RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ?

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elegantalexis -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/12/2008 10:23:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz The pornbots I suppose? The callgirls are certainly real, even if they get some folks moral panties in a bunch. Also, I tend to raise an eyebrow at emails from Africa or Egypt. [:D] Did anyone get an email from that Adonis from Turkey yet? Instant block from me since I am not into gren card fraud. Shahar

sirguym -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/13/2008 4:49:54 AM)
It is because they are judging you by their own standards. Those who've been around, know themselves, and what they want, will quickly identify those who are incompatible and say so, politely. There is no stigma in being a perfectly genuine person, who simply isn't what I, or somebody else, is looking for. But the simple-minded idiots who have a fixed template of what they expect people to be, and accuse anyone who doesn't fit it of being fake? They are the ones in error. Just block, report and move on ....

Jeptha -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/13/2008 9:10:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SunshineSunny Lauren0221 wrote back to me .. saying :" Just because someone is not right for us does not make them a fake. It makes them not right for us, and they could very well be someone else's ideal Dominant. " ~ In which I do agree with her .. ~ " Can someone tell me why most men Don't look at it that way .. and calls us fakes when they are mad or they don't get their way or even post it in their profiles ? Sunny My thought would be that if your experience is that "most men Don't look at it that way", you are probably selecting a bad sample of men to represent most men. If this is the result you typically get with most men, you might have to change something you are doing. This reminds me of an acquaintance who had bad luck dating. Her method was to dress up and go to slightly upscale, yuppy meatmarket bars and hang out until someone charming came along and picked her up. Inevitably, the guy turned out to be shallow, or have some other major character flaw, but she never saw anything wrong with her approach. She insisted that that was the absolute best method of meeting people that it made the most sense for her.

kidwithknife -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/13/2008 10:49:35 AM)
Because those grapes were sour anyway.

shykitty1 -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/13/2008 1:54:28 PM)
though i agree that there are some people out there that will neverbe what they are trying to be the only thing that is fake is the person calling someone fake. Misguided in their definition. a girl might neverbe a slave but she might be a sub, or if never be a sub perhaps just a bottom..Truly being fake is only something you can be to yourself not someone else being it to you. Well unless you are tryihng to date a blow up doll.

secretsub1957 -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/14/2008 4:13:34 PM)
I get this fake stuff whenever I refuse a Dom. I will not date a man who brings up sex too much in the first contact. I think it is disrespectful. If a person is just trying to get in my pants, they do this in person even worse. I dont want to be raped or have sex until I am ready. So then when I decide not to meet them, they get all wacko and I invariably become a fake. It is ok, cause i wish I was a fake. If I could make this part of me turn vanilla it would be fine. Unfortunately, in the bedroom I would be very unhappy. I just hate these creeps, "get on your knees" sure babe, sure I am on my knees now,I say from the comfort of my chair. I am very glad I am only a sub in the bedroom,it would be difficult to respond to them anytime. For me until you turn me on, I am as much a sub as a cop. Most dudes who push me for sex make me sick. I hang up and think ewww yuk. You see none of this does anything for me til I am turned on. Up until the moment,I am thinking what am I doing here,why would I want to do this? Anyway, Doms who play this game are usually pressuring me and I hope I know better.

cagliostro -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/14/2008 7:16:42 PM)
Tiny penis....:))

IronBear -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/14/2008 7:23:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cagliostro Tiny penis....:)) You are advertising for one or that you have one?

DomDG -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/14/2008 11:22:34 PM)
I have never called a sub a fake. I report the ones that are obvious scams. I will stop talking to someone when it becomes obvious that they are not who they say they are (you know the one that has a porn star like picture and the next one they send is totally differnt person!) As for why some may call some of you precious girls a fake, a fraud, a wannabe, etc. I think it is that they REALLY believe their own PR. They really believe that they are a god among Doms. That you should crawl to them across burning pits filled with broken glass. They actually think the crap they read in that story on the BBS in the 90's was the way it worked in real life. I believe in taking time to get to know the person. I actually invite them to view my profile, my local group and to hope the find what they need. I am not a god, but I hope sometime soon that some sub will see me as her god! But that takes time.

allthatjaz -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/15/2008 3:32:03 AM)
People who throw the word 'fake' around are often people that have spent too long in cyber chat and probably never had the good fortune to taste reality.

