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Racquelle -> RE: deceit and Dominance (12/20/2008 3:22:07 PM)
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I just saw another profile on TV about that male dom who manipulated several and then killed a sub he met online. He is, by far, the exception, not the rule. But a few things the women they interviewed spoke to some of the inherent pitfalls of connecting online for this specific kind of relationship. When you meet online, there is sometimes a tremendous frenzy of verbal communication, but it's written, which means each of us self-edits, simply by nature of the medium. Is it an intent to be deceptive? Perhaps not. For many it is simply an intent to show ourselves in the best light - like a job interview. Then there is really very little opportunity for the other forms of communication that we rely on in "meatspace". We do not neccessarily realize what we are missing.
Plus, you are a sub who is searching. You openly communicate a desire to find someone who is strong, charismatic, persuasive. Those kinds of traits are a double edged sword. A person who wants to deceive and manipulate will exploit your need.
The good thing is that you did spend enough time with him in real-life to pick-up on the signals that made you uncomfortable, and you made the choice to look a little deeper. A relationship like this requires MORE disclosure, not less. From what you say, you have learned a lot. You are not the only person to have ever been deceived this way. It's good of you to share though - because then everyone learns from your experience.
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