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Analogies - 12/19/2008 4:43:43 AM   
Sundowner


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Analogies can often be helpful in understanding stuff - do you have any good analogies for the sub dom relationship?

I was corresponding on the other side about the degree to which a sub is property, which made me think of an analogy whereby a submissive girl is in some ways like a car.

Very often an owner loves his car to bits - he's proud of it, he takes care of it, he cherishes it, supplies it with everything it needs; he feels pleased when other people admire it and wish they had one just like it.

He treats it lovingly and carefully; but it is there to serve his needs and to please him; it does exactly what he wishes it to do, immediately. He rarely pushes it hard but he does sometimes; when he does push it he expects it to respond at once uncomplainingly. He would not normally push it so hard it's at its limit but that is entirely his choice. He may be very happy at times to hire a new car (of the sort he thinks he'll enjoy for a while) and spend some time with it or indeed to borrow someone else's (though when he does then out of respect for its owner he treats it gently). But he's usually happy returning to his own car whose foibles and idiosyncrasies he understands (even though he may not love all of them).

If it lets him down he'll probably curse it and try to solve the problem; but if it seems beyond economical repair he'll simply turn it in and get a newer model (maybe new, maybe secondhand).

There are some owners who treat their cars appallingly with no consideration whatsoever. They abuse the thing, swear at it, push it too hard, neglect it and spend as little time or money on it as they can. Some models can stand this harsh treatment but more often one finds this sort of owner has problems with their car (and maybe with their lives).

But fundamentally the analogy fails because of course my car generally stays where I park it; in real life a sub can always, always walk away.

(Unless she's twue and weal of course).  


Are you a cherished, lovingly maintained prized possession or are you an abused old wreck?  Or are you not a car at all, but a better analogy?


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RE: Analogies - 12/19/2008 4:46:08 AM   
Sundowner


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A while ago the beautiful and clever Soft suggested analogy number two; dogs.

As I recall (and Soft will ruthlessly correct me if I'm wrong  ) the difference between a sub and a slave is similar to the difference between a pet dog and a working dog.

Both should be obedient to their master. Both are looked after by their master but a master will generally look after a pet dog somewhat differently from a working dog - seeking perhaps to give the pet the sort of food and treats it will enjoy while the working dog's feelings are ignored; it gets the food it needs to be a healthy, strong and effective worker.

Both dogs are expected to be obedient but I think this degree of consideration from the master for the dog's feelings is one aspect which differentiates in this analogy -  the other is the relationship; the working dog is there simply to serve, the pet is there for company; one gets stroked and praised frequently, the other is expected simply to perform without special reward.

Is there more to it?

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RE: Analogies - 12/19/2008 9:54:33 AM   
missturbation


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I have one but it's not popular.
 
Taken from my journal - renting a temporary purchase.
 
this was written about 18 months ago when my then Sir and i were haveing one of our conversations. We were talking about ownership and i said that i sometimes felt owned by him even though he had never taken ownership of me. It took some time to think about why i felt like this but eventually i came up with the following:-When you rent a tv for example, you expect to to get the same service as when you buy one. You expect it to show all channels, you expect the picture to be clear. In short you expect it to function just in the same way as if you had bought it.The tv if rented would show you sall four channels, picture clear just as it would if you had bought it. It would give you the same service in rental as in purchase.So therefore i for want of better words can only explain my feelings of being owned as being similar to the above references to the tv. Sir to a certain degree 'rented' me and therefore deserved the same service i would have given if i was 'owned.'By 'renting' Sir owned me for that period of time he wished to use my services and therefore in that time span i felt 'owned'.

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RE: Analogies - 12/19/2008 11:12:39 AM   
Lockit


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I now know what I want for Christmas!  A new car! lol  Too bad there isn't a dealership on every corner!

