RE: Reverence. (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

tonia78 -> RE: Reverence. (12/20/2008 10:03:48 PM)

I think that it is a personal connection.

what means nothing to one, means everything to another



NuevaVida -> RE: Reverence. (12/20/2008 10:40:41 PM)

I tend to hold people in high regard, even in reverence, for character traits, upheld values, and what they contribute to the good of others, rather than for basic personal traits that have no great ripple effect (like pain tolerance, for example).  I understand you likely picked up on the negative tone toward the word "reverence" in the pain tolerance thread, and I don't think it is the act of revering another that was met with such a negative reception, rather misplaced reverence.  

Of course, who's to say whether or not the object of awe for someone is appropriate?  I do believe, however, the question in the other thread was asking why someone would be revered for a trait that had no real meaning to the greater good of humanity.  The negative response was, I believe, a general reflection of the idea that being born with a higher pain tolerance (or even being trained for one) is not necessarily some great feat that should be looked upon with awe.  Impressive - perhaps.  Awe invoking - perhaps not so much.

Then again, we're all entitled to who or what we hold in awe, and reaching a unanimous decision on that is pretty well impossible.



IronBear -> RE: Reverence. (12/21/2008 5:00:11 AM)

I rarely think let alone say the word revere except for some unique people who I hold in the greatest esteem. I do however think and talk in terms of preferences. There are people or interests etc which I have strong preferences about. Ergo, I guess we can transpose the term Prefer with Revere. 



chamberqueen -> RE: Reverence. (12/21/2008 8:19:15 AM)

You hit the nail on the head when you said it is about personal preference. What draws you to specific people may drive someone else away.  If I were to describe the people whom I most respect it would be those who combine empathy and intelligence but at the same time won't put up with someone wallowing in self pity or simply holding views which are selfish and/or closed minded.  Others would see empathy as a weakness.

I don't think there is any true hierarchy in the BDSM world as to what traits make the best Dom or sub.  There may be personal opinions on it based on a person's likes and dislikes.  What makes me a good slave to my Master may turn the next person off completely.  It is not a contest based on traits or personalities but a consensual decision from within the relationship.  Where there are multiple partners one is not necessarily more revered or respected than the others but they each fulfill a need.  There need be no jealousy, no pissing contests.   Each sub should ideally feel fulfilled and valued but should not compare themselves to any of the others. 



missturbation -> RE: Reverence. (12/21/2008 8:25:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

I tend to hold people in high regard, even in reverence, for character traits, upheld values, and what they contribute to the good of others, rather than for basic personal traits that have no great ripple effect (like pain tolerance, for example).  I understand you likely picked up on the negative tone toward the word "reverence" in the pain tolerance thread, and I don't think it is the act of revering another that was met with such a negative reception, rather misplaced reverence.  


Ok let's think about this for a moment. To revere someone for a character trait is cool and i can see why people would. However aren't character traits pretty natural, not worked upon really?
Personally i revere those who work at being something like dancers, artists etc. People like mother theresa who dedicated their lives to others, not someone who was born with a silver spoon in their mouth and giving away a million to help others is nothing.
I may well have been born with a high pain tolerance but that doesn't mean i don't work at it too. I'm just like anyone who pushes their limits, reaches for the stars, tries to improve.
You mention a ripple effect, well i don't think it's the size of the ripple you cause that matters, only that you cause one. No matter who's life you are improving with that ripple, your own, your partners, the worlds, it is just as important.
Misplaced reverence. Well i'm sure there are times when i see misplaced reverence but that is only my opinion. It bugs me that it is ok to revere someone who has worked at being a dancer, worked to improve their self confidence but hell if you work to improve your pain tolerance you don't deserve reverence!! It is misplaced, nothing to revere.

quote:


Of course, who's to say whether or not the object of awe for someone is appropriate?  I do believe, however, the question in the other thread was asking why someone would be revered for a trait that had no real meaning to the greater good of humanity. 



