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France - 12/19/2008 4:30:31 PM

FourQ

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France

'France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes.'

Mark Twain

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'I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me.'

General George S. Patton

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'Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.'

Norman Schwartzkopf

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'We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it.'

Marge Simpson

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'As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure.'

Jacques Chirac, President of France

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'The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee.'

Regis Philbin

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'You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it.'

John McCain , U.S. Senator from Arizona

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'The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag.'

David Letterman

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'Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada .'

Ted Nugent

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'War without France would be like .. World War II.'

Unknown

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'The favourite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says 'First Iraq , then France .''

Tom Brokaw

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'What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?'

Dennis Miller

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'It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us.'

Alan Kent

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'They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house.'

Argus Hamilton

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'Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day --the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.''

Rep. Roy Blunt, MO

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'The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq '

Dennis Miller

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Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?

A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?

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'Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris ? It's not known, it's never been tried.'

Rep. R. Blount, MO

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'Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining.'

John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv

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The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military.

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The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

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RE: France - 12/19/2008 4:43:12 PM

Raechard

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quote:

'As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure.'
Jacques Chirac, President of France

‘War is a failure of diplomacy’, I think is the better quote here.

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RE: France - 12/19/2008 5:22:32 PM

kittinSol

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It's a testament to the power of French culture that it made such an impression on you, you felt the need to post this thread :-) .

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RE: France - 12/19/2008 5:31:24 PM

GreedyTop

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*tacklesmooches KS* I wondered how long it would be before you spotted this thread/...LOL

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RE: France - 12/19/2008 5:50:49 PM

kittinSol

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Salut ma belle :-) .

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RE: France - 12/19/2008 5:59:52 PM

Huntertn

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viva la france..lololol...hey...at least they know what they like or dislike..unlike most of Americans they don't try to hide it...Can you ever see a ex rocker chic as the president's wife??? lol

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RE: France - 12/19/2008 7:02:37 PM

Termyn8or

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I don't think so, it's always a bunch in a row. These are no doubt gleaned from other sites and brought in, the OP thinking "These guys will love this".

Besides, I think it was France's turn anyway. Now back to your regularly scheduled Polaks, Arabs, Turks and Irishmen.

T

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RE: France - 12/20/2008 3:00:14 AM

FourQ

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I think most have figured by now that if it makes me laugh and isn't "in your face offensive" then it gets posted.
I don't think these things up, just post either what's come through by e-mail or the jokes sitting on the terastation.

I've refrained from posting the ones I think will offend the masses or the few that offend myself.

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RE: France - 12/22/2008 9:30:44 AM

Nexo

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Interestingly, I posted this joke on another group, and got slimed by a French Canadian who was triggered by it. She felt I was aiming it directly at her. I wasn't. I just cross post jokes I find funny, and I never expect anybody to like the same jokes I do.

What I find interesting is the joke is about French people, and NOT French Canadians. From what I understand, the French do not consider French-Canadians to be French.

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RE: France - 12/22/2008 10:33:14 AM

Marc2b

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“I have no special regard for Satan; but I can at least claim that I have no prejudice against him. It may even be that I lean a little his way, on account of his not having a fair show. All religions issue bibles against him, and say the most injurious things about him, but we never hear his side. We have none but the evidence for the prosecution, and yet we have rendered the verdict. To my mind, this is irregular. It is un-English; it is un-American; it is French. Without this precedent Dreyfus could not have been condemned.”
- Mark Twain

There can be a fine line between good natured rib poking and offensive racial stereotyping. Personally I don’t see any of the OP’s post as falling into the latter category – but each person has there own line. Nor should we assume always assume the latter.

I’ve told my share of “the French are cowards” themed jokes but I am also aware of the stories my great uncle told me. He was a fighter pilot during WWII and was shot down over France. He spent three months hiding in the homes of French citizens (who risked their lives to do so) and traveling with the French Resistance before escaping enemy territory. He told many a story of French bravery, sacrifice, and heroism. He was not at all happy with the anti-French sentiment that swept the United States just after 9-11.

Any rumors that we now have French cousins are unproven.

“Yes folks, there was a day an age when defeating a French army was an accomplishment worthy of proclaiming a holiday”
- Dennis Miller (paraphrase) after explaining the origins of Cinco De Mayo.

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