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What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 6:56:30 AM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

Granted, I am not a precognitive person, however, being the pessimist that I am, I have come up with my predictions for 2009, based on human behavior and social paranoia.

January:
Obama sworn in, Former President Bush retires to an estate in the Grand Caymans.

February:
Current economic crisis continues down hill, gasoline falls below a dollar a gallon, bread goes up to five dollars a loaf.

March:
The Putin puppets in Russia panic, seeing no other alternative they try to launch a first strike, 70% of the weapons explode in the silos or submarines due to lack of maintainience.
Every other nuclear power responds in similar fashion, President Obama being the last president of the United States to order a nuclear strike.

April: The astronauts on the ISS realizing they have to find a way down, actually contact some one that can help.

March:
The few pockets of humanity that have survived in radiation free zones set up lists of priorities and promptly begin to fulfill the first thing on the to do list, they start screwing like rabbits to rebuild the human race.....

Watching from a cloaked scientific research vessel, two aliens look at each other, and speak.
"gert jopr denervea scanzee?" translation: want to bet how long it takes for them to wipe out their civilization again?
"GU! ISTEC ARBHEY ECHCUY!" translation, NO! losing six times is enough!

Post #: 1

RE: What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 7:18:36 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Winter is going to suck as much in January 2009 as it is in December 2008.

Spring will come.

I will turn 47 on April 29th.

Things will turn green again, flowers blooming and baby animals being born.

I will have people to love that love me.....just like I do now.

Summer will come and so will the bugs heat and humidity even though it doesn't feel like it will right now.

I will have times that frustrate me, make me want to cry, make me laugh so hard my stomach and cheeks hurt, and put me in such awe I am utterly speechless.

I will laugh and shake my head at all the idiots I see in this world and give thanks they exist to give me yet another reason to be thankful.

Fall will come, I will be overjoyed at the end of the heat, bugs and humidity.

Then after many wonderful and less than wonderful moments, I will be looking back, wondering how it went so damned fast and grumbling about Christmas shit and winter weather. Looking forward to another new year.

And still, I will have people that I love and that love me........

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 2

RE: What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 8:07:38 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

January-June;
massive bankruptcies of companies in every sector of the economy, including lots of large corporations. Some of this will be by domino effect, one bankruptcy taking out several other companies due to bad debts

personal bankruptcies and home repossessions in the thousands per week, unemployment hits 4 million in the UK by May

Sterling goes below parity with the Euro and to 1-10 against the dollar, causing UK imports for its consumer driven economy to rise 30% in price on the shelves of those retail outlets still standing and widespread poverty; malnutrition grows alarmingly. meanwhile exporters in the UK who could benefit from the exchange rate find their customers unable to buy and they start going downhill too.

All forces worldwide are brought home, including from Iraq and Afghanistan. Argentina seizes its second chance to grab the Falklands and other British dependencies go the same way. Police and armed forces gain a huge pay increase and bonus package.

July-December
We hit the bottom. Oversupply in the market has been curtailed by the loss of so many companies and jobs. But the country is effectively bankrupt because of decreased tax incomes and increased social welfare costs. The financial sector performs well, but not by doing business in the UK, where remaining companies and individuals struggle for finance, hindering any recovery.

More bankrupticies of companies and individuals, unemployment reaches 6 million by December and Sterling falls even further, taking imported prices even higher. People start dying of hunger and as winter develops from cold too. Hospitals overwhelmed.

Demands for an immediate election including protests on the streets of all towns and cities are put down by police and army under martial law. Democracy is cancelled until the situation has recovered, thousands of dissenters are arrested and simply disappear.

Telephone, internet and postal service is stopped, fuel sales are stopped - these are now for essential users only (government, police, army). Electricity is cut off along with gas. Water is still in the taps, but is not of good quality. More people die.

Workfair is introduced - people may remain in their homes such as they have and receive food and power subject to their performing work in government factories. These factories spring up across the country, turning out cheaply made products for export.

2010
The economy as a whole recovers, with the remaining 40 million population being divided into a million fabulously wealthy politicians and financiers, a million well equipped and armed police and army forces and 38 million slave labourers.