Many people are revered for things that are of no great good to humanity. As i said previously reverence doesn't have to be for those who create big ripples, the small ones are just as important.
 
quote:

The negative response was, I believe, a general reflection of the idea that being born with a higher pain tolerance (or even being trained for one) is not necessarily some great feat that should be looked upon with awe.  Impressive - perhaps.  Awe invoking - perhaps not so much.


In my humble opinion anything you have to work hard to achieve is a great feat. Most people would not object to a dancer who has being training to go on point and finally achieved it being revered.
 
~general reply~
The truth (for me, in my opinion, experience) is that for reasons i cannot quite fathom out, people with higher pain thresholds are always being pulled down in some shape or form.
There is the old question of 'what is a high pain threshold?' Everytime i see high pain threshold mentioned someone says 'well whos to say what is high anyway?' I don't see the same response when someone claims to have a low pain threshold.
If someone admires, envies, reveres, prefers someone with a high pain threshold there are always people who jump in and claim there are far more important things, as though that is fact for everyone.
It is always assumed that people with higher pain tolerance are born with it and never have to work at it. So in turn why revere something that is natural?
You only have to look at the response to some threads about higher pain tolerance activities to see people looking down from their perches. The implication is always there that some activities are mental, people are wrong for doing them, people are judged for expanding.
People with a high pain threshold are in my experience a rarity but that doesn't make them wrong or freaky or mental to be fulfilling themselves and growing and expanding on their pain tolerance. To be blunt the majority of play i see in clubs, private parties, described on here really does nothing for me. I think of it as fluffy and not for me. Thats not to say i judge it, think it is wrong or any worse or better than what i do but, i could. I could be just as judgemental and closed minded to low pain tolerance as people around here and in the scene are to high pain tolerance.
I think there is a certain amount of jealousy, envy, awe, intolerance, non-understanding and judgement aimed at those with high pain thresholds and to be honest it bugs the hell out of me. I know we say this all the time but for a community who claims to be different and to celebrate those differences, it sure sucks to be different at times.



NuevaVida -> RE: Reverence. (12/21/2008 10:03:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation


Ok let's think about this for a moment. To revere someone for a character trait is cool and i can see why people would. However aren't character traits pretty natural, not worked upon really?


I'd say it depends and it's a matter of opinion.  Remember, reverence means to be in awe, which is a much higher and stronger regard than simply being impressed with someone or admiring someone.  Reverence, in its literal form, is close to worship.  It takes a lot for me to hold someone in that high regard. 

That said, character traits may come naturally to some, but it takes some pretty strong dedication and devotion to maintain such traits that I personally would hold in reverence.  It's not easy to have courage in extreme adversity.  It's not always easy to do the right thing in times of turmoil and strife.  When called to perform such character traits in the most difficult times, well that's when we know what people are made of, and who takes the high road vs. the easy way out. 
quote:


Personally i revere those who work at being something like dancers, artists etc. People like mother theresa who dedicated their lives to others, not someone who was born with a silver spoon in their mouth and giving away a million to help others is nothing.


I greatly admire artists who spend their lives mastering their work and share such art and talent with the world.  They can serve as an inspiration to others to follow their dreams, or they can simply bring about joy and beauty for people to enjoy. 

I don't necessarily separate the Mother Teresas from the Bill Gates' of the world, in that when it all boils done to it, no one is obligated, no one has to do anything.  Despise Gates as some may, but he is pretty much the highest single contributor to the efforts to improve this country's educational system, so that the youth of today might stand a better chance in tomorrow's world.  The amount of money his foundation gives away is phenomenal, particularly when compared to, for example, Wal-Mart, one of the richest companies yet smallest contributors of charity.

This is not to say I hold either in reverence, only I am likely more inclined to greatly admire one who will put him/herself in a third world country and actually work amongst the most extreme poverty-stricken conditions. 

But how far can charitable efforts do without funding?  I wholly disagree with your opinion that those who contribute are "nothing."

quote:


I may well have been born with a high pain tolerance but that doesn't mean i don't work at it too. I'm just like anyone who pushes their limits, reaches for the stars, tries to improve.

