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bisexual or just submissive? - 12/10/2008 7:08:18 PM   
luvvle


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		Incase this topic has already been discussed I apologize, but I'm looking for some new opinions.

Furthermore, I am aware of my age, please no comments on it, I haven't sold my soul to anyone and I'm simply learning

However, I have been having some issues lately questioning my sexuality, when perhaps, there may be nothing to question.

I've had thoughts about being with another woman, but only in situations that involve bdsm.  I don't look at girls or imagine having a girlfriend, but when it comes to submission I think it would be fun to have a female dom/sister sub at some point in my life.  Does this mean I'm a bisexual?  Or could I just be so submissive that it passes the point of normal sexuality?  Imagining vanilla sex with a girl doesn't interest me at all. but being tied to someone, kind of intriquing.  Just some food for thought, any advice is appreciated.

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RE: bisexual or just submissive? - 12/10/2008 7:20:30 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Forced bisexuality isn't that uncommon a fantasy or kink. But if the only way you're interested is when the dom is requiring you to do it, then I wouldn't really call you bi.

I will say that it's quite possible you wouldn't like it in reality nearly as much as in fantasy. The other thing about this is that the other woman is a real person. not someone just there for your fantasy. She may well not like the idea of being with someone who does not desire her in and of herself.

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(in reply to luvvle)
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RE: bisexual or just submissive? - 12/10/2008 7:20:52 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Does it matter?  Is there one way or the other that's more acceptable for you?
 
Maybe I don't understand the question.
 
There is a spectrum of sexuality.  According to a few experts everyone falls somewhere in between totally heterosexual and totally homosexual with no one person being one hundred percent one or the other. 
What kind of sex is involved in your enjoyment of men or women or both doesn't change the fact that you enjoy it.

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to luvvle)
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RE: bisexual or just submissive? - 12/10/2008 8:36:16 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

Does it matter?...


Exactly what I was thinking, then I scrolled down and there it was...

Perhaps in mulling this over you'll have a moment of two of some sort of self-discovery, which could be interesting.... But, I honestly wouldn't worry about it too much.


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E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

(in reply to yourMissTress)
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RE: bisexual or just submissive? - 12/11/2008 12:30:19 AM   
MrLucifer


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/9/2008
Status: offline 		  I was asking the same question to everyone, but no answer. Because there is no answer for such question ...
weird huh!!
Joy and happiness are what we are all chasing Sex brings happiness to you?! being a submissive to a female though you are not a bisexual bring happiness to you , believe me when I say there’s a women out there who are not a bi and they are dreaming of dominating a girl The problem, everyone in his mind has an unbreakable principle that he is the only one with unique problems, but we are not It is not about bi/ hetro/homo or whatever expression you want to use, sex is not something to be categorized, psychology is not the key. There is no answer of your question out there, no one have the answer of this question but you. You and only you have the answer

(in reply to E2Sweet)
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RE: bisexual or just submissive? - 12/11/2008 6:49:14 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		It could be that you have a curiosity to explore what it's like to be with another woman though under certain guideline. Whether that makes you bi or not, only you can answer that yourself. 

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RE: bisexual or just submissive? - 12/11/2008 6:56:14 AM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline 		After years and years of being in the company of 'slower' adolescents, it has dawned on me that human nature is bisexual. We grow more to one side than the other but I agree on the continum listed below. No one is 100% in any direction.

Dreamer

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I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

Maybe some women weren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are suppose to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with. Sex and the City

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RE: bisexual or just submissive? - 12/11/2008 7:21:30 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: greeneyedreamer

After years and years of being in the company of 'slower' adolescents, it has dawned on me that human nature is bisexual. We grow more to one side than the other but I agree on the continum listed below. No one is 100% in any direction.

Dreamer


you have cmail.


_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to greeneyedreamer)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: bisexual or just submissive? - 12/11/2008 7:35:54 AM   
pinkwind


Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline 		Well, i identify as straight, do not feel in the slightest bi, and yet i have played before with my then sister sub, and it was one of the most wonderful experiences i wouldn't have had if i hadn't wanted to do it for someone else's pleasure.

One day it might happen again, i just don't know, but if it does i will still be straight afterwards, but happier for the experience too.


(in reply to luvvle)
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RE: bisexual or just submissive? - 12/11/2008 7:38:55 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		Maybe being curious makes one TRYsexual!


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RE: bisexual or just submissive? - 12/11/2008 7:50:00 AM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		I would guess that the need for the D/s is greater than the singular desire for one sex, while the BDSM is inextricably linked to sexuality for some of us, it doesn't have to be focused on only one sex or only one body type or even only one hair color.

Let's take the example of a guy who is kinky and loves thin women. Does that mean he can't also, at times, wonder what it's like to have a bbw kneel before him and have her large, in comparison, tits to twist the nipples of if her teeth touch his cock roughly? Nope. Now in real life, he doesn't care if a woman is slim or a bbw. Sure the bbw might not appeal to him physically as much as a twiggy, but, the point is that only when he's in BDSM space does he also desire the "other" woman.

