Hell Explained

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Hell Explained

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> Hell Explained

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Hell Explained - 12/26/2008 2:30:04 PM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a Universityof Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is , of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law ( gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed ) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionate ly as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than t he rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and20pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Hell Explained - 12/26/2008 2:56:48 PM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

See, brains make me sooo horny...and this is the kind of shit that gets a girl knocked up.
i need a cold shower...and this kids phone number.
Help a sistah out?

perse

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Hell Explained - 12/26/2008 4:11:56 PM

GoodFeathers

Posts: 202
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline

Who ever said nerds were not sexy was an idiot. I don't know this kid, but I wanna do naughty things to him...

_____________________________

"The more I learn, the more I realize I haven't learned enough."

(in reply to persephonee)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Hell Explained - 12/26/2008 5:36:54 PM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

A very old bit of nonsense---but still an enjoyable bit!

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Hell Explained - 12/26/2008 5:39:20 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

I believe this guy because I have had sex with a LOT of women who told me that it would never happen or when hell freezes over so I am inclined to think this student has something.

I am now wondering what the exact number of step is on the stairway to heaven and if they could build that why there hasn't been an Elevator put in yet?

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Musicmystery)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Hell Explained - 12/26/2008 5:48:36 PM

MissSepphora1

Posts: 669
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline

It doesn't count if you use ruffies.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Hell Explained - 12/26/2008 5:51:33 PM

MissSepphora1

Posts: 669
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline

Besides that, hell is not a place, but a state of being. Hell is the separation from God, the Father, caused by sin. So when some people say they are in hell, or in a living hell, they might be right.

(in reply to MissSepphora1)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Hell Explained - 12/26/2008 5:51:51 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

You're right. I should be Ashamed of myself.

Never again will I abuse someones trust that way, and disregard thier desire to NEVER have sex with me.

So...

Ummm.......

Wanna Go for a Drink?

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to MissSepphora1)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Hell Explained - 12/26/2008 5:54:20 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSepphora1

Besides that, hell is not a place, but a state of being. Hell is the separation from God, the Father, caused by sin. So when some people say they are in hell, or in a living hell, they might be right.

Rather Theological of you.

The whole Fire and Brimstone thing buggs you huh?

I get it, you like the whole, whatever you think happens is what happens. Cause I think I'm gunna just wake up as I'm born all over again and then forget everything before I turn 2 and have to re live all my same mistakes over and over again.

Hows that for Deep?

So....

Ummmm....

Seriously, You wanna go for that drink now?

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to MissSepphora1)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Hell Explained - 12/26/2008 5:58:48 PM

MissSepphora1

Posts: 669
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline

It's not that it bugs me, it's just that I don't believe the "Fire and Brimstone".
And considering how Utah is far from WV, I don't think it would be possible to go for a drink now.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Hell Explained - 12/26/2008 6:02:26 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

This is True.

Well it was worth a Shot.

If I try to take this joke any further it will just get Pathetic do I'll leave it at Touch'e.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to MissSepphora1)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Hell Explained - 12/27/2008 4:42:56 AM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

Um....you told me you never get shot down, Steel....you told me that last time i shot you down....im wondering now, why i wanna have a drink all the sudden?

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Profile

Post #: 12