And I do not deny that to achieve one's best is to be admired and respected.  I do not hold people who master pain tolerance in the realm of worship, however, nor would I dare to wish others to hold me in such high regard for striving to meet my personal stars.  Personally I believe reaching a personal best is what people should be striving for, and as they do, then absolutely kudos to them.  But to hold them in awe/reverence/worship-worthy regard is, in my opinion, overkill.

quote:


You mention a ripple effect, well i don't think it's the size of the ripple you cause that matters, only that you cause one. No matter who's life you are improving with that ripple, your own, your partners, the worlds, it is just as important.


I honestly can not, nor will I attempt to, measure the importance of one's ripple effect or how far it reaches.  I might affect you somehow, which in turn affects someone else, and so on and so on.  What I said in my post was a reference of having a "great" ripple effect toward the good of humanity.  That might very well be simply touching one person's soul in a way that changes him/her.  In my own admitted blindness on the issue of pain tolerance, I do not equate the achievement of mastering the ability to take a stronger whipping with the achievement of improving the life of a family living in severe poverty.  I might very well share pride for the whipping achiever, but unless he/she has accomplished what I view to be worship-worthy achievements, I will not necessarily be in awe.  I leave that door open, however, as I realize there may be possibilities I am unaware of.

quote:


Misplaced reverence. Well i'm sure there are times when i see misplaced reverence but that is only my opinion. It bugs me that it is ok to revere someone who has worked at being a dancer, worked to improve their self confidence but hell if you work to improve your pain tolerance you don't deserve reverence!! It is misplaced, nothing to revere.



I believe we may be using different definitions for "reverence."  And as I said in my post, we all have different opinions and measuring sticks of what deserves reverence.  What seems misplaced to me might seem fully appropriate to you, and vice-versa.  I am not the decider of what others should revere, nor are you.  If you believe pain tolerance is reverence-worthy, you are entitled to do so.  If I don't believe that, I am entitled not to.  It's ok to disagree here.  For what it's worth, I personally don't hold self improvement in a particular goal (dancing, esteem, etc.) as reverence-worthy achievements.

quote:


Many people are revered for things that are of no great good to humanity. As i said previously reverence doesn't have to be for those who create big ripples, the small ones are just as important.


And as I have said, then and now, individuals get to decide for themselves what is reverence-worthy.

quote:


In my humble opinion anything you have to work hard to achieve is a great feat. Most people would not object to a dancer who has being training to go on point and finally achieved it being revered.

Perhaps not.  Although I suspect just as many people object.
 
quote:


I know we say this all the time but for a community who claims to be different and to celebrate those differences, it sure sucks to be different at times.

Absolutely, in any walk of life, it can suck to be different.  What I hold in even higher regard than someone who achieves a personal best is one who does so while holding his/her head high, unaffected by the nay-sayers.  How about, instead of being angry and bugged by those you may find to be petty and jealous, having compassion for them instead, and loving them anyway?  That is what is most admirable to me.



missturbation -> RE: Reverence. (12/21/2008 10:40:57 AM)

Hi Nueva,
 
I think a lot of our difference in opinion lies in the definition of reverence. I don't see the worship in the definition that obviously a few do. To hold in high repect tinged with awe does not scream worship or anything close to me.
 
quote:

That said, character traits may come naturally to some, but it takes some pretty strong dedication and devotion to maintain such traits that I personally would hold in reverence.

Yeah takes some bollocks doesn't it? It takes some pretty strong dedication and devotion to stand up for what i believe here and open myself up to the high pain threshold bashing brigade. It takes some bollocks to still stand in a club and play to the level i do knowing i am going to take some serious flack for it.
 
quote:

But how far can charitable efforts do without funding?  I wholly disagree with your opinion that those who contribute are "nothing."

I didn't say they were nothing. I said its very easy to open your wallet as a millionaire and spread a bit of dosh. Not so easy to open your heart and your life and give your time to help people.
 
quote:

What I hold in even higher regard than someone who achieves a personal best is one who does so while holding his/her head high, unaffected by the nay-sayers.  How about, instead of being angry and bugged by those you may find to be petty and jealous, having compassion for them instead, and loving them anyway?  That is what is most admirable to me.