Cool analogy! (thinking about the rent a center though) hehe

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RE: Analogies - 12/19/2008 11:44:12 AM   
Mercnbeth


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it's not as sexy as the car analogy, of course...but, this slave will give it a whirl...
 
this slave is the home.  Master is the homeowner.  He didn't inspire it's existance.  He took over ownership of it, from it's previous owners, who built it to certain specifications.
 
Once He took ownership of it, He modified it, to suit His needs, wants and desires.  Decorates it, as He sees fit.  Tears down walls that are no longer necessary, freeing up space for Himself to find comfort and joy in.  It is His sanctuary, His spa, His dungeon and where He feasts.  He relieves Himself, and His tensions, there.
 
He maintains it, in a manner He finds pleasing...making sure it is clean and tidy to His specifications---sometimes, He has others do the work, so that He can just relax and enjoy the results.
 
He shares His home with His friends and family...not the innermost sanctum, but the joy that He finds there ripples out and He welcomes others to share His joy with it...as long as they are respectful of His house rules.

He is firecely protective of it, and doesn't permit it to be disrespected or abused by any He shares it with.

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RE: Analogies - 12/19/2008 11:53:51 AM   
cpK69


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Nice whirl!!!
 
Kim

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RE: Analogies - 12/19/2008 11:57:51 AM   
RCdc


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Hello SD, much love to you.

My analogy is that of a religious bent (well, you know me!).
He is the vine, and I am the branch that grows fruitful whilsts connected to him.
He is the gardener, pruning and caring.  Nurturing to make his garden bloom.  I don't always know the sun that I need or the water I must have I simply accept his labours and they in turn are reflected in garden.  This makes it a place that people wish to be and enjoy as well.  And although they may share in it, they may not touch nor caress the blooms, for they may bruise the petals and harm the roots.  Only the hand of the skilled gardener may use his exact knowledge and skills.
 
the.dark.

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RE: Analogies - 12/19/2008 12:23:22 PM   
greeneyedreamer


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I love all of the analogies! Great minds... all of you... Haven't thought about how I would say it yet... trying to figure it out...

Dreamer

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RE: Analogies - 12/19/2008 5:58:11 PM   
Timoty


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I find analogies wonderful learning tools and a way to make complex thoughts, or, processes more understandable. I liked the car analogy and have used a version of it myself, from time-to-time. I thought I was going to like the pet/working dog analogy, and, did to a point, but I have had experience with working dogs (slaves), not so much with pets (submissives) and felt it had some misconceptions.

My uncle had a sheep ranch and also raised world class sheep dogs for his use, and, for sale to other ranchers. While they were never allowed on the couch, nor, to eat anything that was bad for it, nor, sleep in the house they were looked upon and treated as an integral contributing member of the household and its ultimate welfare. For example, any one of the dogs would see a vet if something was wrong a lot faster than one of my cousins would see a doctor if something was wrong with them. Once the dogs were born, they would be kept together and never see or hear a sheep for at least six months after birth. Then one day, my uncle would take one of them and place them in a field of sheep. My uncle would watch them carefully. Some would, within minutes, start to herd sheep. Crudely because they were not trained yet but herding nonetheless. These few, he would start training and teaching. The ones that didn't would immediately go back to their brothers and sisters (away from the sheep) until they would be tested again in a few weeks. Eventually, everyone of them passed and would commence learning better ways to herd.

If it were a dog my uncle was going to keep, he started one way with the dog. If it were for someone else, he immediately started the new owner in the training process. Primarily because the dog would become fiercely loyal to the Master/Teacher and he did not want the dog to have mixed signals. So, my uncle wound up with a fiercely loyal dog, a dog that was completely protective of the most valuable commodity of the family (the sheep), loved every bit of attention it got from its Master (they never got treats for doing what they were born to do but got special attention for other things), and they were happy and well adjusted dogs. So, I believe the slave analogy does stand with a working dog but on a much more positive note than the original analogy implied.

