|
Padriag -> RE: **New Rule** Keeps fakes at bay... (1/4/2006 3:16:41 AM)
|
Personally, I don't think a 2 week rule is going to be any guarantee of weeding out fakes... particularly the more devious ones. The best means I've found of doing that is the one thing no one else can ever replace... my own judgement.
I do think such a 2 week rule will likely do you as much harm as it will good in your search if you strictly enforce it. If you don't strictly enforce it, but instead bend it for this one and that one because of this or that circumstance then why bother with a rule at all? Personally I think the only thing it would be good for is finding play partners. Long term relationships generally take an investment of a bit more effort than that (not always, sometimes you get lucky and someone wonderful literally falls in your lap... but you can't count on that sort of luck).
Speaking as a dominant, there are those I would have met in person within two weeks of meeting them online... a few the same day (one I knew I'd ask to marry me the day I met her... luck of the Irish ya know). But there have also been those I would not have met that quickly, for whatever reason I wanted more time to get to know them. I also think about my own work schedule right now... there is in fact a friend I met here who lives just 35 miles away and wants to meet for coffee and to see my portfolio... and I'd like that, but haven't had time. I probably won't have time to do it til next month somtime. KoM made a good point about this, and I very much agree, is that two weeks of talking 8 hours a day every day, or talking 2 days for 2 hours each... that's a huge difference. I suppose you could say that after chatting online for 28 hours cumulative time you will expect them to agree to a meeting (thats an average of 2 hours a day, every day for 2 weeks), but do you really want to be governed yourself by a timer? There are just too many possible exceptions to a rule like that for it to be a means of "weeding out fakes". But then I find that's generally true of any "one size fits all" kind of rule.
That's not to say I don't have standards. For example if I get the impression at any point in getting to know someone that they're never going to meet in person, I promptly write them off as anything other than a friend and let them know that. If they want to do something about that, that's up to them, but until they impress me otherwise, friendship is all I will offer. But again this goes back to relying on my own judgement, my own standards, and my own intuition... there's no simplistic rule, there's only my assessment of the situation and what action I think is appropriate. I make it clear in my profile that I am looking for a real, long term, master/slave relationship. Now that may stop some "fakes" by itself, but it hasn't stopped some wankers from writing to me anyway wanting to know if I'll dom them online or some other such nonsense. I don't think setting a 2 week time limit will change that... there are still plenty of people just out for giggles and grins that will happily string you along for that 2 weeks. Meanwhile there are those that can't just pick up an fly out to meet you because they're in college or mothers with kids and so on... or they can't drive that 150 miles to meet because of the rising cost of gas. And frankly, do you really have enough air miles to cash in you can afford to fly to meet everyone who does agree to meet in that 2 weeks? That could potentially be a lot of people. Just sitting here counting up the friends I have made here who I would like to visit someday, that would add up to ooooh... lets see, round trip tickets to Europe, UK, Canada, various parts of the US, Australia... I think we're into six digit numbers... ugh! One day I do hope to meet all these people, just isn't gonna happen in two weeks. Probably not in two years... but we'll get there when we can.
quote:
I’m interested in what your thoughts are and I am also interested in with the subs/slaves think of having to obide by a Master’s rule before he may or may not become your Master.
I think rules regarding their interaction with you are fine... but not rules regarding them. That is, I expect and insist on someone having good basic manners, I expect them to be open with me (who wants to batter down walls just to get know someone), and I expect them to be forthcoming regarding some basic info about themselves. They'll get the same from me. If they can't abide by such simple expectations, I reserve the right to cut contact with them. I'm well within my rights as a human being to say, "You want to take up my time talking to me, you'll treat me with courtesy and respect, otherwise, why are you here?" But beyond that I have no particular right to make rules governing them. I don't have the right to demand nude pics, demand that they not talk to others, or demand that they behave in certain ways or do certain things (beyond how they treat me). If they don't like my rules for communicating with me, then they probably weren't what I was looking for anyway. That's alright, as Devlin pointed out, just because someone isn't what you are looking for or didn't live up to your expectations doesn't mean they are a fake. Sometimes all it means is you're expectations were unrealistic.
|
|
|
|
