RE: submissive left out of :-(

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RE: submissive left out of :-( - 12/11/2008 7:00:05 AM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

You have a choice, based on the info you have provided. Your choice is as to what you can and will tolerate as far as the treatment he's giving you. Try talking with him again and telling him straight out what the behavior and treatment is doing to you, the pain it causes you, and that it is endangering your trust in him. See if he is willing to go to counselling with you and work with you on repairing the relationship. If not, counselling for yourself would help and you have a decision to make as to whether the relationship continues or ends. It does seem from what you've written that there are instances of emotional abuse. Is that something you can live with? What if it escalates or turns to physical abuse episodes?

I wish you all the best in dealing with this.

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RE: submissive left out of :-( - 12/11/2008 10:48:11 AM

parakeet89

Posts: 94
Joined: 12/8/2008
Status: offline

The fact that he puts the blame on you is what concerns me most. That is not fair of him at all... either you both get counseling or you decide whether he's worth all this heartache. (And, IMO, he probably isn't, because if he was worth it... he wouldn't have been doing this for so long in the first place.)

Also, don't worry about asking advice from a 'group of strangers on the internet'. There's nothing wrong with doing that. Sometimes people just don't know where else to turn, and sometimes a group of like-minded people can offer valuable insight.

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RE: submissive left out of :-( - 12/11/2008 10:58:20 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
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**OPs Profile Deleted**

I wonder if someone is having us on...

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RE: submissive left out of :-( - 12/11/2008 11:23:35 AM

dazzled2me

Posts: 4
Joined: 12/10/2008
Status: offline

hi slavegurljoy,thank you for your reply..i came here to collarme to ask my question due to the site being a BDSM community.where people far and wide come together to talk about there lifestyles.i dont really think it would be appropreiate to go into walmart and run around or get on the mic to anounce those into BDSM to meet me at the front of the store for a l'il concult.i am not sure where you live,but i live in pennsylvania,and the letters BDSM most dont take with a grain of salt..id be hauled off in the paddy wagon if i asked such a question in this community.
hugz for your reply though,as i asked for all advise:-)
dazzled2me AKA uxoangel42 i also asked my husband to please come in and read my comments and please add his own version or correct mine if needed. he refused.........it got tossd onto the "i'll do it later pile"..his nic is sirblaster,so if he does add to this thread you will know,,and i think maybe some may already know him....
once again i enjoy all and every singl comment or advice,positive or negitive.
peace and serenity,
dazzled2me AKA uxoangel42 from j-meeting

(in reply to IrishMist)

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RE: submissive left out of :-( - 12/11/2008 11:49:22 AM

lilgirl2008

Posts: 73
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline

Basically he is changing the rules without including you. When you got married you agreed to a closed relationsip. Now he wants to change things, and is doing it without talking to you directly. If a person lies, and hide things once, they will do it again. In my opinion he sounds like he is very selfish and is not thinking about what is best for the both of you, but what is best for him.

He will continue down this road. You have choices. If you want to include others, great, then tell him that. If not, then tell him that as well. It sounds to me that he really doesn't care how you feel about all of this.

(in reply to dazzled2me)

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RE: submissive left out of :-( - 12/11/2008 12:16:03 PM

wickedondine

Posts: 16
Joined: 11/18/2008
Status: offline

Dazzled,

I'm coming at this from a somewhat biased perspective, as it sounds like your dom is trampling all over my pet peeves- so please take this with a grain of salt.
Mistakes happen. Sometimes they even happen twice. But it sounds like this is an extended pattern of lying and failure to communicate- and the terms of your relationship are being altered without reference to your wishes or what's best for you. I have to ask- is your master still your master if he isn't making you a priority? If he isn't able to control his own base impulses enough to keep him faithful- or at least ethically slutty- how can he be strong enough to dominate you?

Also, here's some boilerplate advice. If it's bad enough that you're asking the Internet, it's enough of a problem that you need him to drop what he's doing and talk it out plainly. Not later, not when he gets to it, but ASAP. If he doesn't have the stones to start the conversation himself, then consider it part of your service to him- getting him to be honest with himself is good for both of you.

Good luck.

(in reply to lilgirl2008)

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Post #: 26