RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious

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YourhandMyAss -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/23/2008 5:03:14 PM)
Long Distance is when the distance makes it to great a burden to come every week or every few days And that descrption fit Daddy, since he lived 2 hours away and only had two day s a week to come down since work filled the other days . But if you need a mile estimation to qualify long distance then I'd say anything that required a plane ride to be even remotely doable with out taking like 6 or 7 days.After that anything more than 500 miles is long distance, and certaintly a thousand or more miles would be long distance. quote: ORIGINAL: califsue I know there is much talk about LDR and those who do or do not participate in such. Was curious to see what people consider a LDR. Is it 100 miles or more or the ability to see each other daily if you do not live 24/7 with your partner. I think most of us want to find someone local however depending on our location we may find that to be a challenge.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/23/2008 5:10:22 PM)
I am too, We finally live together after almost 3 years, I don't have to go anywhere to see the one I want to see. quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 I used to consider myself lucky when I only had to drive an hour and a half to meet. The twenty minutes I travel now is a dream and I can't get to what's waiting at the end fast enough or often enough. I no longer have to waste energy on travel or scheduling or any of that bullshit. I'm so spoiled....

YourhandMyAss -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/23/2008 5:12:23 PM)
I'd chose to be single, over both options. I refuse to ever do long distance again, and I refuse to ever again settle for mediocre. quote: ORIGINAL: lateralist1 Long distance for me is when I have to consider the time and cost of travelling. However I would rather have a good long distance relationship rather than a mediocre relationship with someone local to me.

littlewonder -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/23/2008 5:14:20 PM)
For me LDR is any distance farther than if I can't just call you up and say "hey wanna catch a movie?" If I can't do that then you're LDR and while I may be in one at the moment...they suck...big time..and swore I'd never do one a again but here I am...again.

kallisto -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/23/2008 6:09:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lateralist1 However I would rather have a good long distance relationship rather than a mediocre relationship with someone local to me. I think this sums it up quite nicely. It's the quality of the relationship that will make the distance worthwhile.

quietshysubnc -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/23/2008 7:18:11 PM)
Right now, depending on how the plane is flying, mine is about 5000 miles from me. He lives in Birmingham, UK and i live in NC, USA. We have talked, emailed, text, written letters and sent cards for over a year. He came to see me, for the first time on Dec. 12th of this year. i knew in my heart that i loved Him before we ever met, but when He walked out of the terminal and i saw Him it became "real". He will return to the states in March and i will go there in May. i have phone service through vonage and i have a "local" UK number that is for Him to use at no cost to Him. So, He phones on His lunch hour and we talk from the time He leaves work until He exits the motorway, which is about an hour or so, every day. OK, with all that rambling, for which i do apologize, a LDR is different to each person. Y/you both have to be willing to contribute to the relationship it to make it work. As with any relationship, there always has to be communication, especially when Y/you are not together 24/7 or even if Y/you are 5000 miles apart.

MisterP61 -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/24/2008 8:29:51 AM)
quote: *waves [sm=waves.gif] Pleasure to finally meet you. We have heard so much about you! Why thank you luscious. I have read many of your posts and feel as if I know you already (Is that a good thing?) LOL

MisterP61 -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/24/2008 8:33:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP We were about 150 miles apart, depending on traffic getting on or off Long Island that is a 3-5 hour drive. We aimed to see each other every three weeks, but every six was not uncommon, especially in winter when it appeared that every time we planned a meet snow was forecast. For me, if you aren't close enough to ever be able to spontaneously get together, that's a LDR. I will eventually figure out how to quote multiple people in one post, but for now this is how I must do it. I just want to commiserate with You Des. I was born and raised in LI, and know exactly what it feels like to drive the LID (Long Island Distressway). MisterP

LadyPact -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/24/2008 9:25:37 AM)
Don't worry, folks. I'm trying to help him learn. He's becoming a CM addict like the rest of us. LOL. As to the question of what I consider long distance, I think I'm a bit more liberal with the definition than some. If it's somewhere I can drive, have a decent amount of time with a person, and drive back within the same day, I don't consider that long distance. A three hours drive one way to Me isn't a big deal. If I'm willing to go that far to go to My favorite club or to attend a munch given by one of the groups in the surrounding areas, it shouldn't be too far for a submissive. A long distance relationship to Me requires plane travel and isn't something that can be done with convenience within a day. I think most of the regulars know that MisterP is only on leave from Korea and will be going back there next month. My sub clip is currently in NV and next month with be starting the process for deployment to Afghanistan. To Me, that's long distance.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/24/2008 1:05:33 PM)
I can honestly say for me, the quality of the relationships and they were good relationships other wise DID NOT make up for it being long distance and not seeing them much. It did not make the distance worth while either, since once he'd leave I'd be right back to having all the restrictions of a partner and non of the joys. quote: ORIGINAL: kallisto quote: ORIGINAL: lateralist1 However I would rather have a good long distance relationship rather than a mediocre relationship with someone local to me. I think this sums it up quite nicely. It's the quality of the relationship that will make the distance worthwhile.