SunshineSunny -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/16/2008 7:40:11 AM)
quote: Tiny penis....:)) Laughs .. ... :P

interested1956 -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/16/2008 6:10:06 PM)
Any "Real " dom or master would not call someone they don't even know personally a fake ! And that is exactly the point, you are not talking with a real dom/master. rather you are talking with little boys who under some assumption think that being submissive means that you must bow down to the first person who takes notice of you, ( silly little boys that they are) The women who do act this way, well their not nearly as submissive as they would like to think either. A real dominant or master would pride one for asking the important questions, and not throwing themselves at him, for he knows if you act this way towards him upon first meeting him,, who did you act this way right before him,, and that my dear is reserved for the vanilla girls, who change men like they change shoes. But I do also place a dom and a master in entirely different catagories, ( which they are) one ( being the Dom ) is more of a scening participant, with a dominant streak, where as a master has lived the lifestyle and has mastered his craft, and has much more to offer outside of the scene. So one must ask themselves, do I seek to scene and play part time and occasionally, or do i indeed wish to be emmersed in this lifestyle in a 24/7 dynamic, with One who weilds his power over me with dignity and respect, or do i wish just to lend myself to play partners, then go about my merry way.

IronBear -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/16/2008 6:43:47 PM)
That makes a whole lot of sence to me mate.. It deserves a carton of iced Fosters....

Celene -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/16/2008 7:06:13 PM)
While I'm not calling anyone a "fake", but in the past month I've heard (twice) self-identified "submissives" have come to doubt/question their submissive nature and are now defining themselves as kinky vanilla males. [sm=banghead.gif] Call it what you like, it plays like a little boy game. [sm=hardlimit.gif] On the other hand, I also get messages from dominant men .... go figure. Maybe I'm one of those "fake" subs too... [sm=laundry.gif]since I do have to pamper myself.

Buckiemohawk -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/16/2008 9:33:28 PM)
With meeting people online... I automatically look for red flags... looking to move right away... wanting me to come visit... Asking personal info on the first meeting online... Things like that. Also, if I'm in chat and they are from my area I test them out with little details and such. It's not that everybody is a fake, it's that I have to be careful who I talk to and make sure the people are real. And like a few post above me, I hate it when someone makes contact here or on another site and say, "Oh I need money." Those are the real fakers... but if a dom calls you a fake because your not into midgets jumping on trampolines and flogging you well that's just b.s.

