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Newbie trying to learn - 12/16/2008 12:41:59 PM

bdfw5969

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Joined: 9/30/2008
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I am a newbie sub male curious on why Domme's feminize boys. I have looked online and most articles are written by men and very biazed. Would anyone be so kind as to help educate an new one.
hank

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RE: Newbie trying to learn - 12/16/2008 2:02:52 PM

OttersSwim

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It's a myth. Boys feminize themselves.

Gender issues are not something many are willing to pick up and play lightly with and thus you will find very few female dominants who are: 1). actually attracted to fem boys and; 2). willing to mess with what often ends up being a deep seated emotional issue that has been denied and stuffed for many years - it usually needs a counselor, not a Domme.

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RE: Newbie trying to learn - 12/19/2008 7:02:47 PM

AcademyForSlaves

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Hi.

It doesn't mean he's gay or bisexual. Not all sissies and crossdressers submit to men or want to have sex with men. I know a few that want to be female and to be with females like a lesbian. Everyone's different.

It depends on the Mistress but some like to feminize a male because it demasculates him. he becomes a girl, grrl, gerl, or an object or it which means he's neither a female or male. Some Mistresses like to see him all pretty and feminine to rid of his male ego. I have a Mistress friend who likes owning sissies and crossdressing slaves because they like doing maid chores. I like sissy secretaries.

Hope this helps.

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RE: Newbie trying to learn - 12/20/2008 5:54:53 AM

MmeGigs

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim
Gender issues are not something many are willing to pick up and play lightly with and thus you will find very few female dominants who are: 1). actually attracted to fem boys and; 2). willing to mess with what often ends up being a deep seated emotional issue that has been denied and stuffed for many years - it usually needs a counselor, not a Domme.

I don't agree that very few female doms are attracted to fem boys. I know that some aren't, but I have quite a few female dom friends who enjoy boys who dress. About a third of my femdom friends have long term partners who dress, at least some of the time. A few of them dress most of the time. I rather like boys who dress, but I'm not at all girlie and don't have an appreciation for girlie things, so I don't think I'm their best partner choice.

I also don't agree that dressing often ends up being a deep-seated emotional issue. I have quite a few friends who are crossdressers and transvestites, and have dated probably a half-dozen fellows who dress and none of them had deep seated emotional issues. Most are pretty content with themselves. They're not all models of mental health, but neither are all of my other friends.

I've chatted with two fellows who had shame issues with their crossdressing interest that affected their lives. They were so weirded out by themselves that they couldn't tell anyone but online strangers about it and couldn't handle the idea of meeting someone they'd told. They definitely needed counseling. I'm sure that there are more fellows like this out there, and if you were to argue that there are a lot more I couldn't disagree with you, but they're not fellows who are likely to be chatting us up and asking us out.

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RE: Newbie trying to learn - 12/20/2008 7:07:58 AM

MsStarlett

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I have mentioned this before... but you're new, so I'll say it again and others can skip over my post.

I don't do that. I don't want sissies or cross dressers for subs. I don't MIND that people do that. I don't even mind that my subs do that on their own time, I just don't require them to do it around me. Why? I am not a lesbian and I am not attracted to females natural born, trans or drag. I have several crossdressing friends who do it because they love the female form so much that they wish to emulate it and feel pretty. Some of those men are gay, some are totally 'straight'. These men are my friends, period, not relationship partners. I enjoy their company and treat them as girl-friends when they are dressed.

*smile* One even used to come into the ladies room with us other girls and hang out in the lounge area laughing and gossiping with us. The other men would stand outside the door listening to our gails of laughter and become terribly jealous that they would never know what was going on inside the Ladies' room.

But I digress.... I do not put men in female clothing to humiliate them. In fact, I find that practise to be insulting. That would be like putting a white person in 'black face' make up for humiliation. It's degrading to WOMEN! I know that platform makes me quite unpopular with some, but it's the way I feel about it. It goes all the way back to watching Milton Burl put on a floral dress and bad hat and have people laugh at him for pretending to be an ugly woman. Yet I am NOT offended by Divine or even John Travolta for playing women in Hairspray... or any other number of male actors playing female parts. I suppose it's all in WHY they do it or the reaction they are trying to acheive.

*shrug* I could go on all day about this... but I'm already late for work. I hope you see my point. It's fine for men to dress in women's clothing if it makes them happy. I just don't like them to do it in a fashion which implys that being Female is something to be humiliated about because it is somehow "Less" than being Male.

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RE: Newbie trying to learn - 12/20/2008 9:14:09 AM

OttersSwim

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MmeGigs, I stand corrected, thank you.

I still believe that such Ladies are in the minority, but it warms my heart to know that they are out there.

I guess my point was that if feminization is something a boy wants, he should own it himself and not wait for a Domme to "force" it on him. It can be a fun little game, but it is just that - a game. So many males with gender issues need counseling not games because it is such a social stigma and so many of us have attached sexual import to it and see a need to be somehow "forced" to do it to make it acceptable. Combine that with strong women who see being female as a point of power and not submission or humiliation and you set up a mighty train wreck - and you get very articulate opinions on that such as MsStarlett has expressed here about using crossdressing for humiliation.

I know I sound like a broken record as I chime in on all these threads with this argument of balance. But I see this as a big problem in BDSM for submissive males with feminine desires and I want to see it grow and come into balance with more males owning and accepting their female sides and not looking for dominant women to "force" them into it as some panacea for the social stigma they feel.

Okay I feel better now.

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RE: Newbie trying to learn - 12/20/2008 9:27:32 AM

beeble

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quote:

MsStarlett wrote: I do not put men in female clothing to humiliate them. In fact, I find that practise to be insulting. That would be like putting a white person in 'black face' make up for humiliation. It's degrading to WOMEN!

I'm not sure it is degrading to women. I don't think it pushes the idea that it's humiliating for *anyone* to dress in women's clothes; just that it's humiliating for men to or, more specifically, for that particular man to. A male sub might be humiliated by strap-on play but I don't think that would be seen as degrading to gay men.

beeble.

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