Goth, Sort of

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KatyLied -> Goth, Sort of (12/31/2005 12:30:09 PM)
My son (17) returned from my ex's today. Wearing black pants with many chains, rings, zippers, etc. I admired them ( internally). Until he said to me "I bought five pair of them." I said "Oh, do the chains detach?" He replied "yes." This child is very non-conforming, and doesn't have a conventional bone in his body. I value those qualities and find those types of people interesting. But I probably value them more in an adult than in a 17 year old boy. I wonder if he can wear those pants to school.....

Focus50 -> RE: Goth, Sort of (12/31/2005 1:48:34 PM)
You need the variety of non-conformists; it adds colour and diversity even when you don't approve (but preferably on someone else's kid.... lol) And there was a time I yousta find the Goth look highly attractive on women until they embraced tattoos and body-piercings as "normal". Ahhhh, the good ole days.... sigh Focus.

KatyLied -> RE: Goth, Sort of (12/31/2005 1:55:07 PM)
I think one of my kids took my values a bit too the extreme and is running with it. Did I mention he dyes his hair black and his bangs hang over his eyes? In parenting, I believe that it is wise to choose your battles carefully. He is the hugger of my kids, so there's the soft spot.

MHOO314 -> RE: Goth, Sort of (12/31/2005 4:51:06 PM)
dear KatyLied--(smiles)-- 2 pair of gothic chained paints at Hottopic 100 1 lace choker 15 2 pair fish net gloves 20 1 marvelous bustier for Mom 40 Freedom of expression Priceless I am lucky, we home school, she can wear what she chooses, as long as the chains are removed, most schools will allow them-- and My shock when My well turned out, ballet, sophisticated daughter had them on her Yule list--but as we went out, with her knee high boots, chained pants, matching jacket, fishnet gloves and hair neatly pulled in to a chignon---she looked freaking awesome-- (and reminded Me of someone else... hmmm) welcome to the goth era, so is he a prep goth, an emo goth, a vampire goth, a vegan goth, etc etc etc hugs...

Quivver -> RE: Goth, Sort of (12/31/2005 6:40:47 PM)
You've got nothing to worry about Katy... unless my female unmentionable get's a hold of him and has him wearing a collar and leash. She's been collecting............ Q

girl4you2 -> RE: Goth, Sort of (12/31/2005 11:26:31 PM)
edited: quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 and My shock when My well turned out, ballet, sophisticated daughter had them on her Yule list--but as we went out, with her knee high boots, chained pants, matching jacket, fishnet gloves and hair neatly pulled in to a chignon---she looked freaking awesome-- (and reminded Me of someone else... hmmm) i find it particularly funny to see bunheads wearing goth or far too hip clothing. just doesn't fit. i still remember the year mine got pants with a chain and wanted a neck choker with spikes. pointe shoes and goth. what a mix.

aurora31 -> RE: Goth, Sort of (1/1/2006 12:40:16 AM)
OMG...this sounds so much like my soon to be 18 yr old female umentionable. Who aslo had on her wed page a very strong interest in the life style and really almost knew more about it then I did at the time I stumbled acroos her web page on accident. I am so enviuos of her collection of collars that it is not even funny...lol aurora

krys -> RE: Goth, Sort of (1/1/2006 5:40:49 AM)
The good news is, he'll be fine. You'd have cause for concern if your 17 year old boy wanted his mom picking out his clothes. And as for that choice being goth, well, all I can say is a fashion statement has never made anyone a better or worse person.

KatyLied -> RE: Goth, Sort of (1/1/2006 5:42:48 AM)
It is funny. I wanted to detach the chains from his pants and touch them, play with them, measure them.

thetammyjo -> RE: Goth, Sort of (1/1/2006 7:40:13 AM)
If its becoming a trend, how is it non-conformist still? Wouldn't a true non-conformist not look like anyone else even if that everyone else is only 1% of the school/community/videos/movies/etc? Or is it non-conformist in terms of what the family wears? Just thinking too much.

KatyLied -> RE: Goth, Sort of (1/1/2006 8:09:29 AM)
It is non-conformist in the sense that his friends (his immediate peer group) do not dress in that fashion. And I don't wear that stuff either. So he is definitely standing out, if only in his own little part of the globe.

