what is the normal course of evens in chatting with a Dominant these days on cm?

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what is the normal course of evens in chatting with a D... - 12/11/2008 9:52:14 PM

winterlight

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What i mean is after 10 short chats do you start talking about sexual desires etc.?

What is the normal time to start chatting about things such as that. i realize it depends on each person but isn't there some guideline. would u consider a person that gets into that topic a "dom" troll?

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RE: what is the normal course of evens in chatting with... - 12/12/2008 3:26:54 AM

MsLadySue

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I don't think there is a time line for this topic. In my chats with male submissives this subject is not discussed until I'm ready to go there and only when I feel comfortable with it. If the person continues to bring up the subject I lose interest quickly as IMO he's only interested in the sexual aspect of a D/s relationship.

In my opinion if you don't feel the time is right to discuss sexual desires with a Dom then you shouldn't do so. There is no reason to discuss anything you're not comfortable with.

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RE: what is the normal course of evens in chatting with... - 12/12/2008 6:52:13 AM

wandersalone

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It would totally depend on my interactions with that person, with some people it may have been very early on....with others never.

I wouldn't necessarily consider someone that started talking about this a dom troll....more that maybe I hadn't clearly outlines any preferences/limitations I had so far in regards to topics.

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RE: what is the normal course of evens in chatting with... - 12/12/2008 7:11:14 AM

thishereboi

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After I have met them in real life and feel a sexual attraction. I dont do online chats, so I can't answer that part, sorry.

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RE: what is the normal course of evens in chatting with... - 12/13/2008 4:05:52 PM

sub4hire

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Really depends on the person. How the relationship has progressed so far. Once I gave them a photo it turned sexual real quick.
I then would dump them if I didn't like where we were going. Keep them if I had interest in them.

Then of course, if you're seeking only friendship versus a relationship. Friendship in my opinion should never turn sexual.
If they make you uncomfortable tell them...if they don't cease at that point, dump them.

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RE: what is the normal course of evens in chatting with... - 12/13/2008 6:23:27 PM

DesFIP

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It was probably more like chat number three for us. But we had done a week or so of emails before we moved into chat if that helps.

Sexual compatibility is as essential to me as is vanilla compatibility. So I saw nothing wrong in exploring this through cyber. If his desires and mine were very different, then we wouldn't have gone any further.

Beyond that, I expect a dominant to push, to be assertive, to want to go where he wants to wind up. So that wasn't a problem for me. I just needed to know that when I said "slow down, this is too fast for me" that he listened and did slow down to a pace I could handle.

In my youth, I had a couple of one night stands. I had no hard and fast rule about having to have ten coffee dates first or whatever. If the chemistry is there for you, then go there. If you don't click well in conversation, don't go there because you'll be spending more time talking than playing in real life.

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RE: what is the normal course of evens in chatting with... - 12/13/2008 6:31:16 PM

YourhandMyAss

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No. There isn't some guideline, and as soon as people stop thinking or hoping there is, and realize there's no book on how to be kinky or what's the normal flow of events and make their own guidelines, the happier, I think people will be.

No, I wouldn't consider someone who wanted to talk about sexual matters a troll, just simply not compatible with me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

What i mean is after 10 short chats do you start talking about sexual desires etc.?

What is the normal time to start chatting about things such as that. i realize it depends on each person but isn't there some guideline. would u consider a person that gets into that topic a "dom" troll?

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RE: what is the normal course of evens in chatting with... - 12/13/2008 6:42:25 PM

khalya

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I think the context is important. For example, someone might ask what kind of things have I experienced, and would be interested in experiencing in the future. I don't mind answering and asking those types of questions. I think it is important for the sub and dom to have similar interests, and if those interests don't line up, then there won't be a fulfilling relationship.

There is a line though, and I think it is up for each individual person to find out when it has been crossed

~Ashe

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RE: what is the normal course of evens in chatting with... - 12/13/2008 7:03:24 PM

FourQ

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As above, it depends on how each of you feels.

I've met people where we've just clicked - all the little things that make you who you are just fit right and match up. We'd talked for hours on end each night simply following on from the previous day because there was a connection there. Neither one of us had pushed/pressured for more contact or steered the conversation in that way, it simply progressed that way naturally.

If it feels natural, why not. Until it feels natural, I'd not want to push it.

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