I'm human, i cannot as can anyone else always rise above it. I feel sorry for anyone who is jealous of me or petty because of me cos let me tell you my pain tolerance may be enviable but the rest of my life is a shambles.




NuevaVida -> RE: Reverence. (12/21/2008 10:51:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Hi Nueva,
 
I think a lot of our difference in opinion lies in the definition of reverence. I don't see the worship in the definition that obviously a few do. To hold in high repect tinged with awe does not scream worship or anything close to me.



Hi again, misst. :)

Yes, I understand I am defining "reverence" in its most extreme form.  This is likely where and why we differ so much.
 
quote:


Yeah takes some bollocks doesn't it? It takes some pretty strong dedication and devotion to stand up for what i believe here and open myself up to the high pain threshold bashing brigade. It takes some bollocks to still stand in a club and play to the level i do knowing i am going to take some serious flack for it.


Sure it does, misst.  It always takes guts for people to speak an opposing point of view, and I respect those who do.  There have been many instances when I did not post on the things I did for my former master because I didn't want to deal with the negative remarks I knew I would receive.  So yes, kudos and respect to you for doing so.  But I don't hold that in "awe" or "worship-worthy", as I define it. 
 
quote:


I didn't say they were nothing. I said its very easy to open your wallet as a millionaire and spread a bit of dosh. Not so easy to open your heart and your life and give your time to help people.

I got your "nothing" comment from when you said "People like mother theresa who dedicated their lives to others, not someone who was born with a silver spoon in their mouth and giving away a million to help others is nothing. "  Sure it may be more difficult for someone to open his/her heart than to write a check.  But neither is obligated.  And, in my opinion, neither act deserves awe in and of itself.
 
quote:


I'm human, i cannot as can anyone else always rise above it. I feel sorry for anyone who is jealous of me or petty because of me cos let me tell you my pain tolerance may be enviable but the rest of my life is a shambles.


Well this is what I'm talking about, misst, and I truly intend no disrespect here.  The people who are awe-worthy to me, are those who do manage to rise above it.  I respect those who try and fail - hell I've tried and failed a million times at a million things.  But when someone actually does rise above their own ego/flaws/insecurities/"humanness" such that they do not look at nay sayers with pity, anger or any other such negativity - that is when I am touched and truly impressed.  That is what gets my highest admiration, because that is what I personally strive for and fail at time and again.



missturbation -> RE: Reverence. (12/21/2008 11:00:57 AM)

quote:

Sure it does, misst.  It always takes guts for people to speak an opposing point of view, and I respect those who do.  There have been many instances when I did not post on the things I did for my former master because I didn't want to deal with the negative remarks I knew I would receive.  So yes, kudos and respect to you for doing so.  But I don't hold that in "awe" or "worship-worthy", as I define it. 

Hell i have refrained many many times from putting what i really think or sharing something because i know i will get blasted.
I agree it is not worthy of awe or worship but there are people out there who feel it is. Trust me these people who do quite often land in my mail box.
 
quote:

But when someone actually does rise above their own ego/flaws/insecurities/"humanness" such that they do not look at nay sayers with pity, anger or any other such negativity - that is when I am touched and truly impressed.  That is what gets my highest admiration, because that is what I personally strive for and fail at time and again.

See the people you describe above do not get my highest admiration because i don't believe they exist. Noone can really do as you described but they can pretend to.
I highly admire people who do show their humaness, their flaws, their insecurities, can admit they have ego. It takes a hell of a lot to admit you are human and capable of mistakes etc.
I guess thats just another example of what one reveres another doesn't. Neither wrong, neither right, just different. [:D]



everhope -> RE: Reverence. (12/21/2008 11:38:37 AM)

Dear misst,
in all due respect, i think you are making wayyyyyyyyyyy to much out of pretty much nothing. i don't think this rant is so much about  high pain tolerance as much, as i think it is about your own emotional pain.
looking at all this in perspective, it really is not the end of world and definetely not worth getting yourself so damn worked up about it.
i am sincerely sorry that you are at such an emotional painful place.
 
may we all find our bliss.   



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Reverence. (12/21/2008 11:40:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan

I'll take irreverance over reverance anytime. Imo, reverance is always illusion based.


Ahh damn, does this mean I have to stop worshipping you now?



RCdc -> RE: Reverence. (12/21/2008 1:29:01 PM)

Personally, I don't revere anyone.  But then, maybe I do?  Let me clarify - If I revere one person, then I revere all because I don't see anyone better or more talented than anyone else and I definately do not believe anyone is better or less than myself.  Yeah, some people are going to be talented at one thing, but then they are going to suck at something else.  Its all swings and roundabouts. So it's either all or none for me.
 
the.dark.



Sexycelticlady -> RE: Reverence. (12/21/2008 1:47:31 PM)

I have to say I agree with Everhope here.

quote:

See the people you describe above do not get my highest admiration because i don't believe they exist. Noone can really do as you described but they can pretend to.
I highly admire people who do show their humaness, their flaws, their insecurities, can admit they have ego. It takes a hell of a lot to admit you are human and capable of mistakes etc.
I guess thats just another example of what one reveres another doesn't. Neither wrong, neither right, just different. [:D]


Yes, they do exist and are capable of it, because they recognise that the only opinions that matter are their own and those they value, for example, their partner. You allow others to influence your thinking in a negative manner. What does their opinion actually matter? It doesnt. So why pay attention to what people, outside of the circle of those you trust, say?

No one is a robot and people who hide their emotions are just as flawed as those who constantly show their insecurities, using them as an excuse for whatever action they want to take or whatever emotion they wish to feel, neither is a trait I personally value. It doesn't actually take much to admit mistakes and flaws in today's society, what does take a lot is to recognise that the only one responsible for those things is yourself and only you can change it, preferably without using everyone around as a crutch while you try to improve.  

Your posts on this subject often smack of an inverse snobbery. I have actually not observed the type of reverence/irreverence you speak of with regard to those with different levels of pain tolerance and I think you are simply over sensitive to it. Let it go and be indifferent, what other people said should not influence you to this degree of emotion.



agirl -> RE: Reverence. (12/21/2008 2:45:42 PM)

The problem with using words like 'reverence' is that some people use them literally. AWE is defined as a 'feeling of great respect mixed with fear'.  It's not the same as the word 'admiration' which is defined as 'greatly approve of or respect'. 

The fact that other people that you noted.....Merc and Beth...KOM, Alandra and Kyra...LA and SimplyMicheal....hold other people closer or have a different regard for, is nothing to do with 'reverence'. You wouldn't even figure in it.

Appreciating skills, talents or gifts that people have is subjective, like it or not. I am most certainly going to appreciate the fantastic skill of the dancers in Riverdance. I have a rudimentary understanding of the amount of work that's gone into it and I LIKE it, admire it and WANT to watch it. It has an appeal that is a draw.

I'm afraid that someone working at taking 'more pain' just wouldn't raise the slightest interest. It's simply not that interesting or inspiring. Seriously, the only people that are likely to care are other people like you.

The fact is, the majority of people don't actually care how much pain anyone else can take. If it's some personal goal  then good for you.

I find it faintly ridiculous to imagine that taking a beating in a club is likely to draw reverence.

quote: NuevaVida

But when someone actually does rise above their own ego/flaws/insecurities/"humanness" such that they do not look at nay sayers with pity, anger or any other such negativity - that is when I am touched and truly impressed.  That is what gets my highest admiration, because that is what I personally strive for and fail at time and again.

See the people you describe above do not get my highest admiration because i don't believe they exist. Noone can really do as you described but they can pretend to.
I highly admire people who do show their humaness, their flaws, their insecurities, can admit they have ego. It takes a hell of a lot to admit you are human and capable of mistakes etc.
I guess thats just another example of what one reveres another doesn't. Neither wrong, neither right, just different.