LadyPact -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/24/2008 3:13:40 PM)
See, I don't see it that way, yhma. Sure, it means I can't screw around (I probably wouldn't anyway due to My own standards) but there are things more important. I know who I'm growing old with. To Me, that means I can wait until a later time to have him sitting with Me every day.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/24/2008 3:23:26 PM)
I'm not talking about screwing around, not per say, because I'm not one to screw around even if allowed either. I'm talking about emotional needs too and them not being there when you really need them because they're to far away to come. If we were long distance he would of missed being here to help me when I had to have my dog put down. And hew ould of missed saying good bye. He would of missed my birthday because he worked on the day of my Bday and wouldn't of been able to come. Or missing something that was very important to you and can't ever be duplicated or something that I wouldn't have to put up with a partner missing if I'd chosen someone who was local. . And I just don't find ldr's to be worth it and the relationship being other wise great didn't make up for the parts that sucked and I can still know who I am going to grow old with and have waited for someone who was local. I am selfish, I want what I want and it's not worth it to me if I have a partner I can't see very often, or call up on a drop of the dime and ask what are they doing mom's invited them to dinner. Or have them come over after my day's been particularly rough and I am loosing it. . quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact See, I don't see it that way, yhma. Sure, it means I can't screw around (I probably wouldn't anyway due to My own standards) but there are things more important. I know who I'm growing old with. To Me, that means I can wait until a later time to have him sitting with Me every day.

LadyPact -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/24/2008 10:37:13 PM)
I do certainly see your point. I think we just view it differently. No, it's not like either of them can run to dinner at the drop of a hat or run across town when there's an issue. The thing is, I had already accepted that when I met each of them. One of the things that I love about both of them is their commitment to serving their country. It is part of who they both are and I certainly can't deny it. I knew there would be periods of separation. I accepted that and I have no regrets.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/24/2008 10:51:22 PM)
That's all that counts:) quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I do certainly see your point. I think we just view it differently. No, it's not like either of them can run to dinner at the drop of a hat or run across town when there's an issue. The thing is, I had already accepted that when I met each of them. One of the things that I love about both of them is their commitment to serving their country. It is part of who they both are and I certainly can't deny it. I knew there would be periods of separation. I accepted that and I have no regrets.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/25/2008 6:58:02 AM)
Lady Pact, you are an inspiration. You really are. Even if I begin to feel selfish in comparision, simply because I'm struggling with whether or not I can emotionally handle what feels like a LDR with someone who is simply on the other side of the state, and less than 3 hours away. It didn't seem like such a big deal until the snow hit. Now it feels like he's clear on the other side of the world. I hate the doubts and insecurities and selfishness that I'm feeling doubting things right now....maybe its just the seasonal blues? [:(]

MisterP61 -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/25/2008 1:14:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact One of the things that I love about both of them is their commitment to serving their country. It is part of who they both are and I certainly can't deny it. I knew there would be periods of separation. I accepted that and I have no regrets. I just wanted to thank you publicly My Love. There are times when I doubt I have made the right choice in My profession. I don't when I hear this.

MRandme -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/25/2008 4:13:16 PM)
i live about an hour's drive from my Master, over a couple of mountain passes. We see each other once a week now, but for a while it was once every two or three weeks. i consider that an LDR because most of our communication happens by email, chat or phone. i consider the drive worth it... it just requires more of an effort to be transparent and communicate because we don't see each other every day. Actually i am more likely to be able to say what i need to in writing than in person, so it works out.

QueenIsis -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/25/2008 5:30:01 PM)
I'm with you, littlewonder, and also you, YourhandMyAss; if we can't get together practically at the drop of a hat, then I don't feel a need to be in the "relationship". In my case, I think it's because my ex-husband was a crack addict who, even though we lived together, I never saw because he was always "gone". I swore I would never be in that situation again, and I don't, which is why I let my last beloved pet go, and he only lived 40 miles away. I see many many males on here who seem like they'd be just what I need, but if their Profile puts them further than 20 miles away, I say no thanks. I also say no to those who may live close but have so much stuff going on that it would still be difficult to see them. Plus, I HATE to drive. If I'm going somewhere that takes me longer than a half-hour (and even that's pushing it) to drive, I get tired, head-achy, and very very ornery. Not to mention that I have three teens [with a lot of extracurricular activities] at home, so I can't just go visiting someone out of town.

oceanwynds -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/25/2008 6:11:33 PM)
We live an hour apart. The first year we did see each other a lot, but after Mom's accident, i been fortunate to see him once a month, most of the time every other month, for the last year and the half. I am sitting here though with a smile, glad he understood that i had obligations and didn't give up on us. Am happy he was able to realize life interfers many times, and you just roll with the waves. He is happy that i am the same way and can roll along with the waves as well. oceanwynds

YourhandMyAss -> RE: LongDistanceRelationships...Just curious (12/25/2008 6:50:32 PM)
Yeah I wouldn't do a local relationship but one with no time to see the other because their life was to busy either. quote: ORIGINAL: QueenIsis I'm with you, littlewonder, and also you, YourhandMyAss; if we can't get together practically at the drop of a hat, then I don't feel a need to be in the "relationship". In my case, I think it's because my ex-husband was a crack addict who, even though we lived together, I never saw because he was always "gone". I swore I would never be in that situation again, and I don't, which is why I let my last beloved pet go, and he only lived 40 miles away. I see many many males on here who seem like they'd be just what I need, but if their Profile puts them further than 20 miles away, I say no thanks. I also say no to those who may live close but have so much stuff going on that it would still be difficult to see them. Plus, I HATE to drive. If I'm going somewhere that takes me longer than a half-hour (and even that's pushing it) to drive, I get tired, head-achy, and very very ornery. Not to mention that I have three teens [with a lot of extracurricular activities] at home, so I can't just go visiting someone out of town.

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