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THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY - 12/21/2008 9:02:47 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
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Law of Mechanical Repair 
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

 Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

 Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

 Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

 Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time)

 Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

 Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

 Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

 Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

 Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

 The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

 Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

 Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

 Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

 Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

 Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

 Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

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RE: THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY - 12/22/2008 4:38:40 AM   
sirsholly


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too true!!! 

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RE: THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY - 12/22/2008 6:24:02 AM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
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Missed one..

Chef's Law
As soon as you make a dish that everyone loves, you will forget the proportions of the ingredients and never be able to make it perfectly again.

sigh

poenkitten (giggling)

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RE: THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY - 12/22/2008 7:10:20 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
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Damn poen...you suffer from that too I see  LOL

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Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

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RE: THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY - 12/22/2008 7:51:24 AM   
FourQ


Posts: 1370
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I try to live my life by certain rules, certain standards...
Of course, something else is at play and it's all listed above!


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RE: THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY - 12/22/2008 4:48:29 PM   
Saratov


Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
Law of Automotive Repair
 
No matter how badly your car is running and how long it has been like this, as soon as you get it to the mechanic he will not be able to find the problem and it will run perfectly.

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RE: THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY - 12/23/2008 6:06:49 PM   
TCG503


Posts: 112
Joined: 2/15/2005
From: saint pauls, NC
Status: offline
Very True

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RE: THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY - 12/24/2008 7:44:29 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
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if youre a woman and the car thing happens...which it absolutely will...the only response you will get from the mechanic is an eyeroll and a bill....if you show your frustration over said falsely well running car...you will be branded insane by said mechanic and 15 minutes later when you have custody back and are driving along and it starts up again, youll have to go find another mechanic....

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