I agree with NuevaVida here, and will add that some people also make a career out of bleating about their humaness, their flaws and their insecurities. It can look uncannily like attention seeking dressed up in a 'debate-dress'.

agirl










missturbation -> RE: Reverence. (12/21/2008 5:38:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: everhope

Dear misst,
in all due respect, i think you are making wayyyyyyyyyyy to much out of pretty much nothing. i don't think this rant is so much about  high pain tolerance as much, as i think it is about your own emotional pain.
looking at all this in perspective, it really is not the end of world and definetely not worth getting yourself so damn worked up about it.
i am sincerely sorry that you are at such an emotional painful place.
 
may we all find our bliss.   


I'm making something out of nothing! Well for myself and others i know the attitude i have described is not nothing. We may not be in the majority but we still have a right to air our views. It may be nothing to you but so are a lot of the threads i read on here nothing to me. I don't blame their emotional state for the fact they have started them though or make out they are wrong for starting the discussion.
 
quote:

Your posts on this subject often smack of an inverse snobbery. I have actually not observed the type of reverence/irreverence you speak of with regard to those with different levels of pain tolerance and I think you are simply over sensitive to it.

Snobbery? How so?
I have not observed people being negated for being low tolerance players but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. It also doesn't mean i would claim someone was over sensitive if they said they had been on the recieving end of it.
 
quote:

I'm afraid that someone working at taking 'more pain' just wouldn't raise the slightest interest. It's simply not that interesting or inspiring. Seriously, the only people that are likely to care are other people like you.

 
For you maybe. In actual fact i get a lot of mail from and know a lot of people who do not give out the sort of pain i withstand or do not take it who care and admire it.
 
quote:

The fact is, the majority of people don't actually care how much pain anyone else can take. If it's some personal goal  then good for you.

 
Care to prove what you state as fact?
It's not a personal goal for me. It is something i work on but not a goal as such. I have far more inspirational things to work on.
 
quote:

I find it faintly ridiculous to imagine that taking a beating in a club is likely to draw reverence.

 
Then obviously you have not been on the recieving end of it.
 
quote:

I agree with NuevaVida here, and will add that some people also make a career out of bleating about their humaness, their flaws and their insecurities. It can look uncannily like attention seeking dressed up in a 'debate-dress'.


Nice dig [:D]

 



IronBear -> RE: Reverence. (12/21/2008 9:23:32 PM)

Actually I'm going to agree with misst here. I know how many CM mails I get as well as my normal emails talking about similar things. Are they a minority? I haven't a clue. never done an in depth servey on it and can't see any reason why I chould unless I include it in my PhD [8|].  However from a psych/counsellor's view most folks who contact me are in need of someone to vent to which is fine.

Looking at the case of the wealthy opening their purses, I'd say there is a sliding scale taking into account not their dollar asset worth but their available spendable cash when assessing their contribution.. having spent some time involved with telethons and orther charitable fund raisers, many businesses prefer to either organize a fund raiser like for every dollar spent, a percentage goes into the charity and/or topping this off with a cash donation as well. (McDonalds do this to support their foiundation for kids with terminal cancer). I know a number of entertainers who give their time freely to help raise fiunds for charity. I do remember in Perth Western Australia, on one Telethon, the local Madams  contacted all the brothels and organized a fuck-a thon with the combined proceeds going to the charity. 24 hours later they came up with a combined total from Perth and Kalgoorlie of AU$1,000,000. Not a bad effort from the working girls and their establishments.



TheVoiceofOne -> RE: Reverence. (12/21/2008 10:44:43 PM)

My slave definitely displays reverence to me on a daily basis... I love it... My job, as I see it, is to remain worthy of said reverence.



agirl -> RE: Reverence. (12/22/2008 3:42:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

I tend to hold people in high regard, even in reverence, for character traits, upheld values, and what they contribute to the good of others, rather than for basic personal traits that have no great ripple effect (like pain tolerance, for example).  I understand you likely picked up on the negative tone toward the word "reverence" in the pain tolerance thread, and I don't think it is the act of revering another that was met with such a negative reception, rather misplaced reverence.  



I may well have been born with a high pain tolerance but that doesn't mean i don't work at it too. I'm just like anyone who pushes their limits, reaches for the stars, tries to improve.

Many people do it with all sorts of things......taking needles or being pierced can be a huge personal limit......few people expect or look to be to be revered for it though.


