RumpusParable
Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: MisterP61
OK. Here goes.... and please bear with Me. I am not the most eloquent typist, but what I type has meaning to me, and not all that is typed can show the true emotion behind it, nor the true meaning can be always conveyed. What one person reads can mean something completely different to another. With that said here is My query.
I would like to hear some opinions from those who have served Mistress Military, are with someone who does serve, or those who actually serve still.
I do not post a whole lot here, but I do read a huge amount of what others do post. I am still a "Beginner" Dom, and I learn from others.... good, bad or indifferent.
OK.... the query..... How do you (and I mean all sides, Dom and sub) deal with long absences from the life, through no fault of your own but save the choice in your career or support of said career? I ask because I sometimes feel disconnected, because of serving in a foreign country, and not having the ability, (and truth be told) the desire to actively look for it, because it is Our "family" that is important, and being away, means that the "family" can't be a whole since there would be no way possible for My Wife to either approve or disapprove any prospect (I have the same power, it is a steadfast house rule that will not change).
I eagerly await the responses to this, for I have wanted to ask for a while, but have not.
Thanking all those who respond in advance.
MisterP61
HI! :)
When I was in it didn't really factor much... those D/s relationships I had were formed with others in the military and so we all went into it knowing and accepting the short and long separations. It never really got discussed, it just was taken as the Nature of Life and things worked around it. So I've not much to say there.
After I became married to Chael, the above still applied in regards to the people we were in D/s relationships with... most were quite casual, one was quite thorough and strong and last for years -we were all in the ame unit and then lucky to have him be PCSed to the same post as us just a few months after our own move. So with the one serious and long relationship we were mutually dominant to this person with myself in the main lead, so to speak, just due to being the Type A among us. It developed organically from first meeting and just "was" with no real discussion or labeling... there was no other way for us all to be naturally with eachother and we had the rare luck for the military to keep us together longer than can usually be hoped for. During that time I had gotten out and they were still in. Short times apart, a week or couple months, weren't long enough to worry about. Again, we were lucky to have no long separations, and since it just fell into place as it did, Chael and I didn't need to really discuss or arrange between us.
Now, with just Chael in it's pretty simplified for us. He's not actively pursuing a submissive or bottom, never has. He either just finds them or doesn't. Me, that's still how most happen but I do actively look at times, so it is much more often that I am the one bringing a new person into my/our life. How we handle our acquaintances and friends (BDSM or not) doesn't call for much discussion or approval from the other... we're not much concerned about who the other hangs out with unless the other has something they want/need to discuss (or more usually vent about lol). So the most such things needs to be talked about if it's a non-shared sub/bottom is, "I beat up this cute chick the other night..." or "Tuesday X is gonna be here, does that conflict with anything going on?" or "I've taken on a domestic/sub/playtoy, so you might see them around".
If it's someone we'd like to have in our shared life, then we start from it being one of our separate friends and talk to the other about them and the wish to make them a possible mutual friend/partner... then just let occasionally meetings find out if I or Chael, whoever is the one being introduced to, like them well enough for a 3-direction friendship to occur (and same for the friend in question). If not, unless there is a very solid and important reason, the person just goes back to being just a one-of-us friendship with the other not involved. If so, then we just find what feels right and go with it.
He's been deployed for year once and is looking to be again soon. During long separations like that, the separate friendships are handled much the same as when we're together... we just have to be careful about how we tell the other because of the communications issues over controlled/monitored lines. We tend to use familyspeak for that or tell a bit and, on what can't be said, trust the other's judgement.
Likewise, while I no longer have mandatory times away I *do* travel whenever and as much as health and life allow...it's not unheard of for me to leave a note saying "gone to (insert state/country/friend's house/roadtrip)" for the weekend or month... and we're talking about arranging for me to go back to living in Germany or the UK on my own for 6-12 months sometime soon since I miss it. We've also plans in a few years for me to visit Thailand to study the language and culture for as long as it takes to become acceptable in the language or decide I hate being there, whichever comes first lol. While living in Texas, when he's not deployed, we intend to live with him in an apartment in Killeen and I in Dallas, visiting each other.
Those we'd like to have a mutual friendship with are handled the same way as at home: keeping it a single-friendship and discussing it a little with the waiting til all three of us can spend time to see what happens just delayed a good bit due deployed status.
We only have to both like/approve of someone if they're going to be a shared friend (again, BDSM, vanilla or whatever)... so if one or both of us can't be around they either stay a friend of one of us and/or we wait until we can see what may work between us three (or more, as that's occured). For us it makes it pretty simple to deal with our times both together and apart in making friends of various sorts.
I apologize if this reading has been muddled. I'm on painkillers and muscle relaxers, and we all know how much they tend to help clear thinking and expression. ;)
_____________________________
Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.
I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.
Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.
|
BDSM and Mistress Military - 
Profile
RE: BDSM and Mistress Military - 
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread