How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people @ the same time?

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How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship ... - 12/9/2008 3:48:22 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I have always wanted a very sexual relationship, since I have issues I'd like to over come and I wanted to learn to be multi orgasmic and stuff, so sex would be very important, but I was always leary of advertising the sexual side, for fear of attracting even more insta submission and insta sex dom types.

For me I feel a relation ship is like baking a cake, and you follow the same steps to bake a cake as you do a relationship. You decide what kind of cake you want, then you go shopping for the cake batter then you mix it and prepair it, then you put it in the over, bake it and frost it. With eating it being the final outcome. Sex to me would be the final outcome in making a kinky relationship.

How did you when you were single, or how do you now, advertise sexual needs up front in the profile and at the same time find people who had the qualities you wanted and were not insta sex "doms" ?

Post #: 1

RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltions... - 12/9/2008 3:51:42 PM

FRSguy

Posts: 653
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

You will probably get that to some degree no matter what you do. Its just a matter of weading through the trash until you find something you like wether you say just hi on your profile or state that you want wild kinky sex.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 2

RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltions... - 12/9/2008 3:56:13 PM

KyttynTheMynx

Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline

You could put "I like rainbows" in your profile and STILL get bombarded by scuzzbags.. You gotta do the work and see which ones are real, and which ones need to get real.

_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

"Kyttyn: The Other White Meat!" - DRH

10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to FRSguy)

Post #: 3

RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltions... - 12/9/2008 3:56:52 PM

E2Sweet

Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline

I don't include much along the lines of sexual interests in my profile at all... In my experience, it just draws out the trolls and is not worth the hassle it brings.

_____________________________

E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

(in reply to FRSguy)

Post #: 4

RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltions... - 12/9/2008 4:04:21 PM

lally3

Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline

hey hun,

bottom line is most of us are after sex to some degree or another, we're adults and its pretty much a given unless its stipulated from the start that there will be no sex atall, so i dont really think you need to underline that side of it particularly, other than to say you enjoy sex and want to explore orgasm control, etc.

youre going to get kinky sex guys for sure - the best way to avoid that, i fnd, though it doesnt make you immune sadly, is to project yourself as the experienced, switched on subbie you are - the kinky sex brigade tend to approach the newbies i think.

edited to add: way to go on that title - i had no idea you could write an essay on there too..

< Message edited by lally3 -- 12/9/2008 4:06:33 PM >

_____________________________

even doves have pride (Prince)

(in reply to FRSguy)

Post #: 5

RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltions... - 12/9/2008 4:05:11 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Who cares if you get more wankers? Just means more clicks on the delete button.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to E2Sweet)

Post #: 6

RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltions... - 12/9/2008 4:06:01 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Well of course you gotta do the work, but let met ell you that ever since I said I have a Daddy and I WILL NOT play with you email has slowed to a stop lol.

I was getting 10 to 15 emails every few weeks, and now it's more like 2 each month, unless it's friends I emailed:)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KyttynTheMynx

You could put "I like rainbows" in your profile and STILL get bombarded by scuzzbags.. You gotta do the work and see which ones are real, and which ones need to get real.

(in reply to KyttynTheMynx)

Post #: 7

RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltions... - 12/9/2008 4:14:39 PM

KyttynTheMynx

Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline

Now I am just confused. You say that your profile says you have a Daddy, wont play, yadda yadda. But you are asking how to advertise a sexual relationship?

Or are you just asking in a hypothetical sense?

_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

"Kyttyn: The Other White Meat!" - DRH

10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 8

RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltions... - 12/9/2008 4:44:01 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Yes, like how you * other people* managed it when you were single or if you are now still looking. Basically a chance to have a very good discussion thread also.

you not being slang for m

quote:

ORIGINAL: KyttynTheMynx

Now I am just confused. You say that your profile says you have a Daddy, wont play, yadda yadda. But you are asking how to advertise a sexual relationship?

Or are you just asking in a hypothetical sense?

(in reply to KyttynTheMynx)

Post #: 9

RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltions... - 12/9/2008 4:50:02 PM

MsWolfPrincess

Posts: 53
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline

People see what they want to. You can leave a profile completely blank and someone will simply see that you are female and run with that on its own. I've posted on a profile in the past I was in no way, shape or form into animals. So I get messaged by some doofus looking for a kennel slut and attaches a photo of what he was looking for. I about lost my lunch, breakfast and dinner from the night before.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 10

RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltions... - 12/9/2008 5:00:07 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I figured out what I wanted in all areas; morality, ethical values, and compatible sex. Most men didn't read what I wrote and didn't match any of it. They were easy enough to know I wasn't going to click with them. Within the first two or three emails they had shown themselves to not be someone I wanted to be with.

I have a weird hard limit, I'm terrified of duct tape gags. Almost all emails I got were from doms who announced their first action would be to cross that line. They didn't approve of the hard limit. They didn't ask why I have it, just said that the way they would prove themselves trustworthy would be to do the one thing that would make me run screaming into the night. Okay, next.

One man was respectful of my limits and curious as to why. Only one bothered to ask what the hell is it with duct tape. He didn't ask with the intention of saying my answer wasn't good enough, just that he was dying of curiosity. Out of all those guys who write when you're new, only one showed me any respect. When he started pushing me a little too fast, I told him so and his response was the only apology I ever received, plus instructions to tell him if he did it again. We're still together almost six years later.