I think I'm rambling here, I wouldn't pass the test for coherence I guess, but, the point is I would think that with kink, it's perfectly normal to have a preference that is different than your preference for a partner in vanilla life. </ramble>

(in reply to beargonewild)
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RE: bisexual or just submissive? - 12/11/2008 8:18:46 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I never look at another woman and think "she's hot" or get turned on UNLESS she's on her knees or being submissive. Lots of female submissives and slaves turn me on. With men, overt BDSM or not I can get turned on by them though to be honest once I'm turned on my thoughts turn to me controlling them in some fashion.

I stopped saying I was het because of this all and I've started saying that my sexual orientation is dominant with a side of sadism.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

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(in reply to luvvle)
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RE: bisexual or just submissive? - 12/11/2008 8:46:04 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		Fetlife has an option on their profiles called "heteroflexible".  I kinda figure it means that you aren't really bisexual, but if the sun, the moon and the stars were to align just right and someone of the same sex happen to tickle your fancy, you might just find yourself thinking naughty thoughts about them, or doing naughty things with them.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: bisexual or just submissive? - 12/11/2008 10:57:26 AM   
burntcynder


Posts: 34
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline 		"heteroflexible"...is a new one for me. Part of my being poly I have refered to myself as gender-non-specific. Gender doesn't play the big part in the attraction for me. It is the "person" I am having the relationship with. It also doesn't mean I have sex with everyone I love, but that doesn't change the love factor.


cyn 

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: bisexual or just submissive? - 12/11/2008 3:03:44 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Labels are overrated.

Sexuality's really more complicated than that, especially when you bring kink into it. I know personally, on a purely physical/looks level I'm almost entirely interested in women, but I can really go for the right dominant guy.

(in reply to burntcynder)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: bisexual or just submissive? - 12/11/2008 3:39:42 PM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: graceadieu

quote:

Labels are overrated.


AMEN!!!!!!!!!!! ENJOY no matter what....

Dreamer

< Message edited by greeneyedreamer -- 12/11/2008 3:40:25 PM >

_____________________________

Dreamer, owned and ecstatically happy

I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

Maybe some women weren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are suppose to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with. Sex and the City

(in reply to graceadieu)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: bisexual or just submissive? - 12/11/2008 11:26:29 PM   
subboi3382


Posts: 379
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		Yes I totally agree with Misstress. I hard it find to believe anyone is 100% str8 or 100% gay, you shouldn't feel so confined by labels
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

Does it matter?  Is there one way or the other that's more acceptable for you?
 
Maybe I don't understand the question.
 
There is a spectrum of sexuality.  According to a few experts everyone falls somewhere in between totally heterosexual and totally homosexual with no one person being one hundred percent one or the other. 
What kind of sex is involved in your enjoyment of men or women or both doesn't change the fact that you enjoy it.

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: bisexual or just submissive? - 12/12/2008 5:29:10 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Some people are only sexually attracted to people when bdsm is involved, it doesnt really matter so long as you are being happy. I am with those that say sexuality is unfixed and fluid.

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RE: bisexual or just submissive? - 12/12/2008 10:40:28 AM   
babygurlrides


Posts: 90
Joined: 8/13/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Maybe being curious makes one TRYsexual!



Very very good:) This post is very timely as my Daddy just 'suggested' I change my post to bisexual. I have been with a woman during play only twice. I know my preference is for men, but I did also enjoy the experience. When I was younger (even into my 30s) I would panic over a feeling I experienced whenver I saw a beautiful woman, particularly one who I perceived to be beautiful, sensual, self confident. I panicked because I thought "OMG... I am a closet lesbian!!!" Today at 51, I chuckle because I appreciate and understand where those feelings came from. For me, it was  more out of a desire to emulate, to be like someone, if that makes any sense. I have NO problems labelling myself as bisexual, as I would not turn down the opportuntiy to play with a group of people, male and female. I understand today that it does not change my inherent sexual nature. In this lifestyle, as new as I am to it, I believe that bisexuality is just a label. I would not call myself a lesbian as I am not needing or wanting to be in a 24/7 relationship with another woman. So.. I guess I am Trysexual too:) Point is... dont waste your time or energy trying to determine what to call yourself. Your viewpoints, perceptions and feelings about you and your relationship to the world will most likely change multiple times as you progress towards old age, like me:)) Have fun, and enjoy the journey.

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I'd call you a cunt, but you lack both the depth and the warmth!
(my favorite t-shirt slogan)

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: bisexual or just submissive? - 12/12/2008 10:42:51 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		That's the best answer.

If you fantasize about bisexual sex in a BDSM context, most people would probably say you're bisexual.  But what does it matter?  Find what's best for you and leave it to your groupies to figure out what to call you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: graceadieu

Labels are overrated.

(in reply to graceadieu)
Profile   Post #: 20
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