty unnatural at the best of times. D/s is deeply countercultural and difficult to navigate, for men as well as women.

He might not be the right dom for you, but he's not necessarily mentally challenged, a moron, a douche, a creeper, etc., etc.

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Post #: 27

RE: cyber unattachement - 12/24/2008 10:33:55 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Feliciasub

Thank you for your answers. I actually stopped talking to Him.

The real question was: is it common that Doms act like this ? i find those behaviors rudes and disrespectfull

Thank You

felicia

Felicia,

In point of fact, he is simply a pretender that does not have a clue.

CP

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Post #: 28

RE: cyber unattachement - 12/24/2008 1:48:06 PM

Aszhrae

Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
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Feliciasub,
There will always be the One that touches you beyond the physical. That you get the sense that they know you and you should know them. It is not very often that this occurs and you can not really predict when it happens, it just does.
Like so many Ds, Ms, subs and slaves. It happens, a connection.
Now I don't know if they would share their initial experience but it doesn't hurt to ask. Such insight is valuable and it may just help you in finding the right One for you.

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Post #: 29

RE: cyber unattachement - 12/24/2008 5:05:44 PM

NefertariReborn

Posts: 381
Status: offline

As usual no one reads the entire thread before posting and so longgggggg after the problem has been solved, the deluge of advice. You people just like seeing your post on here admit it.

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Post #: 30

RE: cyber unattachement - 12/24/2008 11:51:29 PM

Aszhrae

Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
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What is to say that despite the OP having apologized, that the other posts contributed by other members of CM does not help someone else?
Do not see the point in getting so bent out of shape about posts made after the fact.

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Post #: 31

RE: cyber unattachement - 12/25/2008 12:08:35 AM

WhiplashSmile2

Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
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OK, you met a Dominant who also happens to be an asshole at the same time.

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Post #: 32

RE: cyber unattachement - 12/25/2008 12:24:31 PM

NefertariReborn

Posts: 381
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

What is to say that despite the OP having apologized, that the other posts contributed by other members of CM does not help someone else?
Do not see the point in getting so bent out of shape about posts made after the fact.

Bent out of shape? Obviously you're not good at reading two dimensional tone. It's an epidemic I hear. I was supine in a straight line, shaking My head at the time. THE POINT ISSSSSSSS you're all saying the same goshdarn thing. Not an original idea after the third or so post. Ummmmmmm paraphrasing someone else for the zillionth time is not creative. If when you read the replies yours seems I don't know somehow SIMILAR....well, you get the idea.

Now just to be clear again. I'm lying in a straight line, well My arms are slightly elevated but that doesn't count as bent out of shape (IMO anyway). TTFN

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“How will you become a clear mirror if you resent being polished

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Post #: 33

RE: cyber unattachement - 12/25/2008 1:26:28 PM

jen182

Posts: 495
Joined: 11/29/2008
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quote:

The real question was: is it common that Doms act like this ?

Real Doms no, but Doms that are new i.e. dont know what they are doing, or people looking to play people yes

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Post #: 34

RE: cyber unattachement - 12/25/2008 10:04:23 PM

devotedinSD

Posts: 91
Joined: 11/30/2008
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He's disconnected from reality, that's why. Where's the consent here? He's just implying it, stay away from a guy like that.

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Post #: 35

RE: cyber unattachement - 12/26/2008 5:06:30 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Feliciasub

here is a picture of the situation: I met a Dom online, we exchanged few words in a room. Then he asked me to ad him to MSN wich i did because sometimes it is easier to chat over there. At the beggining He was very respectfull.

One of the first question i asked Him is how He sees a D/s relation. He sent me a document about the rules He wants a sub to follow. my first tought was: ''Wow finaly someone who knows what he wants.'' not all the rules where ''ok'' with me and i told Him. He told me that it was ok and that W/we shall stay in touch only for chatting about the lifestyle. I agreed on that. So far so good as they say.

W/we once discuss that maybe W/we could meet and play a bit T/together. I insist on the fact that i would be submissive for the play ( when we meet ) but as long as i am unowned, i would continue to live the way i decided. He told me that i was already his sub by the simple fact that i read the document He sent me....
At that point I would have started laughing and told him where to stick it, but that's me.

Then he started to be rude with me and acting like i was his property. He told me that tights ( pantyhose, stockings etc ) were a HUGE turn on for Him. He kept asking me ( everyday ) if i had bought some. Wich i didn't because i didn't had time to go at the store to buy some. He Started to tell me how i would pay for that and that i am a bad sub etc....
Well after his crack about owning you, it doesn't really surprise me that he is also rude.

my question is: Why Doms seems to think that they own you by the simple fact that you chat together?
Doms don't.....some men do, but your going to find asshats in any group of people....I would take that as a sign that I didn't want any more to do with them and be grateful I hadn't wasted any more time on them.

i mean i am to be owned but i wont fall for the first Dom.

i hope you understood, english is not my first language ;)

felicia

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Post #: 36

RE: cyber unattachement - 12/26/2008 6:09:33 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
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felicia, I'd advise you to stay away from this clown. If he had honestly told you that he was learning and asked if he could learn with you, that'd be one thing. But he's pretending that he knows what he's doing and something inside you thinks he does. So when he tries different things and they work or don't work, you think that this is what Doms are like.

I'm a Dom. As such, I do get off on power trips and controlling a sub. That said, I do not bark orders at anyone till I feel she's ready, nor do I throw tantrums, etc.

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RE: cyber unattachement - 12/26/2008 7:45:34 AM

CatdeMedici

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Joined: 10/20/2008
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because there are submissives who allow it.

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Post #: 38

RE: cyber unattachement - 12/28/2008 2:03:28 AM

BondageBarbieX

Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
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Oh,I get that all the time.I get Doms all the time that think they own me because I talked to their foolishness.I cut them off,all communication stopped and block them.Over eagerness is ugly in a Dominant and makes them look desperate.I will not even take a look at a contact until I am pretty sure I want to serve them.

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