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stella41b -> RE: Mistresses vs. Dominant Girlfriends (12/23/2008 5:49:37 AM)
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Greetings Pinnipedster
Kind of sad here to notice that you're going through another spell of introspection, reflection, brought on by...? Loneliness? Frustration? You know we all have those times, and I can try and connect here to see if there's something that I can come out with that you're either seeking or which makes you feel better.
You know I remember when you first started posting here.. and you still ain't changed that photo have you for a smiling one..? But you didn't need to. But you know we're a hundred or so more posts from you, you're here with much better thoughts than when you started, made quite a bit of progress, and part of me is sitting here wishing I could just go down the gas station and buy a magic wand so you can meet 'her'.. just for no other reason than to see you for once truly happy, fulfilled, and... smiling.
But it's like that song, you know 'Wishing on a star'.. real life asin't like that, and besides far be it for someone like me or anyone else to wish you anything more than the above, because you're doing okay all on your own.
But you need to get rid of the emphasis on roles, but you need someone for your soul - someone who's into you Pinnipedster, not because you're submissive, not because you're kinky, not because you're anyone other than Pinnipedster, and you need to find that woman, not a domme, not a dominant woman, not a kinky woman, but just a woman with whom you can be yourself, and with whom together you can be the same - human beings being together and sharing together this exasperating but wonderful experience known as life.
But changing your focus isn't enough, and you don't want to end up as Square Eyes, where you become convinced that anything and everything in life comes to you through that plastic box you're currently staring at to read these words. There's a whole new world out there.. The technology shouldn't be replacing that real world experience, but making it much more accessible to you.
I've also searched for a domme, but as a life partner.. and my search took in over the years almost all of Europe, from Alma Ata and Tomsk in the East, to Ireland in the West, as far south as Greece and Itay and as far north as Iceland and Sweden.. When I felt there was nobody, I started to include Canada and the States. I've done half the Trans-Siberian railway trying to find someone. Now that I've found someone, it's my dream to cross the Atlantic, make it up to Alaska at some point, walk across the frozen Bering Strait, and make my way to Vladivostok to spend weeks on a train doing the whole Trans-Siberian railway from east to west, change in Moscow onto a train from Kazachstan to Poland, and arrive in Warsaw Central staion to say that I've been all the way round the world.
I've met dommes, doms, male suibmissives, female submissives, served a couple, and done all the kink and fetish stuff, I've submitted in at least three major European languages, and all these experiences were wonderful experiences and I met so many people. And what do you know?
Seems like one of the dommes I met from years back wants to be my life partner. She gets to London at the weekend. We just spent three years in a friendship, off and on, across distances, countries, borders, she isn't even online, I've been writing letters and exchanging text messages with her. We're meeting this weekend and neither of us can remember what we look like, and I've changed. A lot in three years. But you know we'll find each other.
Now (no laughs please folks) Ala (her name, I don't use Mistress, Goddess, Miss, or some other title) said a few months back that she wanted me as a collared slave. But this doesn't mean 24/7 BDSM, and as much as she can try for 24/7 M/s she probably won't get it, as I'm too much of a free spirit but then again if others can do it so can I. We can but try.
I'm going through my apartment attaching Post It notes onto anything and everything, labelling them in English so she can learn English (we communicate exclusively in Polish, our only common language), the necessities of life are going to be occupying us for the next year or two, she's got six UMs, the youngest in their late teens, and so we've got two homes..
She's coming into the theatre as she's been unemployed as a divorced single mother in an area of Poland with 60% unemployment. I haven't got a clue what's going to happen, and I'm not worried, as I know it will be fun and interesting whatever it is. At the end of the week she leaves the life she has known and travels to the Great Unknown in London to start a new life with me. Now I don't care what anyone says, in her shoes that takes guts and courage.
But this isn't about having a dream, anyone can have a dream. Anyone can have hope. But here we're talking about living a life on the basis of our hopes and dreams, and that is *our* lifestyle.
There's a lot of activity here right now, Christmas has been sacrificed on my part for the sake of a better 2009, on her side it's bittersweet as she's saying goodbye. I guess I should be overjoyed and thrilled and excited and all that but I'm not, if there's any overwhelming emotion I'm feeling right now it's one of gratitude and thankfulness towards her teenage daughters for agreeing to their mother spending a lot of time in London. I'm fully focussed on getting everything in place ready for when she gets here. Right now the last thing on my mind is D/s and kink and domination.
She's taken away the original reason for my having a profile on this site, but you know none of this would have been possible had I not been on the site, had I not found so much support, acceptance, understanding and friendship among so many people here.
I guess what I'm trying to say is take care of the friendships, just focus on being a friend and forming friendships, being there, out there for people, show them who you really are inside, an not only will you show yourself to be human, but the relationships, kinks, Mistresses, and all the beautiful things you're wishing and hoping for will come to you.
Believe in yourself, believe in your dreams, your goals, your life, work with other people towards those goals and dreams, and sooner or later they will become reality.
Happy Holidays
Be well
stella.
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