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LadyKim -> RE: I need some advice please (12/30/2005 8:55:29 AM)
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Remember, the plantiff has the burden of proof. Your attorney can request a deposition (though this can be very pricey) to find out basically what he is going to say in court. He/she can also fish around to find out what evidence he has to support his claim in court.
Did you file an answer and counterclaim with the courts? You will need to be able to support them in court. No matter what, SHOW UP FOR COURT!!! If you do not, then the judge may decide you have no interest in keeping your visitation schedule and grant the motion.
If you have an idea of what he will be presenting to the judge to support his claim, then find evidence to refute it or to show your responsible actions over the years to shield your children from your 'sexual preferences in the lifestyle'. If you have people that will testify that you have not engaged in the activities around your children, and/or had laid down rules about decorum around your children to keep them from being subjected to BDSM activities or dynamics then bring them with you to court. Do you have proof of what you do with your children during your visitation? Take that with you.
Again, I stress the question, does he engage in bdsm activities or has he previously? If so, use it against him in court as a counter to the claim. Why is it acceptable for the parent with custody to engage in the same activities, but not ok for the parent with with visitation?
Figure out what prompted him to file this complaint with the courts. Is it something not related to the claim at all? Can you prove it? If you can, then be certain to give the judge your evidence of shielding your children...... THEN the evidence of what the matter is really is.
I have a former sub that has custody of his children who was concerned his ex would bring up lifestyle activities during their final custody battle. I did a lot of research on it at the time because he is a wonderful father. Luckily for him and the children, he had solid evidence to prove she was a danger to her children's well being that had NOTHING to do with the lifestyle. Since she was his dominant during their marriage and had permanent marks on his body she put on him, we took pictures of them for physical evidence to prove she was lifestyle too to basically counter that argument. This eliminated the threat of the lifestyle being used as a basis for contention in later years.
Good luck, and contact the NCSF. They may have more specific information that can help you.
MzKim
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