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Kalista07 -> RE: Blessings and Other Good Stuff (12/25/2008 11:05:38 AM)
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Merry Christmas everyone. i've been given so much more than i ever deserved in life, let alone this particular year. i remember when i first got sick with Graves Disease, i couldn't physically work full time anymore, i didn't have adequate insurance coverage and had to go to the doctor to have my blood checked twice a week. At one point the church i grew up in took a collection for my rent and medication. In fact, an announcement was made during the service that i was sick and if anyone wanted to make a donation see so and so at the end of the service....This elderly man (who held a special place in my heart until the day he died, and even beyond) stood up in the middle of the service and stated that he was going to put in $50.00 who would match that. This continued until they had collected about $600.00. i remember i felt so undeserving, so unworthy. i really didn't want to accept it. And this lady that i called from that church taught me about grace and dignity. She taught me that grace is about doing more than what you can or should for another person, it is about allowing them to do that for you.
This particular year has been a wonderful one for me, all things considered. i had two car accidents, totalled both vehicles, walked away alive and well from both, filed bankruptcy, surrendered my house, etc. etc. But, today is Christmas day, and for the first time i got something from Him from Santa. You can not even begin to imagine how awesome this is!! This is the man two years ago who hated Christmas!!!!! Despite the fact that last night i was throwing up (feeling like i was going to suffocate) this is perhaps one of the best Christmas's i've had. It's given me a unique perspective. My nephew called me this morning to wake me up and wish me Merry Christmas and tell me that he loves me and misses me. i melted through the phone when i heard the concern in his voice when i told him there are presents from me when he goes to Grandma's today. i called my mom to wish her a merry Christmas, and she had this peaceful sound to her voice. Something almost rare for her. She talked about how much she enjoyed the lack of pressure and time constraints this year, and how she was going to enjoy this Christmas day. It's the first time i've heard her sound so peaceful on Christmas ever, let alone since my dad died.
i just feel very very grateful this Christmas. i have so much more than i need, and soo sooo much more than i could have ever deserved. i'm in a relationship with a man who loves me, treats me with respect, and is encouraging and supportive as well.
Okay, back to bed with me,
Kali
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