Misplaced reverence. Well i'm sure there are times when i see misplaced reverence but that is only my opinion. It bugs me that it is ok to revere someone who has worked at being a dancer, worked to improve their self confidence but hell if you work to improve your pain tolerance you don't deserve reverence!! It is misplaced, nothing to revere.

Working hard at being a dancer, or self confidence or pain tolerance are things people want for themselves. I suspect that most people would not hold it in reverence, though. They might well admire or appreciate it. A genuine * Gosh , well done* seems more likely to be a realistic response from others, not reverence. In the great scheme of things, dancing appeals to a far larger audience than pain, which has a relatively small pool of people to draw admiration from.


In my humble opinion anything you have to work hard to achieve is a great feat. Most people would not object to a dancer who has being training to go on point and finally achieved it being revered.

I don't think reverence comes into it. Most people don't hold it in reverence.
 
~general reply~
The truth (for me, in my opinion, experience) is that for reasons i cannot quite fathom out, people with higher pain thresholds are always being pulled down in some shape or form.
There is the old question of 'what is a high pain threshold?' Everytime i see high pain threshold mentioned someone says 'well whos to say what is high anyway?' I don't see the same response when someone claims to have a low pain threshold.

That's because who IS to say what a *high pain threshold* is....as everyone's pain tolerance will differ.


If someone admires, envies, reveres, prefers someone with a high pain threshold there are always people who jump in and claim there are far more important things, as though that is fact for everyone.
It is always assumed that people with higher pain tolerance are born with it and never have to work at it. So in turn why revere something that is natural?
You only have to look at the response to some threads about higher pain tolerance activities to see people looking down from their perches. The implication is always there that some activities are mental, people are wrong for doing them, people are judged for expanding.

There are just as many people having a field day bashing others for their *fluffy* activities.


People with a high pain threshold are in my experience a rarity but that doesn't make them wrong or freaky or mental to be fulfilling themselves and growing and expanding on their pain tolerance. To be blunt the majority of play i see in clubs, private parties, described on here really does nothing for me. I think of it as fluffy and not for me. Thats not to say i judge it, think it is wrong or any worse or better than what i do but, i could. I could be just as judgemental and closed minded to low pain tolerance as people around here and in the scene are to high pain tolerance.


People tend to play far more heavily in private, than in clubs, most people I know tone their play down when they are in a club and for most of them it isn't the time or the place.



I think there is a certain amount of jealousy, envy, awe, intolerance, non-understanding and judgement aimed at those with high pain thresholds and to be honest it bugs the hell out of me. I know we say this all the time but for a community who claims to be different and to celebrate those differences, it sure sucks to be different at times.

And yet you get a lot of mail saying the opposite and admiring you for it. You'll never get the universal opinion that playing heavily is worthy of reverence.



agirl



sirguym -> RE: Reverence. (12/22/2008 3:54:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I'm not supposed to view him in that light. He put an end to it very early on. Because he doesn't think he can live up to it. He wants me to see his feet of clay very clearly and love him flaws and all.

Reverence usually raises the expectations to include perfection, and that's a hard trick to pull off day in and day out.


I can identify with that. I can enjoy being revered, but would never claim to be perfect.

If I thought somebody was so blinded by their own worship as to be unable to see and accept my faults, I'd go out of my way to make them plain.



NorthernGent -> RE: Reverence. (12/22/2008 3:58:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

There is no reason to get on our high horses and proclaim there are things of far more value than what someone holds in a higher reverence. Is there?
 


I'm not so sure that 'awe' is appropriate, but I certainly have a great deal of respect for people with certain attributes. I agree with your central premise that the nature of value is entirely subjective and there is no reason to doubt or scoff at someone wishing to place someone else on a pedastal. The mere experience of being a human being and interacting with other humans, should tell anyone that humans come complete with their failings, but that doesn't mean you can't accept this while placing a great deal of value on the positive contribution made by an individual. In fact, those failings can endear you to a person; for example, to watch somone put their heart and soul into something yet come up short can be attractive - the reason being that we can empathise with that and empathise with the emotions engendered from not quite getting the reward for the effort put it(we've all been there).



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875