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Sex in retirement - 12/15/2008 3:56:08 PM

FourQ

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Harold is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the centre to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed.

After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"
She asks, "What?" and he replies "SEX!!"
Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head".
"I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while"

"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterwards, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood. Then, one night, Harold didn't turn up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K. She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sittingby the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Harold's manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that I don't have?

Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's"

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RE: Sex in retirement - 12/15/2008 4:27:02 PM

Sindel

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HAhaha, that made really laugh out loud at work XD

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RE: Sex in retirement - 12/15/2008 4:28:58 PM

BKSir

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HA!!!! After working in a nursing home, that's a hoot! :)

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RE: Sex in retirement - 12/15/2008 4:29:26 PM

FourQ

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Nearly didn't post that one too.

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RE: Sex in retirement - 12/15/2008 4:50:50 PM

rachel529

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so wrong, so totally wrong... but i laughed

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RE: Sex in retirement - 12/16/2008 9:55:10 AM

MissEnchanted

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very funny!

FourQ: Thanks for all of the jokes you've shared lately.

ME

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RE: Sex in retirement - 12/16/2008 10:22:39 AM

FourQ

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No problems MissEnchanted, I'm only up to A of jokes thus far but I just don't want to hog the boards so will post them periodically.

I'll keep posting them until either people stop asking or I run out.

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RE: Sex in retirement - 12/21/2008 12:45:16 PM

MissEnchanted

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FourQ,

Well this is sure what we all need these days: A good laugh. I'm glad to know I can keep looking forward to seeing you post 'em!

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RE: Sex in retirement - 12/21/2008 4:06:57 PM

FourQ

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I'll post them as often as requested until I either run out of time or jokes.

Glad to see it's appreciated anyway.

Think I'll skip tonight - it's been the first time I've drank alcohol in a pub since the smoking ban came into effect and I'm a little worse for the drink. Still, it's the first time I've celebrated my birthday in a pub for 16 years. You have to make an effort once in a while eh? I hope my spelling's okay - it looks okay from where I'm lying.

Hmmm. I put three iced Danish pastries out before I left....

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RE: Sex in retirement - 12/21/2008 6:25:04 PM

Celene

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Well Happy Birthday!!

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RE: Sex in retirement - 12/22/2008 4:30:17 AM

FourQ

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Thanks.

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RE: Sex in retirement - 12/22/2008 4:31:58 AM

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