Can anyone explain... (Full Version)

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FourQ -> Can anyone explain... (12/19/2008 3:54:35 PM)

Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
You never know where to look when eating a banana.
You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
Old ladies can eat more than you think.
You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your arse?
Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic'?
Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?
What do people in China call their good quality plates?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
What do you call male ballerinas?
Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?




sirsholly -> RE: Can anyone explain... (12/19/2008 3:56:57 PM)

[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]




MarksFantasyGirl -> RE: Can anyone explain... (12/20/2008 8:07:44 PM)

OMG!!!!  Thank you so much!!!  I just read these all to my dad.  We cracked up for about a half hour.  Mostly because we had to keep taking breaks to BREATHE!!!!!  Wonderful!!!




FourQ -> RE: Can anyone explain... (12/21/2008 3:51:29 AM)

I'm so glad it's not just me that does that.
As a kid I always thought that was because of my asthma - turns out I just got the jokes first.




BlackPhx -> RE: Can anyone explain... (12/21/2008 6:48:43 AM)

Must...Resist...Answering...These...


Poenkitten who knew someone who had their leg broken by a Swan and another who had their arm and 2 ribs broken by a goose.




FourQ -> RE: Can anyone explain... (12/21/2008 6:51:39 AM)

lol - CM, the place where the impossible and unheard of occurs regularly.




kittinSol -> RE: Can anyone explain... (12/21/2008 6:56:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FourQ
Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?


Because undressing is an erotic act (that's how strippers make a living), and you wouldn't want to turn your gyne on.

quote:


Is French kissing in France just called kissing?


"Baiser profond" (a deep kiss [8D]).

quote:

What do you call male ballerinas?


Ballerinos?





BlackPhx -> RE: Can anyone explain... (12/21/2008 6:57:20 AM)

Snicker...Nope it was a farm...and trust me when I say if you want a GREAT watchdog that will protect your property..get a goose. The Swan was funny though..the kid slipped and fell from the tree he was climbing to get away from the Swan when she chased him away from her nest and newly hatched cygnets.

poenkitten




FourQ -> RE: Can anyone explain... (12/21/2008 7:05:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol
quote:

ORIGINAL: FourQ
Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

Because undressing is an erotic act (that's how strippers make a living), and you wouldn't want to turn your gynae on.

I wouldn't - I'm a bloke, but I've known a few lasses that have wanted to... and indeed tried!




BlackPhx -> RE: Can anyone explain... (12/21/2008 7:25:03 AM)

The French use "Danseur" and "Danseuse," the masculine and feminine forms, respectively for Ballet Dancers or Ballare which is the original Latin root for the word meaning to dance.
That little frisson of fear that comes when petting a strange horse for the first time has to do with the size of their teeth (yes they do bite) and the hooves that can do a good job of stepping on or kicking you, not to discount the weight which can be crushing even if all they do is lean against you.
Plate in Chinese is Pan Zi (zeh), for Bowl  Wan not sure of the collective word.
And I solemnly swear to respect any man who carries a Pit Bull, Bull Terrier or or Bull Dog under their arm as a pocket pet. [:-]

poenkitten (OK so the Swan was the cause not the breaker..)






lilmissdefiant -> RE: Can anyone explain... (12/21/2008 7:40:03 AM)

still funny as hell




kittinSol -> RE: Can anyone explain... (12/21/2008 7:51:06 AM)

The term "ballerine" in French has no male equivalent - but it is rarely used. It's an old fashioned noun that conveys quaint images reminiscent of Degas' paintings - think Marie Taglioni rather than Sylvie Guillem. The term "danseuse" (for female dancers) is far more common (it's "danseurs" for the blokes).




Hanable -> RE: Can anyone explain... (12/21/2008 10:49:50 AM)

snort* cant.. answer.. want to so badly.. must keep quiet. know how to answer.. so many...

H >:)




Saratov -> RE: Can anyone explain... (12/21/2008 4:40:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackPhx

The French use "Danseur" and "Danseuse," the masculine and feminine forms, respectively for Ballet Dancers or Ballare which is the original Latin root for the word meaning to dance.

poenkitten (OK so the Swan was the cause not the breaker..)



Sooo, "Danseur" is french for 'light in the toe shoes'?   [sm=confused.gif]




BlackPhx -> RE: Can anyone explain... (12/21/2008 7:01:14 PM)

[:D][:D][:D][:D]

poenkitten




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