MstrssPassion -> RE: Goth, Sort of (1/1/2006 8:22:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied I wonder if he can wear those pants to school..... Check the school handbook on uniform codes. I have 3 children in all three levels of school, Elementary, Middle & High. Each school differs, some require an actual uniform, others have specific restrictions. My daughter has a pair of pants like you described. I was called from work to either bring her a different pair of pants or pick her up from school, she will be waiting for me in the office. I really found nothing wrong with the pants. I saw no hazards or safety risk. I have also been called about fishnet items. These are not items that are worn in a revealing manner, they are long sleeve shirts with thumb holes that she wears a t-shirt over. Again I have been called to either bring her a change or pick her up. Now, I do have a huge issue with the number of young girls running around with hip huggers & midriff shirts with deep plunges or boys with their pants hanging just under their ass-cheeks with their underwear showing... THOSE items are mentioned as not allowed in the manual, yet to walk on campus & you will see several students wearing just that. Good luck with your son. If you do find out that these items are not permitted at your school, maybe you can tell him what I have told my children. Think of school like you would a job. In a professional setting your employer can & will set rules as to how you can dress. As a student you are at school to get an education & you will have to live by the rules they have established. Away from school you have to live by the rules that we as a family have established.

KatyLied -> RE: Goth, Sort of (1/1/2006 8:45:18 AM)
Bondage Pants Looks like those, but with more chains.

MstrssPassion -> RE: Goth, Sort of (1/1/2006 8:50:43 AM)
yes, my daughter's are very similar. They gave me the excuse that this type of clothing causes a distraction. DISTRACTION??!! What, a 13 y/o girls belly button & budding cleavage exposed to the young men just figuring out what testosterone is & hardly having a handle on it is not a distraction?? Go figure!

KatyLied -> RE: Goth, Sort of (1/1/2006 8:52:46 AM)
I can't stand the girls wearing those tiny tops that expose the midriff. quote: DISTRACTION??!! I wanna touch those toys attached to the pants. Maybe that's the distraction. [;)]

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Goth, Sort of (1/1/2006 6:10:35 PM)
The perfect time in their life to experiment and play with one's image and self expression. Even if they do it by doing exactly what everyone before them has ever done. It's new for them.

KatyLied -> RE: Goth, Sort of (1/1/2006 7:18:05 PM)
quote: Even if they do it by doing exactly what everyone before them has ever done. It's new for them. Yes, exactly. That is why I choose battles carefully. I don't want to ever think that I am stunting self-expression.

Noah -> RE: Goth, Sort of (1/3/2006 8:10:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied I think one of my kids took my values a bit too the extreme and is running with it. Did I mention he dyes his hair black and his bangs hang over his eyes? In parenting, I believe that it is wise to choose your battles carefully. He is the hugger of my kids, so there's the soft spot. Dark hair and bangs over the eyes? Are you sitting down? If the bangs just hang straight and limp it may have something to do with gothiness, for which there is a cure. If not The Cure. But Katy please tell me that the bangs don't swoop langorously from one side of the forehead to the other cheek. "Goth" is listed for good reason under the Hard Limits heading of all persons of taste, or at least un-paralyzed imagination. But (infinitely far and therefore not visible on your screen) beneath Hard Limits is the category of unmentionables. The real risk you face is that your son has fallen prey to the genre that wasn't even mildly interesting for twenty minutes back in the eighties, as goth can sort of claim. Gather your friends around you Katy for if those bangs are sinuously diagonal you may be the parent of an Emo Kid Oh he'll grow out of that too, but I would advise ear plugs--the brightly colored wooden ones from a golf pro-shop are most reliable if not least messy... and press them all the way in, sweetie--if he heads for the CD player with one of those dark-swoopy-bangs recordings in hand. "This is wot I'm on about! This is the insipidness inherent in the system!"

KatyLied -> RE: Goth, Sort of (1/4/2006 3:58:20 AM)
The bangs hang straight down. I'm not sure what help his glasses offer at this point. But at least he wears them (I won that battle, but I think the long bangs negate it). He listens to what I refer to as Norweigian Death Metal. It is weird music. But I'm sure my music seemed "weird" to my parents. At least that's what I keep telling myself. Off in the distance, down the hallway, I hear the sound of chains jingling.

Quivver -> RE: Goth, Sort of (1/4/2006 4:48:38 AM)
Fad's come and Fad's go... We see this from tired eyes where as the unmentionables see fresh. Its a statement, it's them evolving to be them, just from the outside in. I found with my older unmentionable for the most part not to say no, yuck, or OMG. Your best bet is to slightly encourage. Kind of like the MakeUp every 12 year old thinks she has to have and if you dont let her she will be wearing someone elses at school. Hence sneaking, which usually leads to lying. After 3, 12 year old girls who got make up and learned to apply it correctly they realized after 6 months it wasnt such a big deal. I never had to look at an over painted face like some other parents did. :>) Q

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