Cheery soul, aint I!?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 3

RE: What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 8:08:18 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

Standing ovation to LaT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 4

RE: What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 8:15:44 AM

SilverMark

Posts: 3457
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline

I sure like LaTigresse's predictions much more than the others!....
My Predicitons: The sky is not falling....the world is not ending...holly will trip and fall over something....potty will make fun of the fact that holly fell over something.....I will turn 50....Life will be fabulous....and next year everyone will once again predict doom and gloom....except a few like me who simply refuse to participate in other's pessimistic views of life....

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 5

RE: What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 8:44:46 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

SilverMark will gain more face
Potty will continue to lie about her virginity
Greedy and her Pirate will marry and have sex
CD will never, ever break the speed limit on his Putt-Putt
AngelEyes will refrain from kicking the shit out of her ex
Greedy and Priate will continue to have sex
ModXI will roll her eyes twice as much as in 2008
Gwyn will have a healthy and much loved baby
GroundHogPhil will hump countless legs
Lumus and his lady will continue to be sickeningly happy
Aylee will watch the beautiful Butterhead toss Coke on her electronics
Peaches will remain the Resident Cutie Pie
Bear will not shave
Sci will doughnut himself into a coma
Soul2Share will make us smile

and i will *sigh* continue to *grits teeth* defrost my stooopid kitchen pipes!!!!!!!

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to SilverMark)

Post #: 6

RE: What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 8:45:19 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

The thing that amazes me, regardless of how bad it might get........guaranteed, it's been worse. We survived. Things are cyclic. It can't be great all of the time. The biggest problems come when you expect it to be.

Why are people continually surprised and freaked out by all of it?

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 12/23/2008 8:46:28 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SilverMark)

Post #: 7

RE: What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 1:20:07 PM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

Okay, since my fever broke again, I will give a much more optimistic prediction:

January:
President Obama assumes the office of President of the United States.

February: A 36 year old geek who has never gotten laid because he is the ULTIMATE geek's geek figures out how to make nuclear fusion work efficiently, patents his idea before anyone realizes it and and forms the International Corporation AYBLWGOWMNIRTASBM "All You Beautiful Ladies Wouldn't Go Out With Me, Now I am Richer Than Anyone, So Blow Me" Inc.

March: Geek puts Silver Mark in charge of the North American Power Company, with a salary of 56 billion a year.
March 20: Geek (who really was not bad looking, just a Geek) hires LaT to find him a girl that will like him for himself, not the trillions of dollars in his bank account.

April: Geek Hires Holly and her Sir and puts them in charge of the non profit organization to end war.

March: After a complete breakdown of the British Government, Lady Ellen is drafted to pick up the peaces and fix everything...

April: Holly hooks Uber Rich Geek up with Potty.

May: All petroleum burning cars are recalled and replaced with clean electric vehicles. Some of the options include Auto to Plane transformation, Auto to boat transformation, Auto to submarine transformation, and the very popular Mini van that turns the entire cargo area into a queen sized bed.

June: I turn 48.
Laws are passed making it mandatory to enlarge passenger plane lavatories to sizes that will allow up to 4 people get into the mile high club at the same time.

July: Obama having signed a deal with uber rich geek and the Peace organization pulls all troops out of all foreign countries.

August: Russian Hardliners in power are discovered at the DC Hilton with girls supplied by the DC madame. A picture of Putin circulates around the web of him wearing a saddle and this buxom red head whipping him with a riding crop.

September:
An alien race, surprised by our sudden change in attitude makes contact and gives us everything we need to cure every fatal disease on the planet and make the entire planet able to produce farm crops.

October: With no wars to worry about, President Obama introduces an education program that actually works

November: Sirsholly and her Sir are caught bare assed having sex on the top observation platform of the Eifel Tower.

December: I finally get rid of this blasted cold

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 8

RE: What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 1:48:29 PM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

I don't want to predict what will be, nor wish for changes, but have decided to be part of the changes and all I can say right now on that basis is:

IT'S GOING TO BE BETTER.

All I know is that in 2009 I will be celebrating my 20th anniversary of artistic work, and no doubt I will find a way to do something interesting somewhere.

My work from this year continues...

