RE: References

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: References

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: References

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: References - 12/30/2005 5:01:29 AM

FTopinMichigan

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver
being so new at the time and having heard of the use of references
i thought it might be the way to go even though i still thought it a bit silly i went
ahead and asked for one. The reply (through the net) came as an attachment.
The contents actually made me laugh, here was photo's of 10 different women
giving him a Blow Job.

I don't know which story I like better...this one, or John Warren's.

For me, the use of "references," many times, was more in the context of someone trying to enter a "private" group, for membership. While personal interviews were required too, being community active, and/or having a "known" reference sometimes helped to speed up the application process.

On a personal level, I've found some comfort in "someone knowing someone"...even though it's not a guarantee, it is a hint that the person is out there, and known. I enjoy meeting people through friends, and if someone contacts me online, or say through this site, it helps a bit if we have a friend or acquaintance in common. As Lady H said, we DO network.

As others have pointed out..."blind" references, from unknowns, are useless. As an HR professional, I can say most business references, used on resumes, are useless too. No one would give a bad reference for themselves.
K

(in reply to Quivver)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: References - 12/30/2005 5:55:15 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

As I get closer, I may ask for a reference, I have been lucky though that the subs I have gotten closest to have willingly provided "character" references--and in an email to the reference cc'd Me and said I may be contacting the reference--yes this could have been used as a ruse---but each time it was legit.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: References - 12/30/2005 1:23:06 PM

LadyKim

Posts: 191
Joined: 11/11/2004
Status: offline

There are instances where references are a good idea........ I guess. When 1763 first opened it's doors in the old PEP house here in Atlanta, they required references from members to become a new member. Mostly because there were some troublemakers that they were trying to keep out. In that instance, it detoured the problem childs from attending or applying.

I believe the person who asks for the reference should KNOW the person being given as the reference also. Otherwise, how can you know if the person giving the reference is honorable........ or real?

In personal relationships, I think you have to make your own determination using safe ways to gather the knowledge to make an informed decision.

MzKim

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: References - 12/30/2005 2:34:43 PM

MizKitty

Posts: 8
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline

I have had several instances in which people I had met very much in passing used me as a reference and only knew my screen name, which is a dead give away thta they don't know me at all. I also had an instance in which someone told a member of the community he had paid me to train him at my dungeon. I am not a professional dom nor have I ever had a dungeon. I think the funniest one I ever had dropped on me was a newbie who wanted to be in a fetish performance I was doing told me she had already been cleared by Mistress So and So (who is actually some one who hasn't been welcome in the community for close to five years due to major shady dealings and illegal activity). When I asked the newbie when she had spoken with her, she said the previous weekend. I knew she was completely full of it!!!!

(in reply to LadyKim)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: References - 1/4/2006 7:33:41 PM

Tacs

Posts: 7
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: CT
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FTopinMichigan

Do you think references are a good way to share information, or a waste of time? Or...a little of both?

I think they are a waste of time. I know there are exceptions to every rule, but set's face it, do you honestly think a person would consciously give you a "bad" reference?

If they've burned 10 people, but managed to befriend one, who do you think they'll give you as a reference?

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)

Profile

Post #: 25