When your bottom line is respect, it's real easy to see who gives it, and deserves it, and who doesn't.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to MsWolfPrincess)

Post #: 11

RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltions... - 12/9/2008 5:00:20 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Hehehe MsWolfPrincess, tha is true, people will aways read what they want into something.

(in reply to MsWolfPrincess)

Post #: 12

RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltions... - 12/9/2008 5:02:49 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

LOL Yup, there are those dim "doms" who proove they're not any one you'd wanna pass on the street let alone play with them, and they do typically show themselves very soon in talking.

I had one guy who thought my really traumatic anal sex experince was hot and told me he'd frequently be having anal sex with me in ways I didn't like.

Plus he totaly ignored my statement that when in little girl headspace I'm anti sexual, by asking if I wanted Daddies black lolipop for bedtime when going ni ni lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I figured out what I wanted in all areas; morality, ethical values, and compatible sex. Most men didn't read what I wrote and didn't match any of it. They were easy enough to know I wasn't going to click with them. Within the first two or three emails they had shown themselves to not be someone I wanted to be with.

I have a weird hard limit, I'm terrified of duct tape gags. Almost all emails I got were from doms who announced their first action would be to cross that line. They didn't approve of the hard limit. They didn't ask why I have it, just said that the way they would prove themselves trustworthy would be to do the one thing that would make me run screaming into the night. Okay, next.

One man was respectful of my limits and curious as to why. Only one bothered to ask what the hell is it with duct tape. He didn't ask with the intention of saying my answer wasn't good enough, just that he was dying of curiosity. Out of all those guys who write when you're new, only one showed me any respect. When he started pushing me a little too fast, I told him so and his response was the only apology I ever received, plus instructions to tell him if he did it again. We're still together almost six years later.

When your bottom line is respect, it's real easy to see who gives it, and deserves it, and who doesn't.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 13

RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltions... - 12/9/2008 8:50:11 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KyttynTheMynx

You could put "I like rainbows" in your profile and STILL get bombarded by scuzzbags.. You gotta do the work and see which ones are real, and which ones need to get real.

I like rainbows.
Big...strong...hard...
erm...rainbows.
Yanno?
Rainbows.
Pretty colours and stuff...

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to KyttynTheMynx)

Post #: 14

RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltions... - 12/9/2008 8:53:07 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

I found that making references to ducks and cuddling is a sure fire way to ward off the trolls...No clue what scares them more, but I'm thinking of getting an attack guard duck to see if it works real time too.

WinD

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 15

RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltions... - 12/9/2008 9:31:38 PM

sexisubi

Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline

i think i put something along the lines of hi, im looking for someone who is dom, out for a commitment not casual... here are my intrestest... and in the likes and dislike catagory all my sexual intrests. i didn't really put anything in my profile cause i always get emails like...

'Hey

I read your profile and you sound great, I'm looking for a serious girl in the lifestyle so message me.'

When my profile clearly states i am already in a D/s relationship and am here for friends...

Come on, the scum don't read the profiles anyway it's a lets throw as many emails as we can, as fast as we can and see what we can reel in.

_____________________________

bound by love,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIvvaqUdDm8

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 16

RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltions... - 12/9/2008 9:48:53 PM

kidwithknife

Posts: 193
Joined: 9/9/2008
Status: offline

My sexual interests are in my likes and dislikes. My profile only vaguely touches on them.

Mostly because I'd rather be sure I can carry on a conversation with a potential sub and check whether we're sexually compatible later on, then check I'm sexually compatible with someone then find out I have nothing else in common.

_____________________________

We went to see the fall of Rome - I thought it would please us
To watch how the mighty go in a blaze of hubris
But I just stood there hypnotised by all the beautiful madness

(New Model Army, Into the Wind)

(in reply to sexisubi)

Post #: 17

RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltions... - 12/9/2008 10:48:36 PM

njin

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/3/2008
Status: offline

##warning; unhelpful post##

one surefire way of generating very little response from putting 'i want a helluva lot of wild sex' on a profile is to list yourself as a straight male who won't relocate...

but even i got a message or two from american male doms.

i think the advice above sounds very reasonable - particularly @winsomedefiance & @kidwithknife...

(in reply to kidwithknife)

Post #: 18

RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltions... - 12/9/2008 10:50:20 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

It sure can be tricky, my x and I were compatible in a lot of ways but sex, and it drove a huge wedge in between us, cause he was very immature and didn't have the maturity to handle rejection and would pester me untill I saw red about sex, knowing he was doing so. One time he pissed me off and pushed me to far and I told him pack your bags I am sending you home I am sick of you pestering me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kidwithknife

My sexual interests are in my likes and dislikes. My profile only vaguely touches on them.

Mostly because I'd rather be sure I can carry on a conversation with a potential sub and check whether we're sexually compatible later on, then check I'm sexually compatible with someone then find out I have nothing else in common.

(in reply to kidwithknife)

Post #: 19

RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltions... - 12/9/2008 10:51:25 PM

moonvine

Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

I didn't advertise sexual things in my profile at all - then I thought to go back and add limits because if someone is really into X and X is a limit for me there's no use going there. Then someone complained all I had was limits...oh well at least that means they read the bloody thing!

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 20

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