SOLIDARITY WITH THE PEOPLE.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 9

RE: What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 2:13:00 PM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

SilverMark will gain more face
Potty will continue to lie about her virginity
Greedy and her Pirate will marry and have sex
CD will never, ever break the speed limit on his Putt-Putt
AngelEyes will refrain from kicking the shit out of her ex
Greedy and Priate will continue to have sex
ModXI will roll her eyes twice as much as in 2008
Gwyn will have a healthy and much loved baby
GroundHogPhil will hump countless legs
Lumus and his lady will continue to be sickeningly happy
Aylee will watch the beautiful Butterhead toss Coke on her electronics
Peaches will remain the Resident Cutie Pie
Bear will not shave
Sci will doughnut himself into a coma
Soul2Share will make us smile

and i will *sigh* continue to *grits teeth* defrost my stooopid kitchen pipes!!!!!!!

Ahem....i say....AHEM....

disgruntled
perse

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 10

RE: What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 2:31:14 PM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

March: After a complete breakdown of the British Government, Lady Ellen is drafted to pick up the peaces and fix everything...

and may God have mercy on them all

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 11

RE: What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 3:17:22 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

SilverMark will gain more face
Potty will continue to lie about her virginity
Greedy and her Pirate will marry and have sex
CD will never, ever break the speed limit on his Putt-Putt
AngelEyes will refrain from kicking the shit out of her ex
Greedy and Priate will continue to have sex
ModXI will roll her eyes twice as much as in 2008
Gwyn will have a healthy and much loved baby
GroundHogPhil will hump countless legs
Lumus and his lady will continue to be sickeningly happy
Aylee will watch the beautiful Butterhead toss Coke on her electronics
Peaches will remain the Resident Cutie Pie
Bear will not shave
Sci will doughnut himself into a coma
Soul2Share will make us smile

and i will *sigh* continue to *grits teeth* defrost my stooopid kitchen pipes!!!!!!!

Ahem....i say....AHEM....

disgruntled
perse

Don't feel bad I'm never noted in these things.

However in 2009 I think I will stalk people while Dressed this time to cut back on all the down time while being arrested.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to persephonee)

Post #: 12

RE: What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 6:47:45 PM

MarksFantasyGirl

Posts: 3660
Joined: 10/13/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

SilverMark will gain more face
Potty will continue to lie about her virginity
Greedy and her Pirate will marry and have sex
CD will never, ever break the speed limit on his Putt-Putt
AngelEyes will refrain from kicking the shit out of her ex
Greedy and Priate will continue to have sex
ModXI will roll her eyes twice as much as in 2008
Gwyn will have a healthy and much loved baby
GroundHogPhil will hump countless legs
Lumus and his lady will continue to be sickeningly happy
Aylee will watch the beautiful Butterhead toss Coke on her electronics
Peaches will remain the Resident Cutie Pie
Bear will not shave
Sci will doughnut himself into a coma
Soul2Share will make us smile

and i will *sigh* continue to *grits teeth* defrost my stooopid kitchen pipes!!!!!!!

Ahem....i say....AHEM....

disgruntled
perse

Don't feel bad I'm never noted in these things.

However in 2009 I think I will stalk people while Dressed this time to cut back on all the down time while being arrested.

Steel

I'm not mentioned either... But I will start undressing with the curtains open so Steel can stalk me properly! lol

_____________________________

--Fannie
AKA Savage's Fantasy
AKA Girl Dave
AKA Resident Flirt
AKA Sexy Hawt Woman

~*~Happily and proudly collared by my best friend~*~

Quitcher bitchen, and get out of the kitchen! ~Harry {3rdRock}

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 13

RE: What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 7:07:20 PM

thornhappy

Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

SilverMark will gain more face
Potty will continue to lie about her virginity
Greedy and her Pirate will marry and have sex
CD will never, ever break the speed limit on his Putt-Putt
AngelEyes will refrain from kicking the shit out of her ex
Greedy and Priate will continue to have sex
ModXI will roll her eyes twice as much as in 2008
Gwyn will have a healthy and much loved baby
GroundHogPhil will hump countless legs
Lumus and his lady will continue to be sickeningly happy
Aylee will watch the beautiful Butterhead toss Coke on her electronics
Peaches will remain the Resident Cutie Pie
Bear will not shave
Sci will doughnut himself into a coma
Soul2Share will make us smile

and i will *sigh* continue to *grits teeth* defrost my stooopid kitchen pipes!!!!!!!