SirJ40 -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/21/2008 6:22:58 AM)
Sometimes, it seems that people are willing to yell "fake" to anyone who does not wish to live the submissive life full time.. yet, does it mean they are "fakes", or merely that they wish to engage in submissive PLAY? If people are honest enough to say that they are unwilling or unable to live as someone's submissive full time, then they are not necessarily "fake".. they are just not "full time". "Fakes" are people who falsely lay claim to full-time submissive or Dominant roles, and then refuse to fulfill the demands of those roles unless they "feel like it". Rarely do such sites as CM or FL give an option for "wishing to engage in submissive play without submissive commitment".. or "having a submissive personality that is not always apparent". I'm always amused by the profiles that holler "I'm a submissive, but I'm a strong willed, independent person with my own mind".. the need to specify such things indicates that someone is maybe not willing to be a fully committed "submissive".. but they may still wish to engage in play wherein they take a submissive role. For Me, a "true" submissive is one whom has submitted fully to another and lives by those guidelines at all times when possible .. with that particular other. By the same token, a "true" Dominant lives up to the responsibilities and demands of that title at all times for their submissive.. not just when it's easy or convenient. They don't have a need to "dominate" anyone other than their Collared submissive, or someone who invites such a relationship temporarily, (ie; for play). I'd think that the need to accuse someone of being fake might be alleviated somewhat if the "role" selections included such options as "wishing to play a submissive role when possible" or something along that line... not everyone wishes to or is able to live as a submissive OR as a Dominant at all times. For an example.. My submissive is Mine, and lives that at all times with Me, however, it's not always readily apparent to an outsider. Her job is far from submissive.. she runs a large office with a lot of people, she needs to be decisive, forceful, and strong at work. Would I expect her to lower her eyes and kiss My hand when I walk into her office? Not at all.. she's at work.. that's a role that supersedes her submission to Me when she's working or with work people. It's very difficult for her to try and incorporate submissive behavior into her work environment.. it undermines the mindset that is necessary for her to successfully complete her duties, and I wouldn't ask her to do so. Frankly, I enjoy her role at work, I admire her skill and talent, and her strength and authority there serve to make her submission to Me at home/in our life that much more valuable.. she doesn't "need" to submit to Me.. she WANTS to, and acts accordingly. Do I still have the obligations to protect, care for, and support her when she's there? YES.. but the execution of such things is more subtle.. if her boss needs to chew her out, I'm not going to interfere.. that's not helping anything. If someone from her work decides to become confrontational in a social situation, OUTSIDE of her work? They deal with Me. On the other side of the coin, I am not the penultimate authority at My work, and I do not try to exert a Dominant influence over My superiors when I'm there. I do use many of the same personality traits when I need them, whether to act in accordance with My position above certain other workers, or to be strong in conflict resolution.. however, I don't expect anyone at work to act as My submissive, even if I am their immediate supervisor. Outside of work, if those same people try to exert that same influence over Me? They soon learn that it doesn't work on a personal level. Do these situations make either of us fake? I assure you that they do not.. when we are in our roles, in our life, at those times when the outside world makes no demands that we be otherwise, she is truly submissive to Me, and I act as her Dominant. Perhaps we need to incorporate "brat" or "smart assed masochist" into the lists.. then, those who only wish to act in a submissive fashion "some" of the time, would have a valid title that lets everyone know that they are not willing or interested in being a full time submissive. So.. perhaps we just need to recognize the distinction between wanting to play in a certain role, and wanting to live in it. Not that there aren't "fakes".. those certainly exist... and are usually apparent by their deceit and dishonesty. There... I'm sure that's more than 2 cents worth, but an opinion was asked for, lol.

BrokenSaint -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/22/2008 12:43:53 AM)
Different strokes for different folks so to speak. Going to have to go with the unfulfilled expectations on that one. Someone really isn't fake I'd say unless the following criteria are met A) Their picture is not even remotely representative of them in any way shape or form. B) They are from Nigeria and want to inform you that you have just won the new zealand national lottery/prince mobwenge the 8th's lost riches/millions from a corrupt government regime post-coup. Also if they mention the word modalities (something actually placed in the vocabulary of 419 scammers on purpose as an interesting joke/somewhat of a social experiment, and a blazing flashing neon sign you are probably talking to a scammer (or a reverse scam-baiter, but those are rare)) C) They grossly misrepresent themselves in some manner (ex: I have 40 years of experience in bdsm! and they are 45, things like that) More often than not I'd figure that people call someone out as a fake just due to human nature, on the basis of those aforementioned unfulfilled expectations. They aren't in particular what that person would prefer, or even consider in a given category, thus they are relegated to a category of posers. It's really actually quite similar to what one sometimes sees in any subculture, goth culture for example has the same issues. The difference between the perceived "in" crowd, and those outside of it, is often not a very wide gulf, if one at all. Personally when it comes down to it, I've always cared very little. Worst comes to worse I end up meeting someone I'm not fond of, and lose what, a few hours? Average scenario I meet someone who at least holds an interest in similar things. That's never really bad. Bothering to actually waste the time on someone I'm not fond of to call them a fake seems fairly wasteful and incredibly pointless in the long run.

Maya2001 -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/22/2008 4:35:36 AM)
or it could be someone who has spent way too much time watching BDSM porn videos and have blurred the lines between fantasy and reality

bosch -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/28/2008 9:24:12 AM)
I venture to guess that most men base their expectations on what should happen here on their experiences with porn sites. IOW, if you don't do what they tell you on the first chat, you're obviously not playing the game right. Ain't the same thing. But let's face it, this is cyber-world, and it takes a lot of time and patience to weed out the kooks.

JustDarkness -> RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? (12/28/2008 11:16:22 AM)
I am not calling people fake because they have a different view on things.

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