As a side note, my uncle thought pet dogs were confused dogs that were sent mixed messages by their owners and never got to realize the purpose of their birth and breeding. I will not say here that his views are perfect fit for the submissve analogy, but it was my uncles opinion about household pet dogs.

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RE: Analogies - 12/19/2008 7:05:26 PM   
stella41b


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With words common such as 'scene' and 'play' and coming from me there can only be one analogy - BDSM and theatre.

Peter Brook defines theatre as an empty space, an actor (performer) and an audience and similarly in WIITWD you have the empty space, the submissive as a performer and the dominant as both audience and director. In his book 'The Empty Space' Brook classifies theatre into four main categories - Holy Theatre, Deadly Theatre, Immediate Theatre and Rough Theatre and I feel you could have the same classifications in WIITWD - Holy, Deadly, Rough and Immediate.

What of the difference between submission and enslavement? In theatre you have repertory theatre - musicals, the classics, and this to me is enslavement, the M/s dynamic, to some the 'higher' form of WIITWD (I disagree) for like the slave the repertory actor has little in the way of freedom, the same notes must be reached in the songs of Les Miserables and Cats and the Iambic pentameter is employed in the sonnets of Shakespeare, and the standards of performance are uniform. However you also have fringe theatre and alternative theatre, adaptations, improvization, the works of obscure playwrights such as Sarah Kane, Daniel Dmitriov, sketches and live comedy, and so too you have D/s, for some more intimate, for others with more improvization, diverse, obscure.

Theatre is about people and so is WIITWD, both require a place, a space, a venue, and both may involve a set (St Andrews Cross, benches, stools), costumes (corsets, boots, leather, etc) and props (floggers, canes, crops, dildoes, cuffs, collars, chains, rope, etc). In theatre you have events, festivals and tournaments, as you do with WIITWD - munches, events, clubs, scenes. However not all theatres stage performances, there are many who tour giving workshops, and many WIITWD couples do not perform publicly or even at play parties.

Even the motivations are similar. The actors love the stage as the submissives love play, directors and playwrights love to see their ideas come to life very much in the same way as dominants and speaking from personal experience of both a good rehearsal or performance can give me the same buzz as a scene or a session - it's something greater even than sex, and just like I often prefer a session I also prefer a good rehearsal or performance to a fuck.

Both theatre and WIITWD thrive on a balance of Meyerhold's constructivism and ritual or protocol with improvization and spontaneity, and the Stanislavski Method of acting, naturalistic, working from the inside out could equally apply to WIITWD. Indeed in my own theory of modern fringe theatre much of the inspiration comes from none other than my experiences in WIITWD. Just like theatre you can study WIITWD, you can be trained in the same way, but WIITWD just like theatre only comes into its own when you experience it.

Even the thinking is similar, as in YKIOK or YKINOK, for to quote Shakespeare, "There is nothing good or bad, only thinking makes it so."


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RE: Analogies - 12/19/2008 7:45:02 PM   
cpK69


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~fr~

I am a universe, he is a god.
 
Kim

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Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

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RE: Analogies - 12/20/2008 2:16:04 AM   
NorthernGent


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'Rule of Law'

The right of opinion and the right of appeal, but the law's decision is final.

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I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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RE: Analogies - 12/20/2008 7:46:59 AM   
chamberqueen


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I often use analogies for a poly relationship.  I have two favorites.

One is the idea of toys in a nursery.  Children love new and bright and shiny toys and may set aside their favorite blankie for awhile, but when they need comfort or something familiar they will go back and need that blankie.  Not matter how many new toys come in that blankie will be a favorite.

Another is with planets revolving around the Sun (Master).  The paths of the planets may rarely cross.  Some will know that the others exist; others may not.  There may be a moon revolving around one of the planets (a sub to a sub or a Dom that is allowed to play with her) but all go around the Sun ultimately.   There may be comets that streak in with their beauty and glory and are gone as quickly.  Only the Sun can see all of what is going on around it and its magnetism keeps things in balance and motion. 



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