Ahem....i say....AHEM....

disgruntled
perse

Ahem..Ahem...AHEM...

Yep, that was original.

thornhappy the peeved, watching nervously for the groundhog

< Message edited by thornhappy -- 12/23/2008 7:08:14 PM >

(in reply to persephonee)

Post #: 14

RE: What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 7:11:54 PM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

i predict that thorny and perse will hop on Steel and ride him all the way to Steelbilation 09....waddya say, thorny?

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to thornhappy)

Post #: 15

RE: What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 9:01:16 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

Sweet. I not get to classify myself as a Carrier Vessle.

SWEET!!

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to persephonee)

Post #: 16

RE: What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 9:04:38 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

Fannie, we only stalk the ones we love and want to Keep perfect for the world to see in every way. I have made a Doll out of the Toenail Clippings and Shower Drain Hair ... I caller PsuedoFannie.

We sleep together, but it's not serious I can leave her at any time.

Please start throwing away more used Klenex I am having a hard time stuffing the Gutted Matress pillows.

Stalker Steel ..

**That's Hella Creepy Innit?**

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to MarksFantasyGirl)

Post #: 17

RE: What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 9:14:48 PM

MarksFantasyGirl

Posts: 3660
Joined: 10/13/2005
Status: offline

I predict that I will be buying stock in Kleanex as the sales are about to double.....

I also predict that I will be "throwing away" more panties, hair brushes, and napkins with lipstick stains on them... :-D

_____________________________

--Fannie
AKA Savage's Fantasy
AKA Girl Dave
AKA Resident Flirt
AKA Sexy Hawt Woman

~*~Happily and proudly collared by my best friend~*~

Quitcher bitchen, and get out of the kitchen! ~Harry {3rdRock}

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 18

RE: What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 10:02:29 PM

OneMoreWaste

Posts: 910
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline

I predict that shit will officially move from "pretty fucked up" status, to "really fucked up"
Taxes will go up
People will die
The rich will get richer (globally)
The working poor will get poorer (in the West)
The price of ammunition will continue to rise
The global currency standard will move from the US Dollar to the Gigabyte Of Porn
Ben Stiller will star in a shitty movie that makes millions of dollars for no apparent reason
The U.S. Government will bail out the "Carb-Free" food manufacturing industry, the collectible trading card industry, and the Hybrid-Dogs-With-Cutesy-Names industry
The Random Stupidity peanut gallery will be hired as Piracy Consultants by the Somalian government
LadyEllen will have a brief moment of optimism, only to have it crushed by the new Royal Ministry of Optimism
MzMia will have a brief moment of pessimism, but will never be seen again after being taken into custody by the new U.S. Department of Optimism
YourHandMyAss will post a thread with a title that DOESN'T exceed the character limit, just to fuck with people
Ron will come back with another name, get banned again, and somehow still have a cheering section asking where he went
Popeye will trade in his Linc for a Dodge Viper with wide whitewalls and a set of steer horns on the hood
ChiaThePet will become the poster child for the new Green(tm) trend, but will eventually fall from grace over "artistic differences"
Mod11 will sue Collarchat for mental trauma, but the case will not go to trial until 2010
The Random Stupidity peanut gallery will be sued for mental trauma by the Somalian government
pahunkboy will start the Gay Survivalist Militia For Liberty, which will disband before the end of the year due to an inability to reach an agreement on the uniforms
I will have sex approximately 7 times
By the end of the year, shit will be approaching "majorly fucked up" status.

_____________________________

-and the few still remember passion over rage-

(in reply to MarksFantasyGirl)

Post #: 19

RE: What are your predictions for 2009? - 12/23/2008 10:05:28 PM

scifi1133

Posts: 8529
Joined: 3/27/2007
From: virginia
Status: offline

I'm going to donut myself into a coma?

_____________________________

I'm the happy fascist slut.
awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeah
And I see your schwartz is as big as mine.
My heart 10-01-72 / 10-16-09

(in reply to OneMoreWaste)

Post #: 20

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All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> What are your predictions for 2009?

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